Thrift Store Gore: Reno Edition
15 Mar
I keep trying to describe the specialness that is Reno and failing. It’s the kind of place where you can see a Rascal tethered to another, nonworking Rascal, puttering down the street. It’s the kind of place where hipsters hang out with burners hang while waving their guns in grocery store casinos. Not to put too fine a point on it, it’s a place of Terror Hobos.
This edition of Thrift Store Gore is brought to you by the magic that is Reno. We’re all familiar with Little Big’s Thrifting Pyramid, yes? Great! Let’s begin.
So: Terror Hobos. Someone amassed a collection of some of the scariest fucking clown portraiture imaginable and then donated it to Savers. I can only hope it was part of their annual haunted house display, though it was probably used to decorate their bathroom. Kind of brilliant, really. If I went into someone’s bathroom and found these guys on the wall, I’d be shitting myself guaranteed. It’s a home remedy for constipation.
God, just look at that first hobo. Molesty, much? And Scott’s face in the bottom left hand corner. He’s like, shame on you, terrifying hobo clowns. Shame on you. The last picture is such a great one of Scott I’m kind of mad he’s holding a terror hobo.
There. That’s better.
Speaking of horrifying clowns, this is how Terror Hobo makes me feel:
From the next set of photos I can only surmise that Reno needs to be put down.
Someone needs to tell one of the Four Horseman he left his horse in Reno and it’s not looking so good. I feel really bad for that inbred poodle. That cat looks exactly how altitude sickness makes me feel, and OH MY GOD IS THAT A FIGURINE OF A ONE-EYED DOG?!
Picture frames are expensive, and sometimes while thrifting you might think to yourself, “I could really use a new picture frame. Hell, I could really use a whole new FAMILY!”
This makes me think of Sarcasmically.
This album sounds like a health condition. “If patients develop Lady Bump after administering Penny McLean, please consult your physician immediately.”
Savers had a whole wall of weird items in plastic bags going for two dollars. Now I can finally cross, “buy bag of chickens” off my life list!
When I told Angela this inspired me to start a band called “sack full of cock,” she replied, “Well, that’s way better than ‘Bag of Dicks!’”
This apron gives new meaning to the term “front butt.” Who among us has never thought to themselves, “Man, I sure wish I had two butts!”
Someone needs to tell Japan to stop making new Pokemon.
This bear is so very special. It’s made of wax and, according to Angela, “It looks like somebody snotted him out.” I don’t even know what that means, but I completely agree.
Anthony found the next set of photos deeply disturbing. Sensitive readers might want to seek treatment or hide in the cupboard for a few hours after witnessing this collection that I call, “Grandpaw Poops.”
Sorry, the photos are kind of blurry due to horror-giggles.
I don’t even know what to say, other than apparently these were once hung up in somebody’s bathroom. The End Times, we deserve them.
I have a weakness for China souvenir plates. Surprisingly, I was able to pass on this one.
It was Scott who found the most stunning piece of Reno Gore that day. Behold, Mouth-Breathing Rat Tail Silhouette Boy!
I can only imagine this masterpiece was created after the boy in this photo.
Thanks for the Gore, Reno! You do not disappoint.
There is just so much disturbing here I don’t even know where to start.
Ding ding ding! Reno in a nutshell. Right there.
AMAZING!
I was pretty much amazed by the scores and gores the whole time we were there.
Magic Mountain troll!!! How he haunted my childhood. I always tell people that Reno “biggest little city in the world” Nevada is better than Vegas. When they doubt me, I shall direct them here.
Amy {babybabylemon} recently posted..Celebrating SITS Day
I am so very glad someone who UNDERSTANDS THE SOUL OF RENO has read this post.
sweet mother of god. all of that is just terrifying/awesome.
Terrifying/Awesome would be a great name for a Reno thrift store.
Oh! Oh! Oh! My pediatrician had several of those terror hobos hanging in his waiting room and various exam rooms. They were just as terrifying then.
And that one-eyed dog is WINKING. Have you never been winked at by a dog before???
It’s been too long since I’ve been to Savers. I know what I’m doing this weekend!
Handflapper recently posted..Read this and you get free candy at the end. And not the crappy kind the weird-smelling old man on the end of your street gives you at Halloween. The good kind. Wait, what? You’re still trick-or-treating? What the hell is wrong with you?
Why is it that pediatricians are so weird?!
I’m glad Reno had no problems lettings its freak flag fly when you guys visited us! Sack of cock should be our all lady hair metal band
Reno was out en force! Remember Bikini Trans Am girl?!
I am in complete hysterics… thank-you for a dose of much needed laughter.
Danielle recently posted..navy & red
You are so very welcome.
These posts are a blast to write.
If I had known then what I know now, I would have thought twice about moving to Reno without ever having visited the city… But it does make for some interesting sights. Like the man riding down the street on a bicycle with a 40 gallon trashbag full of popcorn. The edible kind… I’m glad you enjoyed your visit!! I like reading your Reno stories!
Ginamonster recently posted..I’ll just plan my own damn marathon.
As a fellow thrifter, I love this!!!
Xenia recently posted..Ballin’ on a Budget: Summer Swag
I’m so glad you liked this! I have a bunch more Thrift Store Gore posts in my archives that you might enjoy as well.