This week’s Follow Friday post features some photographs of the phenomenon we refer to as “piping.”

Would you like to be a guest photographer for Follow Friday? Email me!

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

mitdasein  I need an Otterbox for my self-esteem.

BeTheBoy  My name is Will and it’s been 14 days since I checked the Twitter feeds of people I really dislike.

jerryrenek  If my Wikipedia bio is to be trusted I have 3 USB ports and I’m forcibly drydocked every year for a barnacle scraping.

MeetYourDaddy  There’s a thin line between “I should tweet about that” and “I should talk to a psychiatrist about that.”

rstevens  NPR just said the final ingredient in cloning human stem cells was caffeine. I’m gonna be bloody immortal.

charliedelta7  In hell, all your Twitter followers are friends and family from facebook.

thebookpolice  Few things make me happier than knowing that if I say “New York City,” at least a dozen people will immediately think “get a rope.”

badbanana  If I’m ever in a coma, don’t try to wake me. I’m doing what I love.

Breadery  Relationship status: Moonlit dancing with my perfume sprayed mop.

theleanover  Girl r u this joke format ’cause I love you.

mitdasein  In its original form, “To Catch a Pre-Dator” was devoted to catching people who retroactively forge documents.

LouisPeitzman  My neighbor’s loud house guests are gone, and now I’m lonely.

ceilck  7th Inning Hungry Jaguar #BaseballMoreInteresting

yoyology  All walks must be silly, as demonstrated by John Cleese #BaseballMoreInteresting

yoyology  Runners tunnel from base to base, a la Bugs Bunny. Extra points for left turn at Albuquerque. #BaseballMoreInteresting

timeblimp  Instead of counting as strikes, the penalty for foul balls will be pneumonia. #BaseballMoreInteresting

yoyology  Bat boys actual bats. RT @DaneNeverSleeps: Bullpen contains actual bulls. #BaseballMoreInteresting

DaneNeverSleeps  Vendors also sell beer and dogs to onfield players. #BaseballMoreInteresting

rockskimmer  Prairie dog town in left #BaseballMoreInteresting

rockskimmer  Every fielder must knit a wearable garment by the end of game, for charity & one run each. Disco scarves=3 runs. #BaseballMoreInteresting

rockskimmer  The Minnesota Conjoined Twins #BaseballMoreInteresting

MrsFridayNext  I am the 20%. RT @FakeLibStats: 20% of a library’s patrons receive 80% of the overdue notices

jess_mc  Ever since I took down my 08 HOPE poster, I can’t get my smoke alarm to stop beeping. I can’t prove it’s Obama, but I think it probably is.

shanethevein  Right now, somewhere out there, there is a stripper named Cinnamon saying “That’s how I roll!”.

MeatMaven  My boy: Ancient Egyptians were weird; they worshiped cats Me: Hmmm…I’ve seen 3 cat videos today alone.

markleggett  There’s no better feeling in this world than waking up, taking a massive dump, and then sliding out of bed.

opinionsbyanna  If Ben murders me tonight it will be because I’m SO BUZZED ON CAFFEINE I cannot stop making annoying noises and twitching

lafix  Everything is a

haiku if you do the words

like this, bitch.

DJRotaryRachel  I’m willing to entertain your ‘Global warming is a hoax’ theory if I can use your pool.

catagator  ”I watched hockey Friday night at Brian’s house and I kind of liked it.” — My husband. Filing for divorce ASAP.

InfiniteChicken  URGENT UPDATE: there is a cat sleeping on my ass.

sween  Today I said “hi” to someone really loud and it sounded like I was doing karate and I have literally never felt so cool.

lovegrrbottle  I have a bag of ice on my crotch. So that’s how my night is going.

willmckinley  Sorry no #FFs this week. My intern Josh is on vacation.

Nina_V  You give love a bad name. Like “Todd” or “Gladys,” probably.

biorhythmist  Turns out my tattoo is actually the Chinese character for ‘Schadenfreude’

isplotchy  It’s not what you know. It’s who you what where am I

BobbyAnthem  I lost 10 followers while I was sleeping. What did you accomplish last night?

torrami  If someone says you make them sick, you should feel slightly guilty but ultimately ecstatic about your new super power.

paleofuture  look i didn’t forget your birthday this year i got you this… *furiously searches pockets* …tweet

Wolfrum  I admire those of you who just go after your dreams every day. You make me feel that it’s ok for me to be a slacker. You got this.

notoriousjwc   It would be super awesome if I could slide off the treadmill directly into a hot tub

morninggloria  Selfie mugshots are the future.

sgnp  Congrats, MN! Looking forward to another freaked out mass-mailing from my conservative relatives this Christmas.

ScrewyDecimal  And as we all know, there’s no “acting like a jackass” in “listen.”

L8enough  All those people who don’t think blogging is a real job? I’m currently filling a photo of Thomas Edison’s lab with cats.

davepell  Repeating this tweet for the evening crew: “The morning crew sort of sucks.”

PoorEvelyn  My idea of dieting is not watching the Food Network after 8:00 PM.

david_cornelius  Good news! The network is moving this sandwich to the coveted time slot of being in my belly.

TimTrueheart  Student loans is the new indentured servitude.

briangaar  I’m appalled that kids play 13 hours of video games a week, that’s not enough to get good at anything

shariv67  This week at Whole Foods everyone who buys kale will receive a FREE air of superiority.

MassageByTed  Ken Burns has a secret version of every documentary he’s ever made that is narrated by Ann Landers. He’s just waiting. Patiently waiting.

sbellelauren  damn gurl do you subscribe to daddy magazine cause you got issues

iamchrisscott  How old could Sting get before people started to suspect something was up. 130? 150?

owlparliament  ”Who knows, it could rule!!” – Me, when faced with something that will almost certainly not rule.

slackmistress  ”LET’S GET SHIT DONE!” – me to @daisyjdog every time we leave for a walk

JerryThomas  Would you be willing to give your life for something larger than yourself? Like, say, World Peace, or 800 pounds of meringue?

99golems  is that maniacal laughter coming from your pants or are you just happy to see me

MrTwoAitch  Was mixing paint. It’s going to take forever to clean these turntables.

wheatandsky  Tired. Incoherent ramblings 100% guaranteed or your money back.

thispartyislame  If I was a witch I would probably just use my powers to turn things into snacks or pillows.

99golems  Bill Nye the Unblinking All-Seeing Eye

Brotherwags  My favorite comedy in life is people who create drama for themselves.

rachelokokok  Can’t wait for my fingers to lose some weight and have less tweet typos.

Caissie  I’m thinking about getting an adult tricycle. Only time wearing a bike helmet would actually make you look cooler?

Goofpoops  If you don’t think I can sit on the couch for 6 hours & eat a pack of Oreos while playing video games then you’ve severely underestimated me

PolyesterPony  I bet having a boyfriend on twitter is like having one in prison, it’s awkward having sex thru a glass partition with everyone watching.

theleanover  Went to play D&D but could only find sex dice so now an elf queen is riding a mage +4 reverse cowgirl.

ApocalypseHow  Mothers Day = Thanksgiving for therapists

pontiuslabar  ”I love you like late 90s house music / loves the transmissions of Russian cosmonauts.” -Pablo Neruda v2.0

jess_mc  My favorite part of Mother’s Day is when the tweets start getting drunk.

VaguelyFunnyDan  Thanks for getting all fat and hungry for 9 months, moms. And much love to adoptive mothers, who carried their babies in their hearts.

mitdasein  I can’t believe some people want to put Flo Rida in Portland’s water.

J__Swift  Occasionally I feel sad I’ll never be a mom but then I look at the cat with the four kittens and I’m all, whew.

Nickadoo  Vanilla Ice’s Mother’s Day cards just say “Word.”

lovegrrbottle  Wrote Ryan a detailed description of breakfast I want tomorrow & told him to look up cute handmade card ideas on Pinterest. I don’t mess.

cwethern  @exlibris I’ll be disappointed if, after changing [all four lightbulbs], he didn’t yell, “THERE. ARE. FOUR. LIGHTS!”

slackmistress  A lot of us are possessed by demons but instead of corrupting mankind they make us eat Funyuns instead.

apatheticist  Your face either hides your brain or reveals it. Either way, I’m glad I can’t see your brain.

pushinghoops  in this economy, you’d be a fool not be your own swagger coach

MsHunnyBunnie  You assholes really need to stop with the donut tweets, unless you’re gonna share.

thispartyislame  I’m sorry I can’t come to your wedding, I already ate.

LastMomOnEarth  It is hard to keep the romance alive when 3/4 of your conversations as a couple are about the ease and consistency of somebody else’s poop.

PinterestFake  These ultra-flammable paper lanterns are worth it for how cute they’ll look in your nursery.

laurenbutt  just bought the best fitting pair of jeans in my life so I guess I’m in a relationship now?

JayInSanAntonio  If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you…. what I’m trying to say is I think I have herpes.

MassageByTed  Man, I slept like a baby last night (full diaper)

mzeld  Live, Laugh, Love, Look at your phone

trumpetcake  This genie said my third wish, “a raccoon with wings,” was unethical.

john_uw  @sgnp yo dawg I herd you like that I herd what you like so I put an ear in my ears so you can like that you like that I herd what you like.

Wolfrum  I admire those of you who just go after your dreams every day. You make me feel that it’s ok for me to be a slacker. You got this.

JulieFroolie  No one’s ever a cold mess. I’m here to change that.

paulverhoeven  Would you rather have your feet replaced with wheels OR LAZERS?

shariv67  Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me three times, I have that many kids.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

It’s time for some Thrift Store Gore! What is thrift store gore? I made it up with my brain! It’s a column I created after finding one too many disturbingly weird things while thrifting. I post photos of stuff that belongs at the tippy-top of Little Big’s Thrifting Pyramid and then I make fun of them. Click here for more gore, or here to learn about Thrift Store Gore Bingo, a fun game for the whole family and maybe that crazy lady who won’t stop talking to you in housewares.

I don’t know if this is just a common feature about where I live, but when you visit a thrift store in my area, you will be presented with about ten thousand cow-themed buying options. Although I live in a place large enough to be considered a city, we are surrounded by farm land, fields, and ranches. We have an abundance of dairies, and one casual drive through the slightest outskirts of the suburbs and you will know that by the smell alone. A lot of people around here love cows and feel it necessary to buy any item emblazoned with Holstein patches of black and white, even if it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. It might be that people everywhere desire bovine home accessories, I don’t know, but I can’t go into a thrift store without seeing something cow-related for the home.

I realize that the last time I posted thrift store gore it was all sex-related, and I didn’t mean for this time to include adult content as well, but I can’t help it. All the cows I found have an overly-developed sex drive.  I’m just here to snark on it.

Case in point: a teapot featuring a cow engaged in some sort of personal act with its own tail. What’s more appetizing than a cow regurgitating tea mid self-stimulation? The sad part is, I don’t think its even enjoying it. …More tea?

This piece really serves no other purpose than to display some cows getting freak-nasty in your living room. A wholesome nicknack for the whole family to enjoy!

At first glance this cow just looks high. The tongue sticking out is a nice touch. Upon closer examination, however, you’ll notice human ladyboobs and a distinct lack of udders.

“Pass the salt, dear!”

“Which one is the salt, Grandma?”

“The one that looks like a circumcised male member with a cow tattoo, sweetie.”

“Here you go!”

This is one of the weirdest items I’ve ever come across in my long career of thrifting. My cousin Liz actually pointed it out to me while we were at a church sale during Christmas. This was was a large picture, a couple feet across, professionally framed and encased in glass. This was a serious work of art that used to hang proudly in someone’s home. I’m assuming over the mantel, or the couch. Or, given the subject of the work, in the master bedroom.

Please note both the depraved actions of the farmer and the look of pure bliss on the cow. All I can say is, I’m super glad that’s an udder.

- Anthony is down to his last few days of work and we are hanging in there. Thank you so much for all the nice letters, emails, and even in a few cases, presents(!) that you have showered upon us lately. We’ve really needed those good vibes to keep motivated and I feel like we have a whole cheering section behind us with family and friends and long distance friends we’ve never even met before encouraging us t0 keep going. Anthony and I have both experienced many ups and downs throughout this whole process, and some of the lows have been really low. But we have great momentum and a plan and we’re going to go from here. I can’t really say much specifically, other than Anthony has had several interviews with several more lined up, and he’s been busting his ass filling out application after application, even after putting in ten hours on the job beforehand.

- The other day Isobel was pretending to cook food for me, and at one point she handed me a teacup and said, “Here is your yummy hot smoothie, Mama!” I need to teach her how smoothies work.

- Last weekend we accompanied my Mom to a family reunion and we got to see copies of my great-grandfather’s marriage certificate, naturalization papers, and engineer’s license. My Grandma had been keeping them safely in her filing cabinet drawers this whole time. While there Isobel got to meet one of her cousins for the first time and then all the kids jumped in the pool, even though no one brought their swimming suits. We could hardly blame them – the reunion was outside and it was 90 degrees in the shade.

- Speaking of hot weather, we endured the winter without a heater after it broke sometime after Halloween. I can’t say we were comfortable but we only had a few hard freezes so we made it through. We dreaded, though, that a broken heater meant a broken air conditioning, and after trying to use it unsuccessfully we’ve officially announced it DOA. It’s already in the mid-80s Fahrenheit inside in the afternoons. This summer is going to be awful.

- We celebrated a quiet Mother’s Day with a dinner with my parents at our place, and it was so nasty hot we moved the whole party outside and ate on the patio. That was lovely, and it was overall a great day, but both of us were pretty preoccupied with job worry.

- Among the plants we’ve been growing in the garden we have a basil plant that’s doing quite well. Isobel has picked up the habit of plucking an emerald leaf from the plant and shoving it in her mouth each time she walks by. My Mom got such a kick out of this she told me that my daughter smells like an Italian–or in other words, delicious.

- Occasionally Mom will tell me about something cute one of our cats did and she will end the story by saying, “You should write about that on a cat blog. I’ve seen them on the internet.”

- My lovely friend Laura sent Isobel this fantastic tutu and the fantastic Jett sent us this gorgeous handmade bedspread, which Isobel confiscated immediately and dubbed “the rainbow blanket.” I’m not sure what Isobel loves more, getting presents (because, let’s face it, that’s up there), or getting mail.

- Last weekend we celebrated a double birthday for friends Melynda and Lupe and Mel made herself a rainbow cake. There was some hand-wringing and worry involved since at first the layers seemed to be dull and brownish, but fortunately that was just part of the crust, because the moment we cut into it a goddamn rainbow came out. It looked fantastic.

- I heard Isobel lamenting to one of her classmates, “I only have four kitties.” Poor, poor thing.

Reuse Roundup: DIY Heart Clip. This was a great clip because it took about five minutes, cost barely anything, and Isobel loves it.

Scrapbook: My Mom. A baby photo of my mother looking absolutely terrified. It’s adorable!

Little Big’s Thrifty Mother’s Day Gift Guide. You don’t need to wait for a holiday for these babies.

Little Big Bazaar: The Best of Little Big Sponsors.

Oakland International Cat Video Film Fest. There goes my productivity for the rest of the year! Thanks, Anthony.

Showjumping Rabbit Videos. For when you’ve run out of cat ones. Via @markasaurus

The most important thing men can do to end rape culture.  Via @99golems

NASA TV. “Why watch sports when you can watch this?” I used it to watch the Soyuz touch down safely. Via @kellyasterisk

Don’t make fun of renown author, Dan Brown. “And that, ladies and germs, is how you review a Dan Brown book.” Via @halcyonsnow

Snapshot 05.30.12 - I’m like Bruce Banner, except my secret is I’m always tired.

Recipe: Sweet Seaweed Popcorn - This is really delicious. You’ll have to trust me.

Scrapbook: Melynda’s DIY Murder Mystery Party – This was lots of fun.

Snapshot 5.23.13 – Last year at this time Anthony had his first surgery.

I answer a reader question once a month. Do you have a question for me? I’d love to answer it! If it’s a short one I’ll answer it here. If it’s more complicated, I’ll give it its own post. You can leave your question in the comments, @-reply me on twitter, email it to me at alittlebigblog@gmail.com or send me a messenger pigeon. Don’t actually do the last one, though. My cat will eat it. Be sure to let me know if you want me to include your name and link to your blog or shop. Anonymous questions are fine, too.

Quite a long time ago when Anthony’s cousin Depeche was still mostly a boy but beginning to hit his teenage years he hit a growth spurt. He seemingly grew two feet over a single summer and by the time Halloween rolled around he had completely transformed. He was still young on the inside, however, his personality had yet to grow into its new frame. We started talking about costumes and he mentioned wanting to be a pumpkin. “You should be a corn!” suggested Grandma Juani helpfully.

That story always comes to mind for me whenever I’m sitting over a compost bin pulling the tough husks and silk-soft strings off an ear of corn. I’ve  never really minded this chore but I heard about a new method for shucking that was supposed to be easier and neater and involved the microwave. I was intrigued. I watched the intrepid America’s Test Kitchen chef in this video simply slide the corn out of his husky jacket after a few minutes in a microwave.

Although I’m not a fan of cooking complete meals with a microwave, it is a fantastic technology and I’m very interested in finding new ways to use it. The technique is simple enough: slice the bottoms off an ear of corn about an inch above the stem. Microwave on a plate for 2-4 minutes. Grab the top end and use a combination of shaking and squeezing to release the cob of corn.

I was cooking a bunch of corn for a Mother’s Day dinner with my parents, and my microwave is rather small, so I could only fit a few ears in at a time. This was actually a good thing because I experimented with the timing. I happen to have a 900 watt model, and it seemed that the hotter your corn was when you pulled it out, the easier it was to shuck. At two minutes the corn didn’t want to come out at all and was completely not worth it: there was struggle, mess, and burnt fingers. At four minutes, the corn eased out well, but the ear was so hot I had to wear oven mitts, which made the process at bit more cumbersome and clumsy. The chef in the video just uses his hands like a boss, but I am a delicate flower (ahem) and found them impossible to touch without protection.

At this point when the corn comes out it’s not perfectly clean. There will be some clinging hairs left on the cob, just as you’d have by shucking them the regular way. But keep in mind the cobs are merely peeled, not cooked, so they still need a few minutes in a boiling pot of water before they are ready, and that helps remove any stringy hangers-on.

I really like this method, though I’m not sure I’m going to give up shucking by hand completely. It’s a rather satisfying process, something you can do with your hands while your mind is busy solving abstract algebraic equations or worrying pointlessly about whether or it it will rain on your child’s birthday next year. Or you could watch a rerun of the Bad Girl’s Club. Whatever. It’s a great chore for a kid to learn to do, too, and safer to teach them than using the microwave. But I do think I’ll try it again.

This particular corn was so fresh and good we ate it as is with a smear of butter, a sprinkling of salt and a crack of fresh black pepper. I blanched some asparagus (which was thankfully still good), and my Dad grilled some chicken and we had a lovely meal on the patio. Our heat went out last fall, if you remember, and that means we have no air conditioning, either, so it was a miserable 85 degrees F inside the house. Ugh. It was much cooler on the patio and nicer, too.

It was simple and straightforward and delicious and easy.

As often happens while thrifting, we come across an item that we love and instead of putting it to its regular use we find a new, inventive use for this item. Sometimes we change it not at all, just a little, or completely, and I feature those items here in a segment called Reuse Roundup.

Isobel loves headbands but she still has a problem using them as intended, ie, on her head, as opposed to wearing them around her waist. I always caution her not to do that because they will break, but sometimes she needs to learn these lessons for herself. In this case, she needs to learn it several dozen times.

And so she broke this adorable red sequined headband just moments after leaving our friend’s garage sale. It was so cute, though, that I promised her we’d try to use the red heart for something else.

This glittery red Christmas tree-themed hair clip came to us by way of an estate sale. It’s something I’d have never purchased on its own but it was in a sealed zippy bag with several glass ornaments. It turned out to be the ideal sort of clip for our fine, straight hair, so I popped the tree ornament off with a butter knife and plugged in the glue gun.

I was hoping to be able to loosen the glue that attached the two sides of the felt hearts together so I could slip them between the hair clip, but they were fastened too securely. I ended up making slits in the fabric and wiggling the plastic head band out and trimmed up the silky edges neatly with sharp scissors.

A layer of hot glue later and several impatient minutes of waiting for the glue to set, and it was ready for wearing. I’m really happy with how well it stays in her hair, especially because it has a bit of weight to it. We talked about saving it for Valentine’s day, but someone couldn’t wait.

]]> http://thelittlebigblog.com/2013/05/13/reuse-roundup-diy-heart-hair-clip/feed/ 2 http://thelittlebigblog.com/2013/05/12/scrapbook-my-mom/ http://thelittlebigblog.com/2013/05/12/scrapbook-my-mom/#comments Sun, 12 May 2013 09:43:59 +0000 Carrie Anne http://thelittlebigblog.com/?p=22003

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! Sorry that photographer was so terrifying.

Anthony and I visited a local lavender farm for my first mother’s day. It was lovely.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

maria_bo_bia  I did the gangham style dance at my wedding and I’d like to issue a formal apology to all those affected.

TheBosha  Either I’m reading their promoted tweet incorrectly or @Walgreens is offering to stick their finger up our butts.

danforthfrance  I’ve got a Google Alert set up for the GEICO folk duo’s death. #fingerscrossed

utterben  Let’s spare a thought for all those who had a rough night’s sleep and then have to work in a bed shop all day.

marlespo  ”I won’t beat the troll level for you until you’re dressed from school” – my mornings are normal

marlespo  Sometimes I wish mom was alive so I could ask her what the hell she thought when her 8yo daughter developed her first crush on Gene Wilder

kthorjensen  hot shingles in your area. you’re a roofer and the sun is punishing. you made your choices and now you have to live with them.

elliemce  if you run into an ex just make your body immediately go limp and as you flop to the ground, he’ll know you’re totally over it.

snazzmania  tuna is just cat food you can eat in public

palinode  My top desert island movies are water, food, clothing, shelter and some way off the damn island. Then I’ll watch some movies.

Bosko_DePompo  @exlibris Real estate agents often call ghosts “media centers” in ads

MommyMG  Allie:” OH NO, the car is all wet *stares at it solemnly for a moment*…I guess we need a new car.” Drama child haz all teh dramz

palinode  I’m going for some training today. And when it is done, I will be the master. Of formatting e-newsletters.

Maxine12339  When dressing to go out I always check that my shoes match and I’ve tucked in the crazy.

TheJennaBee  I got a massage yesterday, and today I feel like someone THIS IS SPARTA-ed me down a flight of stairs.

suebob  To wreck Abercrombie & Fitch’s brand, I’m gonna hire all my middle-aged friends to start wearing it ALL THE TIME. Bwaa haa haaa.

KenJennings  I’ve heard a lot of people say I’m a “terrible dad” but I guess they didn’t see me just CRUSHING my daughter at Candy Land tonight.

bobtiki  I wonder how the phrase “shits and giggles” came about. Because, eew.

thejohnblog  I do an *amazing* impression of Chris Tucker when I find a wasp in the car.

wordlust  Your password must contain at least one number, one Avenger, one New Yorker contributor, and no gluten.

alyankovic  Whenever I see a guy with a really huge penis, I always yell, “Sorry about your car!”

JulieFroolie  Is all that candy Crushed yet? Jeez.

sbellelauren  throw coffee at people now they are awake without the nasty side effects of caffeine congratulations you are a hero

annsrants  Some people babywear. I snackwear.

MrLeePerry  I understand language barriers, but why do all international outsourcing spam emails sound like they’re opening a galactic senate hearing?

donni  Business idea: Own a profitable business

ScrewyDecimal  I’ve realized that I feel less anxious when I’m pissed off, so at least I’ve got that going for me today.

biorhythmist  Don’t make me pull this social media platform over

Mortimusgerbil  Do not ask Steve Buscemi for the recipe. Steve Buscemi IS the recipe.

DrMaldoror  My fish’s freeze-dried bloodworms smell distressingly like ramen. We should probably incinerate our emergency ramen stashes now.

robdelaney  “And this is where the magic happens…” *points to king size toilet*

theleanover  It took a couple of hours but I finally roundhouse-kicked my way out of this Panera Bread.

DeanOkay  I bet the hardest part of being in a gang is knowing you can no longer publicly enjoy a cup of hot chocolate

ryankresse  I’ve noticed a whole lot of music has happened since the day the music died, including the song about the day the music died…

ryankresse  Which means that the music has faked its own death and is now living under an assumed name. Probably Dave

joshuamneff  Every time someone sends an email out to a listserv saying they want to unsubscribe, an angel slams its head into a car door.

99golems  the octopus; nature’s pokemon.

theleanover  Shout out to the guy eating a big baked potato on the BART.

catagator  I wonder what the chances of spilling tomato sauce on a new white shirt are.

timeblimp  whammy bar #RejectedMobilePhoneFeatures

timeblimp  A side of ranch dressing #RejectedMobilePhoneFeatures

rockskimmer  Built-in, really loud, non-deactivatable theremin #RejectedMobilePhoneFeatures

rockskimmer  Reminds you that you have no reminders #RejectedMobilePhoneFeatures

lowdudgeon  Small needle that jabs you in the thigh when a call comes in during Silent mode. (Didn’t end up being silent.) #RejectedMobilePhoneFeatures

rockskimmer  Monkey dispenser #RejectedMobilePhoneFeatures

RumblingHoof  Non-emergency cyanide pill #RejectedMobilePhoneFeatures

Quadrupus  Counts your syllables and beeps angrily whenever you fail to speak in iambic pentameter #RejectedMobilePhoneFeatures

Quadrupus  Oozes a syrup that makes everyone feel sad #RejectedMobilePhoneFeatures

lowdudgeon  Infinitely small, yet infinitely dense. Can’t be seen, but weighs 12 tons. Can be used as ballast. #RejectedMobilePhoneFeatures

Stella1070  I think I may have snapped out of my sniveling idiot phase and am back to being a lovable doofus.

Quinn ?@twoshoelaces  Thursday means “day of Thor” and Monday means “day of pokemon”

LouisPeitzman  I almost understand twerking now, so it’s probably time to move on to something else

mariahc  Phone just autocorrected calendar to “cakeasaurus.” Way better.

FarrenSquare  Huh. Turns out you CAN’T kill sadness with cake. I’ll keep trying just in case.

estibrennan  When I’m inevitably found stabbed in the stomach by my own letter opener, someone please tell the police that I really was just THAT clumsy.

annetdonahue “I like all butts equally.” – “May I remind you, Sir, that you’re under oath.” – “…FINE. I like big butts! [begins weeping] I cannot lie.”

SabrinaJalees  To the white girl on the phone asking “When is Cinco de Mayo?” at the bodega: YOU ARE A PUNCHLINE.

nayele18  When a guy makes unwanted advances, I like to talk about my biological clock & yell, “Wait, come back! I’m ovulating!,” as he walks away.

ninatreemonkey  Imagine you are in a field of adorable koalas in flannel shirts. Wrong. They’re eating your face off

slackmistress  Every time I gain a new follower on Twitter, a maxipad gets its wings!

usedwigs  Running down the office stairwell super fast so I don’t have to hold open the door is my new favorite fitness routine. #parkour

jonnysun  what idiot caled it “king arthur adn the knigts of the roumd table” insted of a “circumference sir conference”

meanniegirard  They call me Annie, murderer of piñatas.

JerryThomas  People tell me it’s wrong to shoplift but I just don’t buy it.

jendenbrat  A sign of my growing maturity is how I let my 4yo play with my old teddy bear and then arguing that his name is MR. BUBBLEHEAD, NOT TWITCHY

allisonthemeep  Toms shoes are like having a yurt for your feet.

mikasasucasa  You can’t listen to Ice, Ice Baby and write a folk tale! – a real thing I actually just said to Henry.

smonkyou  I hope this doesn’t sound racist but all the trains on Thomas and Friends look the same.

AristotlesNZ  4 out of 5 dentists recommend that the 5th dentist take a hit off his nitrous tank, chill out, & maybe quit being such a contradicting dick.

WritingInBed  Congrats on your 100 star tweet you dumb idiot.

CJToledano  Forgive me father, for I have sinned, this is my…1,000th confession! *balloons, confetti*

Kyle_Lippert  The other side of my pillow is so cool that it doesn’t respond to my texts.

PeaceInTruth1  I think I just retweeted a little in my pants.

markleggett  If I want someone to hear a song that I like, I don’t actually play it for them, I SING IT TO THEM MYSELF because I am a manual retweeter.

robdelaney  Girl I wanna rip my dick off and throw it at your pussy.

Passiko  All this rain isn’t making me sleepy. It’s making me have to pee.

hayes_t_r  ”I wonder if Descartes doubted his doubt of everything, then doubted that doubt. ” That’s the shit I think about. That’s my cool level.

MmeSurly  the thing about kids is that if they stop talking or kicking your chair they will literally die

samanthajcampen  ”HEHEHEHEHEEEE” “Hear that? That’s a dove.” “AIEEEEEEEEEE!” “And that? Was my sister. It’s hard to tell the difference sometimes.”

TheRedQueen  Watching the Food Network at the gym is like watching porn at church. It just feels wrong.

BettyFckinWhite  You know those sci-fi movies where they have to sleep for several years to reach a distant planet? That sounds amazing, right?

TheRedQueen  Ain’t no party like a house cleaning party, ’cause a house cleaning party don’t stop…ever.

introvertedwife  Our bread doesn’t fit in the toaster. My husband said we need a MegaToaster, but I’m onto his Decepticon plot.

TheDairylandDon  Need to insult someone’s fat mama? There’s a snap for that.

ProfessorSnack  The other night my wife told me I was humming in my sleep. Not a tune, just monotone. Now worried I’m turning into a didgeridoo.

chickenscottpie  Oh, homemade macaroni and cheese. You always just know exactly what to say to make me feel better.

SarcasticRover  Boy, are you signs of life on Mars? Because you’re hard to find and even if you do exist I won’t know what to do with you

yoyology  Goodwoman Brown, Thy Daughter Be Right Comely #ModernSongsMadeOld

DrMaldoror  Wish You Verily To Cause Me Pain? #ModernSongsMadeOld

lowdudgeon  Nine and Ninety Vexations Have I, Yet a Wench Be Not One #ModernSongsMadeOld

yoyology  Baby Got Bustle #ModernSongsMadeOld

yoyology  Somebody That I Know #ModernSongsMadeOld

opheliacat  Light My Pyre #ModernSongsMadeOld

theelleemme  ”I am beset by 99 problems but a witch be not one.” #ModernSongsMadeOld

Hotspur  Constantinople, Still Constantinople #ModernSongsMadeOld

DrMaldoror  By Whose Order Were The Hounds Released? #ModernSongsMadeOld

DrMaldoror  Whoomp! (It Be Yonder) #ModernSongsMadeOld

DrMaldoror  My Milk Punch (Brings All the Lads to the Buttery) #ModernSongsMadeOld

yoyology  It’s All About The Cromwells #ModernSongsMadeOld

hopedellon  All The Spinster Ladies #ModernSongsMadeOld

andylassner  It’s very important as a parent to take the time out to text your kids that you love them

snazzmania  Impromptu Tweetup: scream BOATERCYCLES at the food court and see what happens

snazzmania  next time someone from another state finds out I’m from KY I’m totally gonna use the word “webernet”

lemoneyes  They should never have promised us flying cars. What were they thinking?

MassageByTed  Meet me at Sears for some family planning.

IGotsSmarts  Sorry for judging you but you shouldn’t have bought me the powdered wig and black robe.

LaurelKS  I’m going to eat some ice cream and you can’t stop me, good judgment.

adamochoa  no sorry maybe you were looking for ITT tech? this is just IT tech were we teach you to be a scary ass clown

friedmanjon  Grimacing verb 1. Sharp contortion of the face expressive of pain, contempt, or disgust. 2. Wearing a large purple outfit.

JustLindaSTL  When I get a little too big for my britches, I recall how many tries it takes to get my automatic car windows to stop where I want them to.

FaisalAdam_  Of my various forms of procrastination, the me not dying one is so far my longest and ironically, the most productive.

hipstermermaid  Sriracha sauce is photoshop for food.

calluptome  PMS: what I want in descending order… chocolate, burrito, bong hit, wine, kill someone, no one to speak to me, a sword, more wine, a baby.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

]]> http://thelittlebigblog.com/2013/05/10/follow-friday-lavendar-hollow/feed/ 2 http://thelittlebigblog.com/2013/05/09/21946/ http://thelittlebigblog.com/2013/05/09/21946/#comments Thu, 09 May 2013 10:01:21 +0000 Carrie Anne http://thelittlebigblog.com/?p=21946

I needed to take some time to process our recent news, so I’m taking a break for today. I’ll be back tomorrow with a hilarious Follow Friday post.