– I feel extra terrible. Like I might be coming down with something. UGH. This is what I get for leaving the house and having friends and attempting to be gainfully employed like a normal person. I am currently sitting-slash-laying down in a position I call “puddle.”
– For Tuesday’s Kitchen post I meant to offer a video of Isobel “cooking” sweet potato mash soup with a Batman Lego mini fig in the kitchen, but I couldn’t get it to load properly and I felt like butts and I pretty much gave up on everything that didn’t involve feeding or bathing my child. Sorry about that. I hate not posting because I feel like I’m letting you guys down, and even though I know that’s a ridiculous feeling to have and that the world will function quite well without my daily post, thankyouverymuch, that obsessive part of my brain gets severely agitated if I fail to uphold my end of the bargain. I like to think I manage my obsessive tendencies quite well and channel it in ways that are useful to me but this is the inevitable drawback. Anyway. It’s all just part of my crazy. Welcome to my brain.
– I really appreciate all the support I received after publishing this post. It was something I have been wanting to share for a long time but the words did not come easily. It was too new and confusing and overwhelming–even after a full year. It felt good to talk about my experience and I had no anxiety about posting it here on Little Big. But then I realized that I needed to share it on Facebook where my family and Anthony’s family could see it, too. This made me very nervous and took me completely out of my comfort zone. One thing you learn when you grow up in an alcoholic family is that you never talk about anything, ever. Talking rocks the boat, and it’s hard enough to hold the boat together to prevent us all from drowning as it is. I was also afraid that I would be judged harshly: if someone online left a cruel or unsupportive comment, I could largely ignore it, even if it hurt. I’d have license to not take it too personally. But to open myself up to possible family criticism could be potentially devastating. Yet I knew that I really wasn’t sharing and being open if I didn’t allow family to see what I was freely offering to strangers. I wouldn’t be living up to my aspirations of openness about mental illness and my commitment to removing the stigma would not be authentic. As much as it rattled my nerves, I’m glad I did it, because I received nothing but support from both our families.
– The GOP must have taken my threats seriously because they reached an agreement on my birthday and WOOOHOOO among other things Yosemite is open for business! I would have loved to have gone on my actual birthday, and technically I could have, but in the interest of being as comfortable as possible we stuck close to home and had a lovely day just the 3.5 of us. But if you are in a position to go to Yosemite, or any other National Park, please go. Go often. Those communities need our support to help make up their lost revenue. It’s win-win because in return you get to visit an amazing National Park.
– It was my birthday last week and the one thing I deeply wanted was creme brulee. I had my eye on it the last few times we ate at Angelini’s, a local beloved Italian restaurant, but each time I was feeling too ill with pregnancy nausea to order it. Not this time, I thought as I put on my eatin’ pants, this time I’m getting it for sure! Of course, when we went to the restaurant the first thing I noticed was that it had been removed from their menu. DENIED. After much online bitching about the subject I think some friends and I might just try to learn from the master, our friend Ivan, and learn from the scratch the ways of the egg custard known as creme brulee. It will probably come to a surprise to no one that I am afraid of any sort of indoor fire and am slightly terrified at the thought of personally wielding a butane blowtorch. My friend Ivan loves it as much as I am terrified by it, so he’d make an excellent teacher.
– Speaking of our friends Ellen and Ivan, their son Noah is two and he pronounces Isobel in such a way that it sounds exactly like “Pizza Bell.” That really dovetails nicely as a very vocal contingent of our friends thinks the new baby should be named “Pizzasuarus Rex.”
– Last weekend I celebrated my birthday in a joint party with my lovely friend Stefanie and we danced and ate a cake festooned with a nerd-vagina and we danced and played games. There was a brief affair with a lamp. I had a great time and received a ton of chocolate because my friends know that pregnant ladies can’t drink and they are sensitive like that. I also managed to get out of wearing pants by donning a shirt long enough to be sort-of skirtish and pairing it with leggings. It was a good day.
– Anthony had an important interview last Monday and we all all crossing our fingers about it. I’m pretty anxious about the whole situation so that’s as much as I want to say for now. I’d just rather not talk about it.
– After last week’s OB appointment I realized that some of my frustration was coming from the fact that I was relentlessly comparing this pregnancy to my last pregnancy, which was a breeze, relatively speaking. I felt horrible for a very short time but then I bounced back with a vengeance. I was three months pregnant and shouting OH YEAH as I burst through the walls of my To-Do Lists like the Kool-Aid man. Instead of being constantly frustrated that this period of awfulness hasn’t ended, I’ve decided to just assume this is probably the way I will feel throughout this pregnancy and the best thing I can do is to take care of myself and focus on the things I can do, rather than what I can’t. I’m really loving being at home, probably more than is healthy, and snuggling Isobel a lot to make the most of our “just us” time. I’m choosing to think of my pregnancy body like this: my first priority is to make a human. That can be really hard. They are really complicated and have a lot of parts. After that all I really need to do is take care of my kid, do some chores, complete my freelance assignments and maybe brush my hair. I can do that.
– The day after my birthday I spent relaxing and watching the most recent Pride & Prejudice movie, which I love. Anthony likes it, too, and he decided that if Smalls is another girl he’s going to model his parenting style off that movie’s version of Mr Bennett.
– So looking forward to getting our new computer up and running and having my regular blog back. I have new ads that need to go up and posts that have been waiting forever and I am so sick of my own technology cock-blocking me. A friend recently asked me if it was too difficult to keep up with the blog while I’m feeling so terrible, but, a few minor hiccups aside, it’s really not. Sometimes I have to give you guys a raincheck on a post (or flake out altogether, like yesterday) but the truth is I love updating here and can’t imagine stopping. It’s certainly not my first priority, but it’s something that I make time for because I love it. It’s the fun thing I look forward to doing at the end of the day after all the laundry and dishes and errands around town. It’s my me time activity of choice. It keeps me focused and motivated and, believe it or not, sane. I am already brainstorming ways of arranging my posting schedule so I can still post regularly once Smalls is here, so I know I won’t always have that time to blog daily, but I am not giving up as long as I enjoy it.
Sponsor Spotlight: Little Big Bazaar. These are a few of my favorite things.
Follow Friday: The Historic State Theater. Come for the photos, stay for the tweets.
Let’s Talk About The Sad Parts. Mental health is as important as heart health.
Snapshot 10.16.13. It’s by birthday, I’ll cry if I want to! (I don’t. Maybe later.)
Domesticity: Winter Wish List 2013. I talk a bit about Christmas. Please don’t throw eggs at me.
Thrifted Maternity Closet: Week 16. Grandpa Pants are your friend.
Scrapbook: Pumpkin Patch 2011. A little late, on account of crazy.
Family Library. How Angry Chicken decided to create and grow her family library. This is so beautiful. If you are trying to grow yours, don’t forget to trawl thrift stores and library book sales. That’s where we found the bulk of our family library.
Drunk Dial Congress. Your ex might deserve it, but Congress most certainly does. (I found this link before the shutdown ended. Somehow I think saving it it will be prudent for the future.)
Inside the new tunnel 100 feet below San Francisco Bay. Everyone I know remembers the Loma Prieta Earthquake. Via
Pass out comic books instead of candy at Halloween. A great Halloween alternative! No Chick Tracts, please. Via
Recipe: Autumn Pomegranate Salad. Pom seeds, apples, and bacon.
Scrapbook: Home Life. Photos from around the house.
Thrifty Holidays: DIY NASA JPL Halloween Costumes. Damn, my husband is sexy with a mohawk.
Thrift Store Gore: Thrift Store Bingo. My crowning achievement.
I answer a reader question once a month. Do you have a question for me? I’d love to answer it! If it’s a short one I’ll answer it here. If it’s more complicated, I’ll give it its own post. You can leave your question in the comments, @-reply me on twitter, email it to me at firstname.lastname@example.org or send me a messenger pigeon. Don’t actually do the last one, though. My cat will eat it. Be sure to let me know if you want me to include your name and link to your blog or shop. Anonymous questions are fine, too.