Goals

With the end of 2016, I have heard the argument that time is an arbitrary distinction and the year wasn’t what was horrible, it was the people in the year. They are, of course, correct. That is all true. But why do we have rituals for a new year? It’s about us and the way our minds work. We need permission to let go of the past, and we need permission to wipe the slate clean and start again. We need to feel liberated in this way to muster up the courage and motivation for change.

Thinking about 2016 as a bad year gives us hope. It keeps fear at bay.

I’m still talking with Anthony and working out my goals for what I want to focus on in 2017, but I did update my life list and it’s longer than ever. As for resolutions, although they are pretty much doomed to failure, I’m of the opinion that attempting something and falling short is much better than failing to make the attempt. If your goal is to read a hundred books and you only read five, that’s five more than you read before. Five books can have a huge impact on your life.

Here’s to letting go of 2016, and all the mental garbage of the past year with it.

Own a wardrobe I’m proud of.
Take Isobel to the beach.
Have another child.
Grow a garden of poppies.
Visit the aquarium with Isobel.
Take an unconventional family portrait.
Take Isobel to Yosemite.
Sell my thrifted finds on Etsy.
Decorate Isobel’s big girl bedroom.
Visit Jose and Lupe in San Jose.
Create a thrifted dress-up chest.
Take Isobel to the library for story time.
Master a working menu for a year.
Pick out and carve Isobel’s first pumpkin.
Stargaze in the desert.
Take a whale-watching tour.
Redesign my website; host & maintain it.
Take Isobel to our local water park.
Visit my friends Dave & Stef in Reno.
Purchase copies my favorite childhood books.
Meet our financial goal so I can be a SAHM.
Take a Mommy and Me swimming class.
Stock my garden with a village of gnomes.
Meet Anthony Bourdain.
High-Five DJ Lance Rock.
Back up all the information and files on my computer.
Have another baby.
Spend a summer devoted with day trips.
Make pickles.
Grow vegetables in the backyard.
Take kids to the Great Valley Museum.
Make a list of daytrip destinations.
Watch all of Voyager.
Learn to work my GD sewing machine.
See Rifftrax live.
Read Matilda to Isobel.
Create a car emergency kit.
Have a family snow day.
Visit Jake in Sacramento.
Take Isobel and Elias to the Aquarium in Monterrey.
Engage politically on a national level.
Meet as many online friends as possible.

Day trip with Lena
Watch all of TOS
Ride the California Zephyr train
Grow and dry my own lavender
Host a Lego party
Go to a baseball game
Make pavlova
Try durian
Go tubing down a river
Join a CSA
Pick up the flute again
Take Elias to the cabin
Hot Air Balloon Day with the Burchetts
Make butter with the kids
Throw a shower for my sister
Take photos with family at the beach
Try Tai Chi
Read 10 more Sci Fi books
Read 1,000 books with Isobel
Read 1,o00 books with Elias
Create seed bead necklaces
Stay in a hotel on the beach
Paint house a new color
Go on a planetarium date with Anthony
Take kids to the Exploratorium
Visit Jenn & Chris in SoCal
Test my DNA with 23andMe
Test Isobel’s DNA with 23andMe
Learn to edit video
Tour the McHenry Mansion
Help the homeless
Travel with Anthony on business
Engage politically on a local level
Have a Fancy Restaurant Manners Date with Isi
Photograph 24 hours of bread
Visit Pinnacles National Park
Eat at the Farmer’s Diner
Photograph Mike’s amazing yard
Make homemade yogurt
Set up a compost bin and rain barrel in our backyard
Visit the Santa Cruz butterfly sanctuary

Pimp my closet
Research my family tree
Plan a cabin getaway with friends
Take sunflower girl photos of Isobel
Take a family portrait with Elias
Show the kids a redwood forest
Take the kids to a warm beach
Keep a small flock of chickens
Take kids to the redwoods
Take kids to a warm beach
Stay in a hotel in SF for a few days
Take the kids to the Exploratorium
Take the kids to the Planetarium in SF
Take the kids to Delores Park
Take the kids to Golden Gate Park Conservatory
Have a weekend away with just Anthony
Try Anthony’s favorite dim sum place
Host a craft & potluck night
Try Indian food
Visit the Assyrian market
Return to the Alemeda flea market
Write an eBook
Finish decorating Elias’ room
Take a thrifting roadtrip with friends
Sing with Stefalynda
Learn to make his grandma’s black beans & chirmol
Learn to make my grandma’s fudge sauce & carrots and wine sauce
Create a Family of Isobel & Elias book
Visit a u-pick farm
Participate in Family Kite Day in the mountains
Bike the Virginia Corridor Trail with family
Xerescape my yard
Visit the Antelope Valley Poppy Reserve
Print business cards
Get my business license
Karaoke duet with Stefanie
Swim in a turquoise sea
Participate in a drum circle
Tour a European castle
Teach Isobel to cook
Teach Elias to cook
Make pasta from scratch
Spend a night stargazing with Anthony
Create a family photo gallery
Learn to edit video
Speak basic Spanish
Walk on an English moor
Research our family tree
Visit the UC Davis arboretum
Grow my own mushrooms
Help a needy family have a bountiful holiday
Bathe in a hot spring
See the Northern Lights
Taste ice wine
Try many new cheeses
Go on a family camping trip
Try Geocacheing with the family
Have an English-style tea
Walk on the Golden Gate Bridge
Crochet a fancy scarf
Create a gallery wall of my photos
Make homemade bagels
Fly First Class
Take family photos at the beach
Create a coloring book for Isobel with friends
Sing a karaoke duet with Stefanie
Craft family Christmas stockings
Learn to bake truly excellent bread
Perfect my punch
Prepare for the apocalypse
Eat at a Michelin-starred restaurant
Take a trip to NYC
Record my Grandma’s life story
Record Anthony’s Grandma’s life story
Explore the Tikal ruins in Guatemala
Cook a campfire meal
Become proficient at building a fire
Learn basic and advanced embroidery techniques
Crochet an amigurumi animal
Plant a dwarf orchard in our backyard
Fill a pantry with homemade preserves and canned goods
Experience Hong Kong
Get a meaningful tattoo
Make homemade ice cream
Set up a compost bin and a rain barrel in our yard
Visit the SF MOMA
Hike Vernal Falls in the Spring
Eat ramen in Japan
Stay in a woodland cabin
Explore and photograph the Badlands
Visit a Viking museum in Sweden
Visit a natural history museum
Visit the Rosicrucian Museum
Photograph my favorite local sites
Renew our wedding vows
Witness a huge lightning and thunder storm
Have a dance party with Isobel
Watch a caterpillar turn into a butterfly
Grow an extensive patio herb garden
Thrift at the San Juan Bautista Yard Sale Festival
Fondue party!
Contribute financially to our family
Help Anthony get his D&D writing published
Display my photography in a gallery show
Look through an observatory’s telescope

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I’ve been in a health slump since the start of the new year, something I’m sure you’ve noticed from the lack of posting. It’s nothing new or serious, just something that happens and will continue to happen as part of having a chronic illness. Mostly it’s manifested as deep exhaustion, the kind where you aren’t even able to concentrate or focus, and all of my energy has been dedicated to keeping the home fires burning, just barely, with nothing left over. As I said to my friend Stef, I don’t even have two thoughts to rub together to form words for a post. Today I am so far able to get this far, so let’s hope this luck holds!

It’s a new year and while I don’t put stock in resolutions, I do like to take time to reflect upon the previous year, revise my life list, and think about what I want in life. I have a life list post coming up, but today I wanted to talk about five things I realized I want more of in the year to come. (Obviously, I’d love more good days and to win the lottery, but I’m focusing on the things I have some power over.)

Read more.

It’s sad how little I read these days. Well, I’m constantly reading, actually, but I’m not counting blog posts, social media, or news articles. I’m not one to say those don’t have value, because I definitely think they do, but I’ve been missing reading books (or ebooks–I don’t hate). I read constantly growing up, and still again when I worked as a school librarian. I loved that Isobel saw me reading. I didn’t even notice it falling away from my life until I sat down and realized it had been a long time since my “to read” pile got any smaller. It can be really hard to read when you have a toddler, but it’s not impossible. I tend to me more of a non-fiction gal, but there are some fiction titles that have really caught my eye. Even thinking about reading makes me excited. The library book sale is this month, too–perfect timing.

Cook vegetarian more often.

Food is such a tricky subject for me, as it is with any Crohn’s patient. What I can eat, how much, and when–all of it is dicey and subject to change. But there certain vegetables that are safe for me, as well as ways I can prepare them that make them easier for me to digest. I want to make the most of that. I used to be a vegetarian for years, and it’s a really fun way to cook. I married and gave birth to two carnivores who could really use some vegetable variation in their diets, too.

Take more photos.

Years ago, when I first got a camera in my hand, I started taking photos almost compulsively, and I haven’t stopped. I still take them all the time. I’m just lazy about getting out the big camera. There are so many times when I’m walking to the car with the kids, or making dinner, or doing laundry when I see something and think, “that would make a great photo!” but more often than not I don’t follow through and actually take the damn photo. I want to take the opportunity to follow that inspiration and see where it leads.

Make time to meditate.

This one is going to be the hardest. I remember one book on meditation encouraged parents of young children to find any moment they had to themselves and use it to meditate–say, for example, all that time you have while in the shower or on the toilet. I don’t remember who that author was, but I can guarantee they didn’t have children. At the risk of being indelicate, I am never alone, not even in the shower or while using the bathroom. Maybe even especially those times. Often the times I have alone, or at least, when I am not being touched in some way by a small person, is when I’m driving. Not exactly the best time to meditate. I’ll probably have to work something out with Anthony for this one.

Make more dates with friends.

I have several friends who live in Modesto, the larger city down the freeway from us, and was going to make this item about seeing them, until I realized I barely have dates with friends who literally live down the road from me. I might talk to them often via text, but getting together is another struggle altogether. My friend Ellen is kind of a super woman, and is really great about making sure a group of us gets together on a somewhat regular basis, so my goal for this year is to simultaneously see her more and also become her. I AM BECOME ELLEN, PLANNER OF LADY DATES.

*****

One of the problems with resolutions is that they frame the issues as if you are somehow inadequate in your life right now. I’m here to tell you that you aren’t. You are great, right now, no matter what the cover of a magazine or our culture might tell us. The challenge isn’t to look at your life and think, “Ugh, this is awful. What do I need to change?” The challenge is, look at your life and think: “This is great. What do I want more of?”

Little Big

Bless This Mess

Life List Update 2017

Five Things for a New Year

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