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Follow Friday: This Is Halloween

31 Oct

Happy Halloween! Have a great weekend!

What is a Follow Friday post? It’s a blog series I created a few years ago based on a Twitter meme.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Would you like to be a guest photographer for Follow Friday? Email me!

JerryThomas  Eventually, we’ll all be dead on the inside on the outside, too.

rstevens   do the Germans have a word for the relief you feel when you are outbid on eBay?

morninggloria   Hoping this year I see some really great sexy penis Halloween costumes.

annetdonahue   The only true sex symbol is Prince’s.

annetdonahue   Lassie? What is it boy? What is it? Is it… about ethics in gaming journalism?

palinode  Marvel is making a Black Panther movie! Probably get Benedict Cumberbatch for that one too.

beanmoriarty  People who like to run: how?

tinynietzsche  Sleeping giant spiders eat eight humans a year, but you don’t see them whining about it

cloudypianos  Murder, She Cross-Stitched

redherringbear  State of Affairs? You mean California?

InfiniteChicken  Ability to make all blue things tan for a few microseconds #LameSuperpowers

InfiniteChicken  Invisible feet #LameSuperpowers

TrivWorks  Power to tweet the same thing twice Power to tweet the same thing twice #LameSuperpowers

InfiniteChicken  Ability to teleport Julio Lopez, 42, of Cuernavaca, anywhere you want him. #LameSuperpowers

InternetEh  This Friendsgiving will be Mexican food. We have dubbed it Cinco de Gracias.

kerihw  Writing tip: Your characters should always be in conflict maybe one always pushing custard pies into another one’s face.

madcaplaughs30  Your test results came back. Double negative. I’m so sorry.

Home_Halfway  “Kenny log-ins!” ~ Kenny Loggins every time he signs into a website

EmilyHenryWrite  When you’re grieving, you’re actually supposed to wear the same clothes you’re always supposed to wear: your flannel Christmas pjs.

libsnyds  can’t wait to talk to some kids at a career day someday so i can tell them that the most important thing is to have a snack drawer

GlancesNods  Pull my finger. #UselessMedicalAlertBracelets

DrMaldoror  THANKS, OBAMA. #UselessMedicalAlertBracelets

timeblimp  No Scrubs #UselessMedicalAlertBracelets

DrMaldoror  I tampered in God’s domain. #UselessMedicalAlertBracelets

baconlvr23   Update my check-in status on Facebook to ER. #UselessMedicalAlertBracelets

Spatula8   Please see my drug allergies on my anklet. #UselessMedicalAlertBracelets

dennis_raggs  I voted #UselessMedicalAlertBracelets

heymermaid  Life Hack: Literally every Benedict Cumberbatch role becomes 10x better if you imagine Indira Varma playing that role instead

MrsTomServo  Stumbled upon an Internet argument that ended in apologies & mutual respect, and maybe I didn’t survive that car crash?

BeTheBoy  How long do you think the line would be for a Punch Donald Trump Booth?

johnmoe  Needed to Google something about Duran Duran and typed both the Durans just so you know you’re following a smart guy.

gobmentcheese  Are you there God; it’s me Margaret Ann Estevez De Las Acosta Ortiz Del Toro Sanchez la Espinosa.

biorhythmist I try to eat one big meal throughout the day

SeanOfUT  My dance crew gave me a new name. They changed it from No CoordinaSean to InspiraSean since I inspire others to take proper dance lessons.

danforthfrance Promoted tweet for the Saturday Night Live MasterCard, I am reporting you as offensive.

shinyinfo  I eat at IHOP for their clever tweets! Def. not because they’re the only place open around here after 10 PM.

jillgengler  Getting emails to my 8 year old, encouraging him to learn to “crack cyphers.” This is the kid who gets the fridge and the freezer confused.

ImAmandaNelson  My kingdom for a creepy, drugged-out Lorde Christmas album

 

hellolanemoore “i think i look my sexiest when i’m getting ready for bed in the winter” –no one

markleggett  With her final breath, the last teenage survivor of the apocalypse whispers “We were wrong… Our parents were… actually very cool and funny…”

Molly_Kats  I’d pay someone an obscene amount of money to put my duvet cover on for me.

LaurelKS  More jam thumbprints. I could make these in my sleep. And I wish I would. Then I could have them for breakfast.

louisvirtel  Right now Taylor Swift is feeling like a bad-ass about releasing an album on a school night.

sarcasticvoice  “I don’t think gravy train is that important”–what I overheard my roommate saying/sign I should get my ears checked

adamrensch  weird how i can play piano but can’t make a tweet without s atupsid typo

libsnyds  VOTED MOST TOPICAL TWEET OF OCTOBER 2014: the pumpkin spice latte gave creepy rob lowe ebola

Rikidus  This year for Halloween I’m going 20 pounds heavier.

shot_of_cabo  The fault lies not in our stars, But in out manual RTs.

andrewmorrisey  I can’t believe I made it through today. Or any of the other days.

Nathanpehler  Don’t Answer the Phone, It’s Probably a Telemarketer #RejectedHorrorFilms

Slumber_Partay  Children of the Korn Concert #RejectedHorrorFilms

Nathanpehler  The Six Cents #RejectedHorrorFilms

timeblimp   That’s One Ruthless Pelican #RejectedHorrorFilms

HyenaEars  “we’re not so different, you and I” [talking to towel that is draped over the sofa]

cloudypianos  Someone called me from a private number at one in the morning. I think it was Tom Hardy.

usedwigs Just fixed my vacuum using a rake. I’m both proud and ashamed.

KarenKilgariff  “Homeless gondolier, civil war fife player, sad Annie Hall, The Crow’s anorexic brother, fedora dick” -how LA brunch waitresses remember you

EmilyHenryWrite  Considering Mary was, like, 13 when she gave birth, we’re really lucky Jesus wasn’t named Jeauxlenaydelynn.

BugginWord  Clean up on aisle me.

daemonic3  Oh, this tattoo? No, it’s not Chinese characters. It’s my name and order from my last Starbucks cup.

testicleas  They call me DJ Vu because I play every song twice.

jonnysun  my phone autocorected “im bored” to “im boring” and i was like, yeah

GrantTanaka kicking mom’s belly inside her womb: adorable

kicking mom’s belly outside her womb: felony

papasuncle  I don’t just love bread, I knead it.

JessObsess  I say, “I’m starving” a lot for someone who can live off their fat deposits for 3 months or more.

RailbirdJ I just an Amish man reading the newspaper while he was driving a buggy. We don’t need technology to be stupid.

Ash_ruda  If i had a dollar for every time i thought about you… I’d start thinking about you

amy_wood  “Um, I was promised spooktacular savings” – me to the drugstore cashier

MrsTomServo  Base your band name on popular web searches. Take it from us, The Windsor Knot Tutorials (formerly Do Black People Get Sunburns).

InternetEh  For some reason “sausaging” is a word in my phone and I don’t know why

Toaster_Pastry  While you were wasting time on Twitter I was busy taking a nap.

markleggett Today I intervened in a duck/duck fight, then I prevented a duck/cat fight. This is exactly what I thought my life would turn out to be.

BeTheBoy  If I hadn’t updated my phone I could use @slackmistress charger. I reached too far! This is just like those plays by that British guy.

SocialExtortion  Every time a burrito falls apart on me I’m like “same”

theleanover  The secret to my success? My galoshes are filled with New England clam chowder! (Success rate: 0%)

FrankTheDoorman  You can only get Ebola through the exchange of bodily fluids, so if you contract Ebola in a bowling alley, you have other issues to resolve.

morninggloria  CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE WON THE INTERNET! (hands you your prize, the internet, which is a box of rats eating each other’s faces)

drewtoothpaste  City of Columbus did not approve my traveling Halloween attraction “Haunted Honda”. Who ran into it so much? Ghosts. They’re ghost dents

StanCarey  Verbing weirds language but adjectivising is where things get really suffixy.

kerihw  Went to Subway. Can’t handle it. Too many decisions to make. Do you want this, do you want that, mate I’m not even sure I wanted children.

donni  Work hard, play soft as shit due to exhaustion from working hard

biorhythmist  “Well there’s some things you should know: first off, if you see gum on the street, leave it there. It’s not free candy.”

Smug_Lemur  I’ve already run out of Halloween candy. That’s two days ahead of schedule. Well done, me.

1followernodad  My vision board is just the wrappers from 8 different kinds of artisanal sharp Vermont cheddar cheeses.

mitdasein  Figured out my Halloween costume. I just need a hospital gown that closes poorly in the back.

libsnyds  Can’t wait for Easter so I can make a topical Eggbola joke.

waferbaby Tried to book an “abdominable ultrasound” instead of an “abdominal ultrasound.”

ramenfuneral  do your ears hang low? do they wobble to and fro? are you a victim of medical malpractice? you may be entitled to compensation

sbellelauren  i’m awake! please respect my privacy during this very difficult time

CornOnTheGoblin

Taaaake onnn beeees

[Take on bees]

Taaaake beeeees onnn

[Take on bees]

Ooouch I’m stuuuuung

Too many Beeeeees

heyguyscameron  ANOTHER first date ruined by an old lady pointing at me and screaming EL DIABLO

nice_mustard  before mcdonald’s i bet “don’t buy cheeseburgers from a clown” was a pretty hard and fast rule

CallMeDraper  Oxford Dictionary in the streets. Urban Dictionary in the sheets.

 

little big's tweet of the week 7840512222_52c55dd164_o

Cheeseboy22  I’d actually love riding the It’s a Small World ride if the dolls sang Paradise City.

What is a Follow Friday post? It’s a blog series I created a few years ago based on a Twitter meme.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Would you like to be a guest photographer for Follow Friday? Email me!

 

 

Follow Friday: Backyard Beekeeping

24 Oct

Today’s post features the beehive Anthony’s cousin Depeche kept a few years ago. Have a great weekend!

What is a Follow Friday post? It’s a blog series I created a few years ago based on a Twitter meme.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Would you like to be a guest photographer for Follow Friday? Email me!

SadieSmithRoks Not a lot of people know this, but if you dress up like a pirate and go into Red Lobster, you eat for free.

LaurelKS  Each one of my yearbooks was signed by a librarian because I am way cooler than you.

jneeley78   We were promised jetpacks, and instead we got the band We Were Promised Jetpacks.

SomeChrisTweets  Parents, remember to check your child’s Halloween candy for dangers. You never know when some psychopath will tamper treats with gluten.

sween  Witch King: “No man can kill me.” Eowyn: “I am no man.” [Stabs him] Witch King: [Shrieks] “GAMERGATE IS ABOUT JOURNALISTIC ETHICS!” [Dies]

kerihw  sometimes i think it would be cool to have a friend but then i remember not having dips all to myself

johnmoe  What I do: – McConaughey commercial comes on – Mute – Narrate own version in McC voice about trying to find a “yogurt-in-a-hat restaurant”

iboudreau  Jose Cuervo’s motto is “Have a story.” My story is that I told my roommate to throw me into a hedge and then I puked on my shoes.

shinyinfo  My and @vforrestal friendship is founded in a deep well of poop jokes.

michaeljnelson  Life hack: go into a cheese shop, eat as much cheese as you can till the cops come then claim, “I thought they were free samples!”

iboudreau  Wasn’t watching the game but I think I just heard a tuba singing “God Bless America.”

tinatbh  A black heart emoji is seriously needed.

brookeperrin  An adult man asked me if it was “that time” today and now I don’t know what to do with this body.

ibid78  My anaconda didn’t want this. He didn’t want any of this.

introvertedwife  I suspect I could go full Darmok with nothing but Simpsons and Futurama quotes. Fry’s dog, in the lava, dolomite baby.

GianDoh  I got more hang-ups than a Bangalore telemarketer.

Thndrdomesticty   I bought linked hotdogs today in hopes that a dog will steal them from the grill and run away, bringing every old childhood cartoon to life.

johnmoe   My favorite Led Zeppelin song is “Hard Lovin’ Sex Hobbit Woman”.

InfiniteChicken   I cut my hand on the jagged lid while opening a can of whupass.

shutupmikeginn  Wow that’s now 9 therapists in a row that have fallen in love with me but are too chicken to admit it

ntabebe  My favorite part of the Iliad is the extended conversation about how SNL hasn’t been any good in years

theleanover  I bet when Breaking Bad producers saw Aaron Paul was in a movie called Need For Speed they said “That is a way better title for our show.”

sbellelauren if a wood chuck could chuck wood i would never stop screaming

InternetEh  The office fixed the phones so we can now get incoming calls. Dammit.

FlyoverJoel  I’ve reached the point in my life where “Do not go gentle into that good night” means staying up until 9:15 watching Network television.

PrettyAllTrue Torn between wanting to get rid of this horrific cough and luxuriating in the increased amount of personal space the cough affords me.

moooooog35  I don’t know what all these chairs are lined up for in our lobby but I’m preparing an acceptance speech just in case.

joshgondelman  A perfect name for a dog is Dog Stevens.

loather  Human beings were not meant to be awake before the sun. Why are you trying to show up the sun.

HelloCullen  New Yogurt That Instantly Makes You Shit Your Pants Targeted at Women

donni  At Motel 6, they leave the light on for you because they like to watch

weinerdog4life  “You’re free now” I whisper as I throw my trombone into the ocean

markleggett  Just had a chat with a co-worker that saved me 15 minutes of email writing. I’m working smarter not harder, plus I got to hear my own voice!

wordlust  My safeword is “Midterm elections!”

wheatandsky  If I were to ever get a classic Mom tattoo it would just be a big heart with the word Soup.

 

burritojustice  oh boo the eclipse will finish before 3rd World Series game starts, was hoping we could rattle Royals with our ability to control the sky

notbedelia  White girls, it’s time we tell the truth. It’s not that we can’t even, we just won’t even.

DanKCharnley  no one has it as bad as donald trump’s washcloth

UncleDynamite  When you’re 75 & reprising your greatest hits at state fairs, that’s when you’ll be glad each song has 30 references to the word “booty.”

chezseamus I think I heard someone on the train this morning call their kid “Ethernet”

rstevens  Sir, economic forecasts indicate a $9 billion per year market for bolognas with a hole in them. You simply MUST greenlight Project Fleshloaf

slackmistress  You don’t need to love me, just hate the people I hate.

Laser_Cat  Sorry, grandma. You stood up. You have to be Slim Shady now.

HeathRobots  Yarn balls is my new favorite curse.

xtop  seems unfair I can’t rate a movie on itunes with a farting emoji

cloudypianos My animals look so tired like they ever fucking do anything.

senderblock23  Want to feel old? Yesterday was three days ago

david8hughes  [personal trainer] “So what do you want to achieve from our sessions?” “I just want to be strong enough to throw my son into space.”

Sickayduh  Welcome to Rhythm Nation Yoga Studio. I’m Janet. Miss Jackson if ya namaste.

kerihw  ED SCISSORHANDS: This group is a safe place. FRED KRUEGER: You can talk here. WOLVERINE: It’s just .. I keep catching them on curtains.

fart  if you work at babies r us it’s a good idea to say “i work at babies r us, but I am not a baby, myself”

man_spach  I don’t always wear a cape but when I do it’s my hospital gown turned backwards as I’m being forcibly discharged.

Ninja_Soup_  I, too, am indifferent to what Jimmy does or doesn’t do with his corn.

donni  Landlords are the most common type of royalty

 

islandofapples  My husband cleaned the garage last week and now every time we come home we think we’ve been robbed.

pontiuslabar  In your query letter, mention you’re willing to commit a high-profile crime just prior to your pub date.

cloudypianos  My idea of excitement is hitting the snooze twenty times then doing my equivalent of a decathlon to get ready in ten minutes.

PeachCoffin  Has anyone ever seen Rachael Ray and R2D2-wearing-a-wig-and-wielding-a-cheap-chef’s-knife in the same room together

libsnyds  “E.V.O.O. stands for Extra Virgin Olive Oil.” -Rachael Ray’s tombstone, probably

J__Swift  braaaaaaiiiiiddddsssss – zombie with a cold.

kellyasterisk  Before bed every night I try and visualise in slow motion doing a summersault and it’s so challenging to do that I fall asleep right away.

rstevens  if you see my clone, that shit owes me money

farwent  The Germans must have a word for the particular disappointment one feels upon seeing their tweet just got a fave but not a RT.

littlestp123  girls are attracted to guys with veiny arms because girls like guys with lots of blood. good for harvesting

rstevens  Productivity tip: Never have any problems, ever

twelveyearsold  *makes pug noises walking up a slight incline*

cloudypianos  My miniature hand drum brings all the boys to my yard and they’re like “please stop doing that”.

MassageByTed  I hate getting that “Dick Not Ejected Properly” message when I haven’t even taken my dick out of the computer yet.

kerihw  shall i compare thee to a summer’s day thou art covered in wasps

MelissaStetten  Went through a haunted house that was actually an airport full of people coughing on me.

TheRedQueen  For a brief moment I thought about wrapping my besties birthday presents. But then I had a good laugh and slapped that shit in a gift bag.

wordlust  The enemy of my enemy is my evil twin’s nemesis.

 

swollenvoice You’re not beautiful on the inside. I’ve taken anatomy classes. Pretty gross stuff.

ibid78  It just took me four swipes of my debit card to get it in right, if you’re wondering how precise and attentive a lover I am.

sbellelauren  boy i sure am anxious today better have a 5th cup of coffee

BruceForce  I agree with my friends that twitter is no substitute for real world interaction. Hope they got my text.

SamuelMoen  You know you’re “socially awkward” when you try to have a conversation with someone and the only thing that comes out of your mouth is blood

FeedItComics Hulu was named after Cthulhu.

Pumpkinbabypie  Starting to feel a little bit sorry for the treble.

TheBosha  **younger man approaches in greeting** [will it be a handshake? fist bump? fist five? bro hug??] **I panic and punch him in the mouth**

asterios  FANCIEST NAMES:

-Sir Duke Dukeington (of the Dukeshire Dukeingtons)

-Hieronymus K. Taxachusetts

-Ralphie “Lah Dee Dah” Grimsby

NyAdas  “That’s wonderful dear” is my grandma’s version of “cool story bro”

JElvisWeinstein  The new iPad is ultra thin and it has 3 blades for a deep down shave.

Mr_Kapowski  Freshly washed cars are to birds as black pants are to cats

UncleDynamite  “Why did I make a seven hour workout playlist?” he groaned, as blood began to shoot out both his ankles.

sarcasmically  Morning, you are gross and should be ashamed of yourself.

WhirledRecord A bird flying into a man’s house to taunt him about the death of his wife? That’s So Edgar Allen Poe’s “The Raven”.

ThinkingSavage  My retirement plan is ‘Find a bag of money’, in case you were questioning my level of adulthood.

JElvisWeinstein  I wonder if people would vote if Batman were an elected position.

mitdasein  I keep getting Friendzoned by Quakers.

MommyMG  You know that old adage about how toast always falls butter-side down? It’s true for diapers also.

drewtoothpaste  There are probably thousands of people who are grateful and feel indebted that Adobe Flash Player continues to remind them to update.

louisvirtel  I’m not saying Taylor Swift is bland, but I said her name three times in a mirror and it shattered into a million Forever 21 gift cards.

BillMc7  Remember, it takes 48 muscles to type a YouTube comment, and 0 to shut the fuck up.

WhirledRecord  Laughter is the best medicine, unless your problem is frequent involuntary urination.

NicestHippo It’s important to learn from your mistakes. Probably. I don’t know, I’ve never tried

gobmentcheese  OMG, Journey just came on the radio! More like journey to Crap Town. Amirite, I say to the guy at the stoplight as he rolls up his window.

heyitsIsobel  DON’T DRINK CITY HALL AND DON’T DO DRUGS!

little big's tweet of the week 7840512222_52c55dd164_o

audipenny  “Come along, Trash Spaceship,” I say to my purse as we leave the house.

What is a Follow Friday post? It’s a blog series I created a few years ago based on a Twitter meme.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Would you like to be a guest photographer for Follow Friday? Email me!

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