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Follow Friday: Backyard Beekeeping

24 Oct

Today’s post features the beehive Anthony’s cousin Depeche kept a few years ago. Have a great weekend!

What is a Follow Friday post? It’s a blog series I created a few years ago based on a Twitter meme.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Would you like to be a guest photographer for Follow Friday? Email me!

SadieSmithRoks Not a lot of people know this, but if you dress up like a pirate and go into Red Lobster, you eat for free.

LaurelKS  Each one of my yearbooks was signed by a librarian because I am way cooler than you.

jneeley78   We were promised jetpacks, and instead we got the band We Were Promised Jetpacks.

SomeChrisTweets  Parents, remember to check your child’s Halloween candy for dangers. You never know when some psychopath will tamper treats with gluten.

sween  Witch King: “No man can kill me.” Eowyn: “I am no man.” [Stabs him] Witch King: [Shrieks] “GAMERGATE IS ABOUT JOURNALISTIC ETHICS!” [Dies]

kerihw  sometimes i think it would be cool to have a friend but then i remember not having dips all to myself

johnmoe  What I do: – McConaughey commercial comes on – Mute – Narrate own version in McC voice about trying to find a “yogurt-in-a-hat restaurant”

iboudreau  Jose Cuervo’s motto is “Have a story.” My story is that I told my roommate to throw me into a hedge and then I puked on my shoes.

shinyinfo  My and @vforrestal friendship is founded in a deep well of poop jokes.

michaeljnelson  Life hack: go into a cheese shop, eat as much cheese as you can till the cops come then claim, “I thought they were free samples!”

iboudreau  Wasn’t watching the game but I think I just heard a tuba singing “God Bless America.”

tinatbh  A black heart emoji is seriously needed.

brookeperrin  An adult man asked me if it was “that time” today and now I don’t know what to do with this body.

ibid78  My anaconda didn’t want this. He didn’t want any of this.

introvertedwife  I suspect I could go full Darmok with nothing but Simpsons and Futurama quotes. Fry’s dog, in the lava, dolomite baby.

GianDoh  I got more hang-ups than a Bangalore telemarketer.

Thndrdomesticty   I bought linked hotdogs today in hopes that a dog will steal them from the grill and run away, bringing every old childhood cartoon to life.

johnmoe   My favorite Led Zeppelin song is “Hard Lovin’ Sex Hobbit Woman”.

InfiniteChicken   I cut my hand on the jagged lid while opening a can of whupass.

shutupmikeginn  Wow that’s now 9 therapists in a row that have fallen in love with me but are too chicken to admit it

ntabebe  My favorite part of the Iliad is the extended conversation about how SNL hasn’t been any good in years

theleanover  I bet when Breaking Bad producers saw Aaron Paul was in a movie called Need For Speed they said “That is a way better title for our show.”

sbellelauren if a wood chuck could chuck wood i would never stop screaming

InternetEh  The office fixed the phones so we can now get incoming calls. Dammit.

FlyoverJoel  I’ve reached the point in my life where “Do not go gentle into that good night” means staying up until 9:15 watching Network television.

PrettyAllTrue Torn between wanting to get rid of this horrific cough and luxuriating in the increased amount of personal space the cough affords me.

moooooog35  I don’t know what all these chairs are lined up for in our lobby but I’m preparing an acceptance speech just in case.

joshgondelman  A perfect name for a dog is Dog Stevens.

loather  Human beings were not meant to be awake before the sun. Why are you trying to show up the sun.

HelloCullen  New Yogurt That Instantly Makes You Shit Your Pants Targeted at Women

donni  At Motel 6, they leave the light on for you because they like to watch

weinerdog4life  “You’re free now” I whisper as I throw my trombone into the ocean

markleggett  Just had a chat with a co-worker that saved me 15 minutes of email writing. I’m working smarter not harder, plus I got to hear my own voice!

wordlust  My safeword is “Midterm elections!”

wheatandsky  If I were to ever get a classic Mom tattoo it would just be a big heart with the word Soup.

 

burritojustice  oh boo the eclipse will finish before 3rd World Series game starts, was hoping we could rattle Royals with our ability to control the sky

notbedelia  White girls, it’s time we tell the truth. It’s not that we can’t even, we just won’t even.

DanKCharnley  no one has it as bad as donald trump’s washcloth

UncleDynamite  When you’re 75 & reprising your greatest hits at state fairs, that’s when you’ll be glad each song has 30 references to the word “booty.”

chezseamus I think I heard someone on the train this morning call their kid “Ethernet”

rstevens  Sir, economic forecasts indicate a $9 billion per year market for bolognas with a hole in them. You simply MUST greenlight Project Fleshloaf

slackmistress  You don’t need to love me, just hate the people I hate.

Laser_Cat  Sorry, grandma. You stood up. You have to be Slim Shady now.

HeathRobots  Yarn balls is my new favorite curse.

xtop  seems unfair I can’t rate a movie on itunes with a farting emoji

cloudypianos My animals look so tired like they ever fucking do anything.

senderblock23  Want to feel old? Yesterday was three days ago

david8hughes  [personal trainer] “So what do you want to achieve from our sessions?” “I just want to be strong enough to throw my son into space.”

Sickayduh  Welcome to Rhythm Nation Yoga Studio. I’m Janet. Miss Jackson if ya namaste.

kerihw  ED SCISSORHANDS: This group is a safe place. FRED KRUEGER: You can talk here. WOLVERINE: It’s just .. I keep catching them on curtains.

fart  if you work at babies r us it’s a good idea to say “i work at babies r us, but I am not a baby, myself”

man_spach  I don’t always wear a cape but when I do it’s my hospital gown turned backwards as I’m being forcibly discharged.

Ninja_Soup_  I, too, am indifferent to what Jimmy does or doesn’t do with his corn.

donni  Landlords are the most common type of royalty

 

islandofapples  My husband cleaned the garage last week and now every time we come home we think we’ve been robbed.

pontiuslabar  In your query letter, mention you’re willing to commit a high-profile crime just prior to your pub date.

cloudypianos  My idea of excitement is hitting the snooze twenty times then doing my equivalent of a decathlon to get ready in ten minutes.

PeachCoffin  Has anyone ever seen Rachael Ray and R2D2-wearing-a-wig-and-wielding-a-cheap-chef’s-knife in the same room together

libsnyds  “E.V.O.O. stands for Extra Virgin Olive Oil.” -Rachael Ray’s tombstone, probably

J__Swift  braaaaaaiiiiiddddsssss – zombie with a cold.

kellyasterisk  Before bed every night I try and visualise in slow motion doing a summersault and it’s so challenging to do that I fall asleep right away.

rstevens  if you see my clone, that shit owes me money

farwent  The Germans must have a word for the particular disappointment one feels upon seeing their tweet just got a fave but not a RT.

littlestp123  girls are attracted to guys with veiny arms because girls like guys with lots of blood. good for harvesting

rstevens  Productivity tip: Never have any problems, ever

twelveyearsold  *makes pug noises walking up a slight incline*

cloudypianos  My miniature hand drum brings all the boys to my yard and they’re like “please stop doing that”.

MassageByTed  I hate getting that “Dick Not Ejected Properly” message when I haven’t even taken my dick out of the computer yet.

kerihw  shall i compare thee to a summer’s day thou art covered in wasps

MelissaStetten  Went through a haunted house that was actually an airport full of people coughing on me.

TheRedQueen  For a brief moment I thought about wrapping my besties birthday presents. But then I had a good laugh and slapped that shit in a gift bag.

wordlust  The enemy of my enemy is my evil twin’s nemesis.

 

swollenvoice You’re not beautiful on the inside. I’ve taken anatomy classes. Pretty gross stuff.

ibid78  It just took me four swipes of my debit card to get it in right, if you’re wondering how precise and attentive a lover I am.

sbellelauren  boy i sure am anxious today better have a 5th cup of coffee

BruceForce  I agree with my friends that twitter is no substitute for real world interaction. Hope they got my text.

SamuelMoen  You know you’re “socially awkward” when you try to have a conversation with someone and the only thing that comes out of your mouth is blood

FeedItComics Hulu was named after Cthulhu.

Pumpkinbabypie  Starting to feel a little bit sorry for the treble.

TheBosha  **younger man approaches in greeting** [will it be a handshake? fist bump? fist five? bro hug??] **I panic and punch him in the mouth**

asterios  FANCIEST NAMES:

-Sir Duke Dukeington (of the Dukeshire Dukeingtons)

-Hieronymus K. Taxachusetts

-Ralphie “Lah Dee Dah” Grimsby

NyAdas  “That’s wonderful dear” is my grandma’s version of “cool story bro”

JElvisWeinstein  The new iPad is ultra thin and it has 3 blades for a deep down shave.

Mr_Kapowski  Freshly washed cars are to birds as black pants are to cats

UncleDynamite  “Why did I make a seven hour workout playlist?” he groaned, as blood began to shoot out both his ankles.

sarcasmically  Morning, you are gross and should be ashamed of yourself.

WhirledRecord A bird flying into a man’s house to taunt him about the death of his wife? That’s So Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Raven”.

ThinkingSavage  My retirement plan is ‘Find a bag of money’, in case you were questioning my level of adulthood.

JElvisWeinstein  I wonder if people would vote if Batman were an elected position.

mitdasein  I keep getting Friendzoned by Quakers.

MommyMG  You know that old adage about how toast always falls butter-side down? It’s true for diapers also.

drewtoothpaste  There are probably thousands of people who are grateful and feel indebted that Adobe Flash Player continues to remind them to update.

louisvirtel  I’m not saying Taylor Swift is bland, but I said her name three times in a mirror and it shattered into a million Forever 21 gift cards.

BillMc7  Remember, it takes 48 muscles to type a YouTube comment, and 0 to shut the fuck up.

WhirledRecord  Laughter is the best medicine, unless your problem is frequent involuntary urination.

NicestHippo It’s important to learn from your mistakes. Probably. I don’t know, I’ve never tried

gobmentcheese  OMG, Journey just came on the radio! More like journey to Crap Town. Amirite, I say to the guy at the stoplight as he rolls up his window.

heyitsIsobel  DON’T DRINK CITY HALL AND DON’T DO DRUGS!

little big's tweet of the week 7840512222_52c55dd164_o

audipenny  “Come along, Trash Spaceship,” I say to my purse as we leave the house.

What is a Follow Friday post? It’s a blog series I created a few years ago based on a Twitter meme.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Would you like to be a guest photographer for Follow Friday? Email me!

Follow Friday: Hello, Fellow Youths

17 Oct

Today’s post features photos from my 30th birthday. I bought a new dress, had a ridiculously large dinner with just about every friend I had, and then came home to games and dining room that we had transformed into a photo booth. I should post photos of that because it was really cheap and easy and one of the best parts of the night. Anthony posed for lots of photos with his D&D buddies and then us D&D wives posed for our own photos and called ourselves the D&D widows. I borrowed a tripod, used some bright makeup lamps that belonged to my mother, and used a bolt of pink satin I bought at Valerie’s yard sale for a backdrop. So easy! I look at these photos and so much has changed. Back then Isobel was the same age Elias is now, and Angela was still pregnant with Kingston. It was a great day.

What is a Follow Friday post? It’s a blog series I created a few years ago based on a Twitter meme.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Would you like to be a guest photographer for Follow Friday? Email me!

OtherDanOBrien  “A horse with a long face walks into a bar. No, wait. Let me start over.” -My mom trying to tell a joke

DougEpisodes  Episode 285 “The Episode of Doug That is a Her Parody” – Doug falls in love with a computer that is running MS_DOS

TheAlexNevil  Truthful Tuesday: I love my wife very much.* *I saw Gone Girl and am taking no chances.

johnmoe  You think you know about computer. But does your web “site” have a 1-900 number? Hi. I’m Matt Damon, spokesman for towels.

corrinrenee  Mildly offended that the woman at Wendy’s said “see you tomorrow.”

libsnyds  When Michael Bublé is sad, does he call himself Michael Blueblé?

muffpunch  So I looked at the guy next to me and said “I play sports! All of them!” He moved to another chair.

povertyluxe  If i were to pick one object that was the exact opposite of me it would probably be a sports bra

UncleDynamite  I have the same expression as Jay-Z whenever I open an envelope from the IRS.

sbellelauren  i’d be more in favor of amazon wish lists if you could add your parking tickets to them

FunRossGeller  Let’s all celebrate Columbus Day by walking into someone’s house and telling them we live there now.

J__Swift  Canadians don’t want to publicize this, but the full name of Canadian Thanksgiving is Canadian Thanksgiving for Not Being American.

TheBloggess  If I can’t tell if you’re yelling at me or being sarcastic I just assume “sarcastic”, so if you’re insulting me please make it more obvious.

TheThomason  Cool Hand Luke, I’d like to introduce you to my good friend Hot Shart Hank.

wordlust  Seize the day. Kidnap the week. Throw the month in your basement pit.

PrettyAllTrue  Either we leave Home Depot in the next two minutes or I start singing Rammstein’s “Du Hast” at top volume. Fair warning.

beanmoriarty  When you’re v nerdy and everyone’s glasses fog up because of sex

Molly_Kats  I’m a need seven napkins kinda gal.

trumpetcake  WORLD’S BEST NIGHTLIFE CITIES: Nightlife City /Glo-Stickville /Fuddruckers® /Avery’s shed Texas, TX /Shrimp Cocktail Town /Bees Everywhere, MO

DrMaldoror  Photosynthesis is witchcraft by plants, basically. #ExplainScienceBadly

DamianVanore23  The North and South Poles Were Originally Named Poles Because We Were Looking For Poland Which We Found At A Later Date #ExplainScienceBadly

garwboy If you took every blood vessel in the human body and laid them end-to-end, that would be awful for all involved. #ExplainScienceBadly

garwboy  Dinosaurs evolved into birds because birds have greater access to free bread. #explainsciencebadly

paulcoxon  Richard of York deliberately lost the Battle of Wakefield to help schoolchildren remember the colours of a rainbow #ExplainScienceBadly

CherryMakes  The image on our retina is upside down. People in Australia have the opposite problem, so are able to walk on ceilings #ExplainScienceBadly

ekwetzel Shh. It’s a secret. The tank top I’m wearing under this cardigan is, like, 90% bleach stains.

TheThomason  Time to change the breakup phrase from “We need to talk” to “We need to go to IKEA.”

kerihw  Honey I Shrunk The Kids Oh They’re Meant To Be This Small OK No No You Go Out I’ll Be Fine With Them Really You Go Have Fun.

bigcitybelly  When Tristan is mad in the car he screams at the top of his lungs. But first he plugs his ears so he’s not bothered by the piercing sound.

introvertedwife  Cold and sweaty is a confusing fall occurrence.

NicestHippo  “Honestly, good call” – me, when someone decides not to hire or date me

Journalgirl  Ever lock yourself in a public restroom & need to wait for ppl to come in so u can ask for help getting the door open? Yeah, no, me either.

BeerforBukowski  The commentary tracks for all those cute cat videos are usually just the cats talking about wanting to eventually transition to directing.

 

mrshiggison  So Frozen is still a Thing in my house. At this point I’m either impressed at the dedication, or terrified of the future. #both #itsboth

OkieGirl405  Never once has Calgon taken me away when I’ve asked it to

Fred_Delicious My favorite song about prostate stimulation is “Massage in a butthole” by The Police

blankslate  “Why are you such a fucking douchebag?” These password reset questions are getting really tricky.

joeljeffrey  Im a vegetarian, but sometimes I eat fish, beef, pork, car tires, recycled computer parts, and styrofoam, but I’m still totally a vegetarian

shinyinfo  “Did a bug land on me or is my leg hair just blowing around?” -the Kristin LaLonde Story

biorhythmist  Had to apologize for calling someone a “duckfucker” (the evidence for my claim was largely circumstantial)

michaeljnelson  We only pass this way but once: best buy up all the mistakenly marked down ham before some other jackass gets it. And I don’t even like ham.

SomeChrisTweets  The McRib is back. The McRib is different. The McRib saw things of which it will not speak. The McRib does not recognize you as it once did.

J__Swift  In addition to a sympathetic ear I can offer a delightful kneecap, a caring belly button and an adoring spleen.

PinterestFake  Rustic and Beautiful gender announcement where you spell out the baby’s sex with burning tires on your friends’ front lawns

amydillon  I track my menstrual cycle by counting how many chocolate chip cookies I’ve eaten before noon on any given day.

asterios  ROMANCE TIP: Give “the gunfinger” to everyone! Eventually, someone will settle.

NickyDico  Guy you’re hooking up with has a tiny penis? He’s just not that into you.

MariaMelee  Last night in the car I gushed to both boys about how much they mean to me, and how much I love them. “Mama, can you turn the radio up now?”

andygreenwald  I thought I’d seen it all at Comic-Con and then I saw a guy in a Bane mask try and eat a chicken parm sandwich.

bumlaser  Simply enjoy a nutritious shake for breakfast, one for lunch and a healthy* dinner! *all of the food that ever was, or that ever will be.

thenomodellady  Thank God your #TBT was a picture from last week. I almost missed it. When you posted it. Last week.

errdayhustlah  “Don’t hate the player, hate the game.” I whisper as I prepare for hour 27 of Monopoly.

usedwigs Let me know if any of your dogs have learned how to talk because I’ve written 6 pretty good rap songs from the perspective of a rapping dog.

MrsTomServo  *takes photo of beautiful sunset* The Sun: “Let me see it.”

aparnapkin  I still don’t understand why “what’s wrong with you?” isn’t acceptable small talk

allisonthemeep Just found some Reese’s Pieces under the couch and treated them like the surprise gifts they were and ate them.

Jarhead44  Sometimes my dog just humps whatever’s in front of him. He gets that from me.

rstevens  I wouldn’t say I’m a Power User, but my computer crashes a *lot*

jordan_stratton  “So I heard you have unlimited breadsticks here?” said the nervous Olive Garden patron who kinda looks like 6 ducks in a trench coat.

ebrawley  Oh my god everyone, terrible news: Jay Leno has Ebola…material

timeblimp  Chemically identical to brake fluid #BadEnergyDrinkSlogans

amber_yel  It’s what plants crave #BadEnergyDrinkSlogans

rikpayne  If anyone in 1996 needs some computer cables, I just found a ball of them in my garage.

DanKCharnley i wish i got my money the old fashioned way: inheriting it from my father

tweetloose  Singing George Michael’s I Want Your Sex, but replacing “sex” with “snacks”

Akelaa  WHY ARE THERE SO MANY SONGS ABOUT RAINBOWS #TerribleBattleCries

Akelaa  WE ARE ALONE IN AN UNCARING UNIVERSE #TerribleBattleCries

danieljmckee  LETS FORM A COMMITTEE TO DISCUSS THESE ISSUES #TerribleBattleCries

christinefriar  may your enemies always discover the typos in their tweets a moment too late

KimKierkegaard  No carbs! Crazy workout! Not gonna complain anymore! Martyrdom is a glory beyond all comparison.

williamrandolph  In a sense we’re all constantly and desperately LARPing.

hope4ava  Spoiler alert: that butterfly tattoo will turn into Mothra after 3 pregnancies.

biorhythmist  The sommelier here is terrible and they’ve already stopped serving breakfast ???? (one out of four stars)

daniel_barker  47 Things You Never Knew About The Fairy People And Would Not Have Known To Ask And Will Not Be Permitted To Recall After Reading Them

daniel_barker  15 Things That Only People With Bubbling Pools Of Lava Where Their Eyes Should Be Will Understand

daniel_barker  22 Lemurs Who Actually Could Even, But Won’t

Rschooley  “It’s not even pumpkin that you are responding to! It’s cinnamon, nutmeg and ginger!” – Butternut squash, who has had enough.

annetdonahue  And by divorcing Robin Thicke, Paula has destroyed the second horcrux. (Remember: Dov from American Apparel getting fired was the first.)

introvertedwife  Columbus Day: one of those holidays you want to forget unless you’re selling mattresses or a car.

ModernSauce  “Don’t panic,” French Montana told me. And then I felt a peace wash over me unlike anything I’ve ever known.

kerihw  longing for there to be a hipster fashion trend for wearing bibs

Mr_Kapowski  Sorry I was following you in your Chevy for an hour but my daughter was connected to your car’s built in WiFi and watching Netflix.

libsnyds  My body is NSFW and that’s why I’m unemployed.

tinynietzsche This year’s most popular horseman of the apocalypse costumes: sexy pestilence /sexy war /sexy famine /sexy death

VaguelyFunnyDan  If I’m being honest, you playin’ is only one of the many reasons that the humorous picture can’t be us. I’m willing to own my part in it.

wonderella  I am not going to do a Halloween twitter name, because a lack of consistent branding is the real monster

Cheeseboy22  Red Ribbon Week is always a great opportunity for my first grade students to start telling me stories about why their uncles are in prison.

sarcasmically  Got some workout pants covered in ice cream cone print. So I have a reminder of why I’m doing this.

Jake_Vig  What does less: Pressing “close door” button on elevator, or clicking “unsubscribe” link?

adamrensch  Please Don’t Do That, Sir: A Gentleman’s Guide To Being Murdered

jordan_stratton  Me: “Crazy how those three little words can turn my whole day around.” Waitress: “Guac is free?” Me: *swoon*

lawblob  all this Ebola panic is crazy. you’re actually 1000% more likely to die in a car accident on the way to the Ebola store

janedavis: “Paleo is for the weak. I only eat single-celled organisms I find in ponds. I’m calling Protero and I’m going to get RICH.”

shayf_  My dad and his wife printed their vows in Comic Sans so I’m pretty sure it’s not a valid marriage.

little big's tweet of the week 7840512222_52c55dd164_o

shinyinfo  Do you know who else was in the murder bidness? Jessica Fletcher.

What is a Follow Friday post? It’s a blog series I created a few years ago based on a Twitter meme.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Would you like to be a guest photographer for Follow Friday? Email me!

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