This week’s photos come from my submissions to the Farmer’s Market Hauls group on flickr. It’s a fantastic idea, and if you regularly shop farmer’s markets, fruit stands or CSA, I urge you to participate.
What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further. Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.
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MsHunnyBunnie Smoovie. Title of my new soul album of songs about smoothies.
apatheticist After years of twitter I’ve become much more comfortable with subtitled movies.
pourmecoffee Bush library opens today. There’s a beautiful trickle-down fountain in main hall that just feeds back to top and never reaches lower level.
prodigalsam How is Red Lobster’s tag line not “Shrimpin’ Ain’t Easy”?
MrWordsWorth It doesn’t matter how I style my hair, it always looks like it hates me.
rstevens Sex is like 3-D chess. Spock is the best at it.
RowdyPrimate Sometimes I’d like a break from parenting to do something less stressful, like inflight missile repair.
Eagle_Vision “Trust me, you can dance.” ~ alcohol
1800Randy Remember when your child was little how you could fall asleep with him laying on your chest? My phone and I still have that.
mikeleffingwell Just saw your funny email forward – I am DYING! (Sorry, that really should have been two separate messages)
wordlust If you’ve ever commented on an Internet article, you failed the IQ test.
EveryTweet_Ever HEY I WAS GONE FROM TWITTER FOR A WHILE LOL DID YOU MISS ME SAY YES or don’t fine whatever i hate everything
ryankresse Hey! Lawrence Welk is on! Wait, nope, that’s Leno.
ShesAllWrite Did I read something today about a sandwich made with Pop Tarts, or was that a beautiful dream?
MsHunnyBunnie For all the time cat spends staring at me while I’m on the toilet, I’d have thought he’d figure out how to use it by now.
TheRealDratch I will buy any magazine that says “How to Get Rid of Clutter!” And then eventually it will end up in a mountain of papers on hall table.
heyjenray Another “Rate My Teacher” favorite: “three words. your not great.”
JulieFroolie So that girl on NCIS must keep Hot Topic in business.
runawaycupcake Hold on, I’ve got to remove that mailbox from my car before I can finish the text.
Smethanie The bigger the kids’ temper tantrums during the day, the more of their Teddy Grahams I eat while they sleep.
TeflonDonatello Man wakes up strapped to a chair with a N64 controller in his hands & jigsaw on tv “would you like to play a game?” *cuts to Superman 64*
Mortimusgerbil Where is your sister? Why are marshmallows stuck to the door? …And other parenting questions.
Jenniferpro My 2yr old is using “butthead” now. I don’t know where he learned it & I sure hope it doesn’t piss off some of those buttheads in the park.
HowToBeADad2 Toddlers with their parents’ mobile phones make the cutest terrible receptionists.
mrpilkington At the end of the day aren’t we all attending the same cosplay convention?
introvertedwife I had no idea Lucy Liu was in an old episode of Hercules. I have no idea why I’m watching an old episode of Hercules.
Handflapper Pretty sure it was a mistake when we decided it was wrong to hit kids.
BourbonDiary I grew out of my potential and now it doesn’t fit.
daggerbyte Here’s an idea to protect our schools: hall monitors. Only thing that can stop a bad guy with a gun is a good sized lizard floppin around.
markleggett I look in the mirror where I see my only enemy: Todd, my fat cousin. Get the fuck out of my bathroom, Todd. I’m trying to shave my legs.
hipstermermaid Napping is like a little baby weekend in the middle of the day.
HeyGregHess Until college, I thought Belle & Sebastian was just a Beauty and the Beast vs. Little Mermaid mashup.
suebob My computer was acting all funky. I found out my dog way laying on wireless mouse. Cancel tech support.
MommyMG Baby removes the pacifier from her mouth to yell at me with the same controlled dignity as Humphry Bogart taking one last draw on his cig
mitdasein Daytime TV makes me painfully aware that I don’t have a lawyer.
Brianhopecomedy Got really excited when my wife said she was going to teach me something new in the bedroom until she started folding a fitted sheet.
Molly_Kats They rearranged the grocery store so I just went home.
rikpayne I love old folks but let’s be honest here… they flat out suck at crowd surfing.
JulieFroolie Oh to be Capt Picard, zip into a jumpsuit, polish my head, ready to conquer galaxies.Say “sourdough toast!” into that food thing, it appears.
WilliamAder Let me put it this way, when shopping for clothes online, I’ve never clicked on “Active Wear.”
owlparliament sometimes breadsticks look more like breaddicks
theleanover Dove should launch a campaign informing women that I’m handsomer than they realize.
nottjmiller I’m also starting Rickstarter to start calling more people Rick.
BlondeFacade We were just two ships passing in the night and HOLY SHIT YOUR MAST IS HUGE
ShanduskyM What happens in Vegas, grows in your uterus.
DamienFahey C’mon, let’s overlook the Constitution just this once to try Reese Witherspoon as an enemy combatant.
FakeLibStats 45% of library QR codes are links to cat gifs
wordlust2 In the kingdom of the blind, there’s no reason to wear pants.
Disalmanac Today in 1864, the US started printing “In God We Trust” on its coins. Before this, we trusted Cthulhu, and it was pretty fucking awesome.
laurenbutt I have this special skill where I can tell you are a d-bag JUST by the way you drive a Mercedes and are in high school.
biorhythmist My diet at this point consists mainly of caffeine and cuticle meat.
paulverhoeven The name ‘Chatfield’ comes from the latin for ‘Waterfalls’. So when @jason_chatfield leaves, I like to scream ‘DON’T GO, JASON WATERFALLS’.
ItsTheGrumpyCat I don’t understand why people need to do drugs or party in order to have fun, have you tried mac n cheese
notoriousjwc Some idiot is asking a girl to prom by covering the street in front of the house in chocolate. My kids are eating it.
jonwahlgren In Sweden, the candy is just called “fish”
heiditron3000 There are people out today saving lives, making scientific breakthroughs, and painting masterpieces. …Meanwhile, I put my bra on my cat.
ohheygreat if you are on a magazine cover with the headline ‘my new body’ and that body is not, like, a cheetah or horse, missed opportunity.
JulieFroolie I’d go Amish just so I don’t have to see any more fingernail art.
usedwigs Embrace the joy and wonderment you feel when seeing a very old Asian woman wearing the same exact sneakers you’re wearing.
russellabird Someone asked me how to keep coffee beans fresh, my response “Drink it faster”
ladybirdj If you wake up before the person in bed with you, do something sweet like put pennies on their eyes and hum “Night on Bald Mountain.”
ihave5watches I swallowed part of a play dough set last week and I’ve been taking long star shaped poops ever since.
WilliamAder My doctor never, ever, mentions my weight. That topic is like the elephant in the room. Wait.
morninggloria Being a cat would be the life, man. Just sitting in windows all day fantasizing about murdering all of the birds in the world.
jerryrenek I’m celebrating Record Store Day as I always do: wondering why I have more than one Tears For Fears record.
rikpayne The things Ginuwine wants to do with that pony are illegal in 36 states.
johnmoe One ring to rule the mall.
Anatinus “i’m quite easy on the eyes. like eye candy, but good for you, like broccoli. I’m eye broccoli” Best dating description I’ve read in ages.
brattylibrarian 85% of librarians will celebrate 4/20 by weeding
theleanover 11:59! I wished for string cheese.
apelad The whole premise of Barney the dinosaur is twofold: hallucinations shared among unaccompanied minors and worship of Mister Golden Sun.
LouisPeitzman Did the guy who invented Xanax win the Nobel Chill Prize? OK, good night.
Toaster_Pastry You know, all of this could have been avoided if we all carried bombs.
JoseCanseco Trying to get inspired to paint a Donald trump painting.
bumlaser “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.” WHAT ARE SKINNY FEELS? IS THAT A KIND OF CANDY?!
BiIIMurray Who’s the idiot that named them jet skis instead boatercycles?
kaz474 The only instrument I play is the maudlin. Never even took lessons, I’m self taught.
Twisted_Mettle You think YOUR degree is useless?! I’m a Fart History major.
prodigalsam No one has ever mistaken DiGiorno’s for delivery. No one.
marlespo Internet shops need breathalyser tests.
MightyHunter Instead of the obvious sound-alike phrase, I’m now going to say “Mothra-fucking.”
DivorceDiva I’M SO SORRY, people who are “similar to me” on twitter.
DadBeard Drama Police, upstage this girl, her clove cigarettes are making me feel ill.
mattomic “I heard it on CNN!” CNN: “I heard it on Reddit!” Reddit: “Police scanner!” Police: “We were mentioning a tweet!” Twitter: “I’M 14 LOL SWAG”
trumpetcake To the employees who just witnessed me using the emergency chemical shower it’s because I responded “coo” instead of “cool” in a text.
CarlyRM I couldn’t go to the gym today because the chicken and waffles food truck was here.
genegeorge The biggest proof against animism is that we’re not crippled by the cries of beanie babies slowly bleaching in the back windows of cars.
markleggett Hey @Marvel, “Woolverine”. He’s made of wool. And if his arm gets cut off his grandma has to knit him a new one. I await your approval.
carfire But really the most metal thing you can do is push a small parasitic human out of your twat.
What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further. Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.
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