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Follow Friday: Flowers by the Sea

26 Sep

Today’s post features photos I took on the California coast. Have a great weekend!

What is a Follow Friday post? It’s a blog series I created a few years ago based on a Twitter meme.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Would you like to be a guest photographer for Follow Friday? Email me!

MightyHunter  Wait, Hodor was US Attorney General?

goodinthestacks  is the quest for every pokemon more important than actually getting them

jerryRenek  Be smart. Think ahead. Buy pants at least three sizes too big.

ChrisGethard  My plan for today is either change the world or fuck around in this coffee shop and get nothing done.

DrWrought  I know I’m a little drunk, but this perm I found on Pinterest seems pretty legit

MassageByTed  Bumper sticker: It’s trash night somewhere

shariv67  If you are a Christian who has tomorrow’s Jewish holiday off, maybe see a movie and get some Chinese food.

norcross  I’ve reached a point in my life, in both age and marriage, where the phrase “looks like you need some Vitamin D” is not a euphemism.

heiditron3000  Good cop: We’re willing to help you out if you tell us who’s in charge of the cartel. Bad cop: BARRY, I GOT MY HEAD STUCK IN MY GUN AGAIN

rzarosco  OMG im so sorry i just got that voicemail now do you still want me to go to that mighty mighty bosstones concert in 1997?

trumpetcake  Every time I see someone wearing Ugg boots I pretend they’re trying to hide a pair of hooves.

HelloCullen  SEX! Now that I have your attention, stop having sex in here. This is an Arby’s.

tooaquarius  Kiddo has career day at the high school. She’s been dragged to too many conferences because she was wondering about the swag

BtotheD  Here’s my million dollar idea. A ringtone that sounds like a phone on vibrate mode. So you never have to worry about silencing it.

nice_sugar_girl  “Yeah baby. They’re real.” *seductively strokes eyebrows*

MommyMG  Me: Do you know my blood type? Husband: No, do you know mine? Me: No. Him: I’ll just write ‘kool aid’ on your medical forms if necessary

islandofapples  Saw a guy who looks like my biological father & only tweets about sex. So if you need me, I’ll be over here pouring Liquid Draino in my eyes

man_spach  I cry every time I watch The Notebook because my wife always elbows me in the groin when I fall asleep.

NicestHippo  [thoughts of person talking to me]: He’s furrowing his brow, he must really be listening! [my brain]: How do cows make cheese

JustinMcElroy  Gotham should change its name to Batman Minus Batman

CK1Blogs  next week on agents of shield captain america is like how did this u2 album get on my iphone and bono is like hail hydra

SeanBlazed  Philosophical Thought of the Day: if a tree falls in the woods, I could probably lift it. no big deal *kisses biceps*

SpaghettiJesus  Once there is no one left alive to kill the very last person, we will have succeeded at politics.

mydmac  *puts salt and pepper in shopping cart, pushes real good

bucketcullen  The word “crematorium” has no right sounding so delicious

kcmoore51  All I’m sayin is that if we work together then we can definitely both fit in your yoga pants at the same time. C’mere.

jerryRenek  If Kenny Chesney’s and Tim McGraw’s cowboy hats got into a fight, which one would prematurely ejaculate first?

BeTheBoy It’s almost 9PM and I’m planning to leave the house. It’s for a very good reason but still. I could be watching TV.

SocialExtortion  I’m not saving the date you son of a bitch

shinyinfo  Time for some DARK CONFESSIONS. When you tell me to “Say hi” to somebody for you, I never do!!!!

louisvirtel  Can’t wait to hear Gwen Stefani’s advice for singers on “The Voice”: “Try sounding more like a sexy crying baby.”

theleanover  working on my night poops / shouldn’t have had all that coffee / night poops / man, that was a lot of dairy

TheBlackStar Kingston is outside playing, essentially LARPing minecraft since he is not inside playing it.

rzarosco  The nice way to say someone died is “they’ve passed on”. I like “they took a wrong turn into deathtown and now they are a goblin” better

BunmiLaditan  Kids are like sponges. They smell bad.

badbanana  Seeing candy corn flavored food items everywhere. Folks, candy corn barely works as a flavor for candy corn.

theDoug  Things I have Googled with sincerity lately: “half-nude milkman,” “poems about destiny,” and “vegan fish ham.” Sorry.

behindyourback  Pac-Man’s just trying to eat everything he possibly can and get out of the party before any of the ghosts dudes can corner & talk to him.

MommyMG  “Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse oven sleigh” says the 4 yr old. That Christmas carol turned grim quickly.

shutupmikeginn  I was a mentally ill homeless alcoholic until that fateful day when the man in a blazer said, “get a job pal.”

zachreinert03  I HAVE DRANK ENOUGH CAFFEINE THIS MORNING TO KILL A SMALL HORSE RIP SNICKERS YOU WERE A LOYAL TEST SUBJECT

libsnyds  you should reserve twitter handles for your future children now. it would suck to be the parent of @b3an1e_bby_285 and @lisa1983509813

nevesytrof  “What’s for pudding?” “Pudding.” “But what’s for pudding?” “Pudding.” – How I imagine 7pm in England is every single day.

nicfit75  Nothing prepared me for how long parenting would require me to hold a straight face.

kerihw  which friends character are you I am joey because I too have killed and will kill again

Smethanie  I’m at the stage in my life where making poor weekend life choices means I adopted another animal and not that I got black-out drunk.

Jake_Vig  As you can see from this graph, some lines go up, while others go down. As I see there are no questions, this ends my presentation.

introvertedwife  Remember when “flag burning” was one of the big debate issues? God, we were so young.

TySmithdrums  Many years have passed since the incident and still my father refuses to return my nose.

vforrestal  “Bitch doesn’t think I know Pinterest? I’ve only got one of the most popular cross stitch boards in North America!” – thing I actually said.

MBSecretTweet  Good news! Last week was eaten by a lion. We don’t have to do it again.

michaeljnelson  I’m pretty sure everything about Dracula has been told. So “Dracula Untold” MUST be a movie about his prostate exam.

MariaMelee Had a weird Taco Bell craving and got some and in related news I probably won’t crave Taco Bell ever again.

UncleDynamite  ‘Jellyfish’ is a much nicer name than ‘vindictive phlegm.

UncleDynamite  The first human to eat an octopus must have been in the last stages of starvation.

mollymcnearney  My two month old is binge watching the ceiling fan.

cloudypianos  Relationship status: stuck between my bed and my wall

annetdonahue  When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that’s a hallucination.

jazmasta  Who called it confronting ur husband Stanley about flirty texts from a girl named Rebecca from a former soviet state and not Who’sbeckystan?

sbellelauren  i don’t think anyone’s going to be allowed to wear white at my wedding

Fun_Beard  Cats are great because when they sense you’re sad they will put their asshole right in your face.

weinerdog4life  George Washington was our first president but did you know he also invented lizards

farwent  Having a smartphone that works is every bit as wonderful and unfulfilling as I dreamed it would be.

PeachCoffin  According to WebMD I’m an infinitesimal scrap of organic matter in a ceaseless and undiscerning cosmos

SCbchbum  I swear to god if this girl doesn’t get my coffee order right I’m gonna tip her, drink it anyway & be back again tomorrow.

man_spach  I’m not a baby I just cry a lot.

 

PrettyAllTrue Am at the point where I might be lured into a stranger’s van by the promise of a nap.

goodinthestacks  when I see little kids throwing a tantrum and like YOU DONT EVEN KNOW

VaguelyFunnyDan  It’s a mistake to unfollow me now just because of the last year of super-shitty tweets. That only means I’m due.

BoobsRadley  I’ve been in San Francisco for an hour and six people have tried to get me to “add avocado for $3.” Haven’t even been to a restaurant yet.

TheRedQueen  At the mailbox store an old man randomly shouted “maybe God will come earlier!” And then outside a dude tried to sell me a bottle of lotion.

RexHuppke  Just saw a bunch of white pumpkins sipping human spice lattes.

annetdonahue  BAWL SO HARD MOTHERFUCKERS GONNA ASK IF I’M OKAY AND IF THEY SHOULD CALL SOMEONE

sarahblackstock  I’m in the mood for saltines. That seems sad.

MandiHarris  My Friday night plans? Wearing my retainer for the first time in three months. The pain will make me feel alive.

bucketcullen  A big, hungover mess on the streets and a snoring kick monster in the sheets

annetdonahue  “Yes, your Honour, I have a few questions. The first… ARE YOU OR ARE YOU NOT A FLUFFY BOY” The cat is silent. “YOU’RE UNDER OATH.”

joshjs  I’m gonna try just letting people like the things they like, without comment. I know this is against the rules.

rstevens  We in New England are extremely proud of how we left Old England, but in our hubris we allowed ourselves to be conquered by Dunkin’ Donuts

mat  What? iPhone 6? No, you petulant little asshole, I’m already in line for the iPhone 7, which doesn’t come out for two years. Enjoy your toy.

joshgondelman  “The killer in me is the killer in you. Hi, I’m Billy Corgan, and you know what isn’t a Siamese dream? Heart disease.”

BeardSpice *spits out coffee* T SHIRTS ARE SHAPED LIKE THE LETTER T

JakeSocial  Using an umbrella is the closest I ever get to camping.

DrWrought  nobody pets a donkey like Maria

ScrewyDecimal I would say that I feel like a glorified babysitter at work right now, but there is no glory here. There is no glory.

msdanifernandez I wish there was a way I could unfollow someone I disagree with on here. I guess I’ll just have to write on all their posts instead.

aimlessamers  When Cheech and Chong split up, I wonder if they had to fight for joint custody.

amydillon 1) Puts on workout clothes. 2) Drops kid at gym childcare. 3) Sits in the locker room cleaning out my purse.

amydillon  The nervous anticipation of a first date, but for finding out what my toddler has been doing while I’ve been in the bathroom.

libsnyds  Every Christmas Dido wears a sweater that says “NOEL” and every Christmas she gets frustrated that no one laughs at her joke.

shinyinfo  Garfield and Gonzo shaped me as a person. A lazy weird person.

Patheticist  If hitchhikers’ signs just assured me that they didn’t smell I would stop more often.

AnemoneHegemony  You only have one childhood, son. Remember every moment. Your damaging memories will fuel the neurosis that shall sustain your creativity.

sfreeze6  Feed a fever. Starve a cold. Asphyxiate the sniffles. Put a sore throat in a headlock. Legdrop hepatitis. Publicly ridicule the mumps.

DaveTheAlbino  I always wanted to be just like Flo Rida. That’s why I changed my name to “New Ham Sure”

tweet of the week

 

joshjs  Vote with your wallet! Throw your empty-ass wallet at the candidate you dislike most.

What is a Follow Friday post? It’s a blog series I created a few years ago based on a Twitter meme.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Would you like to be a guest photographer for Follow Friday? Email me!

Follow Friday – Poppy Dress

19 Sep

Today’s post features photos of a younger Isobel in our garden. Have a great weekend!

What is a Follow Friday post? It’s a blog series I created a few years ago based on a Twitter meme.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Would you like to be a guest photographer for Follow Friday? Email me!

markleggett  One of my co-workers looks sad. Good.

what if god was one of us & he rode his bike to work & he carried a thermos of chicken soup for lunch & he said BALLS when he dropped things.

robfee  Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before xanex, how did we end up in Des Moines?

Cheeseboy22  Apparently my 6yo old son went to school with a Spiderman costume under his clothes. The students of McKinley Elementary were safe today.

michaeljnelson  I trust that M. Night Shyamalan, Moon Unit Zappa and Cuba Gooding Jr. will have a child together named Good Night Moon Shyamalan.

kerihw  *from deep inside a black hole, pulses of energy are detected by the dish array. they are transmitting a message* DID U GET MY TXT LUV MUM X

biorhythmist Try my new diet where you eat whatever you want, then hold a baby goat.

louisvirtel  Every time something bad happens to Avril Lavigne, Kristen Stewart is one step closer to an Oscar-winning biopic role.

kerihw  for any americans confused about the great british bake off, this is like our monster trucks

dubouchet  I am probably not a cactus! (my therapist told me to write some phrases that I can say to myself to reinforce self-esteem)

morninggloria  my signature dance move is saying “i hate dancing!” while I do the Sarcastic Robot

rstevens  I need more coffee ports in order to distribute it more evenly throughout the body

CohenDS  As a child, he was bitten by a radioactive man. Then… slowly… He turned into a man. He is… MANMAN

cmdeb  In a debate between McCain and Rand, I choose herpes.

UncleDynamite  If you’ve never seen them, the law says you have to refer to them as alleged nipples.

Molly_Kats  When I don’t know what’s going I just start screaming.

mylittlebecky One favorite thing about babies is when they look politely impressed with their own farts.

amandaha  5 second rule: eat the chocolate chip you drop fast or else you will think it is a little poop.

nedwards  *staring down at the corpse of Frankenstein’s monster* “Perhaps man is the real monster” *voice from back of peasant mob* “not all men!”

UncleDynamite  You have no idea how grateful dogs are that their spacecraft crash-landed on a planet populated almost entirely by dog poop baggers.

jennyvsjenny  also whoever named it enterovirus d68 instead of d69 really missed an opportunity there

donni  The plural of footloose is feetleese

BeTheBoy Did you ever know that you’re my hero? P.S. – I was being sarcastic.

LisaMcIntire  “ugh skip the story and get to the money shot” — me reading food blogs

Molly_Kats  Does my mom count as a stalker

josephesque  Oh, ignore Chuck. He’s just going through his terrible 36s.

AstroKatie  Sometimes when everything is terrible I think at least I’m not a Boltzmann brain popping into existence in the primordial quark-gluon plasma

Teowulf  What do we want? TIME TRAVEL When do we want it? FIVE YEARS AGO!

Cheeseboy22  They had me at the “Honey Bunches of” but lost me at the “oats.”

madball911  If I had to work as hard as my AC the last few weeks, I’d be dead.

wordlust  My parents made me into an abusive monster, and I turned out fine.

Smug_Lemur  “At least you have each other,” I say to the two halves of an Oreo before devouring them, bitterly.

robdelaney  Thank god my toenails aren’t as long as they were in my dream last night! But my wife really is on Catalina Island with my karate teacher :(

LIFECOACHERS Be a beacon of positivity in the workplace so your co-workers can have someone on which to focus all their hatred.

Smug_Lemur  Him: What is this Twitter thing all about? Me: Kinda like this *types BOOBS on a calculator app*

trumpetcake  I am a master of “Human Origami.” I work the streets. I get the crowd hyped. “M’am, watch as I fold your baby into a swan.”

 

han_nahj  Today’s outfit choice is 100% influenced by how similar it is to sweatpants.

isplotchy  Based on my recent experience, the Greek philosopher Socrates is not only alive, but also actively searching for his name on Twitter.

FlyoverJoel  You don’t have to go out there and be a role model today, but let’s try not being a life lesson.

danforthfrance  I’ve been feeding my cat food that promises “intense beauty” and YOU SHOULD SEE THIS BITCH TONIGHT HACHI MACHI

UncleDynamite  “Paleo” is a prefix meaning “you’ve run out of meaningful things to say or do.”

owlparliament  true love is mostly about finding someone to stay up late with you while you worry about money

jeb  You know what they say sunlight is the best disinfectant. Laughter is the best medicine. Welcome to Outside Joke Hospital. You will die here

UncleDynamite  At the pet store. By what criterion does one choose a parrot? Thigh gap?

vforrestal  The level of discourse I sometimes try to achieve with my cats has grown concerning, even to me.

shariv67  My home security system is just 15 motion-activated Big Mouth Billy Basses.

StatsBritain  The top 4 causes of depression in Britain: 1. No tea 2. Steven Moffat 3. Lack of sunlight 4. “3 episodes”

crylenol  it’s just so crazy to think that kids born in 14 will be turning 2000 this year

NicestHippo  Your job sends money to your bank and within 10 seconds it’s all gone because of bills. Direct deposit is essentially money Snapchat.

MommyMG  Just realized I mistyped my birth year as 1082. It was a good year for the Holy Roman Empire and side ponytails were wayyy in style.

andrewmorrisey  Another day involving pants, I see.

johnmoe  6yo dropped some butter. We reminded her of the old saying, “Drop some butter, pick it up, tomorrow you might see a duck.” She’s excited.

Matt_Dwyer  All meetings should end with, “And when we face death we will think of none of this.”

 

biorhythmist  Oof. I had too many dinners last night.

PopCulLibrn  Part of my dream last night featured cats making up much of the first row of The Price is Right.

JerryThomas  Sorry I was texting during your trust fall.

bossy_bootz  I feel most alive when I’m hungry and grocery shopping

whitneyarner  Shout out to going to bed!

donni  Why do anything ever when you could just lay down

theleanover  What’s the over/under on me knowing what over/under means?

norcross  poopin

hellolanemoore  being on twitter late at night is like hanging out at the dorm common space while everyone’s roommate is getting laid

man_spach  [on a date] Ok don’t let her know you’re really Mr. Potato Head.

Date: Didn’t you have a mustache?

Me: Um… *pulls mustache out of butt*

dubouchet  It took 30 years for me to be OK with liking the stuff I liked when I was 13.

markleggett  I use a period tracker app for poop. Why should women have all the fun?

markleggett  That which does not kill your personal brand makes it stronger.

TheDairylandDon  [phone ring] Hi. It’s your blind date. Just got here. I’d come to the door, but your first image of me should be with my rims still spinnin.

shinyinfo  Wolverine must be really good at opening up those bags of milk Canadians like to use.

markleggett  Who’s your favourite professional sports monster?

SpaghettiJesus  Have you ever gone to Popeyes, come home, gotten stoned, forgotten about the Popeyes, smelled it, thought you were hallucinating & found it?

ixSEANxi  GOTHAM CLIFFHANGER: will Selina survive stealing from the mob of course cause she has to later become Catwoman why did we make this show.

Lilacmess  I know that my cats really appreciate when I sing “Dance Magic Dance” to them.

 

wrobertswriter  When you get angry, count to 10. Punch at 5. They won’t be expecting that.

weinerdog4life  What’s the normal amount of hair to mail someone? I feel like this is a lot of hair I’m mailing to someone

LetoileSan  I deleted the U2 album last night and woke up to a physical copy under my pillow.

cloudypianos  You know you’re pretty special when my butt texts you ten times in a row.

GoodMistakes56  Whoever said the worst feeling is a broken heart has obviously never had the runs in the middle of a traffic jam.

MassageByTed  Like 1970s dads hiding stacks of Playboys in the toolshed, I have a secret stash of Cocoa Puffs that the children must never find.

Sarcasticsapien  Counselor: Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Me: I assume I’ll still use a mirror. *10 years later* I do. I do still use a mirror.

UncleDynamite  Whenever Margaret Thatcher lost her place in a prepared speech, she’d placate audiences by saying, “Recalculating…recalculating…”

MagpieLibrarian  If your child is screaming and crying, definitely keep them in the library. It’s how they tell you that they’re having a great time.

BillCorbett  There are no free lunches? Bah! There’s plenty of ‘em if you like acorns and trash.

Yelix  Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure is basically Doctor Who for cool people who aren’t dorks

UncleDynamite  Over time I have come to completely respect the potato-ness of Sen. John McCain.

mitdasein  I bet if you went back in time and tried to tell people about Obama, they’d be like “No way! A Japanese president?”

JBreverseme  holy crap u guys thanksgiving is almost here followed by christmas, new year’s valentine’s day debt menopause death

SolomonJake “What’s the greatest song of all time?” MY LIPS: *some bullshit* MY HEART (in a whisper): “Africa. God help me, it’s Africa by Toto.”

pizzasauceboss  My version of “trust falls” is sitting on a public toilet seat without putting down tp.

UncleDynamite  At Last Minute, Connery Stumps For Something Called ‘Shcottish Independensh’

Atrios  scotland referendum options should have been “Fuckety Bye” and “No”

shinyinfo  Garfield and Gonzo shaped me as a person. A lazy weird person.

aspaul  I can see the #DressNormal campaign being one of those ideas that Don Draper pitched while being completely trashed.

donni  Apathy is on the rise but nobody cares

Toaster_Pastry  Please forward that useless e-mail to my Useless E-Mail Account.

slackmistress  People are impressed with those who put their money where their mouth is but money is like 98% poop so who’s impressed now?!

LaurelKS  Things that don’t exist in horror universes:

WD 40

Batteries

Common sense

louisvirtel  I’m not saying Bono thinks he’s Jesus, but he had us immaculately conceive his album.

 

tweet of the week

bombsfall  I thought “Steal like an artist” meant pirating the Adobe suite.

What is a Follow Friday post? It’s a blog series I created a few years ago based on a Twitter meme.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Would you like to be a guest photographer for Follow Friday? Email me!

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