Little Big

This week’s Follow Friday post features some photographs of the phenomenon we refer to as “piping.”

Would you like to be a guest photographer for Follow Friday? Email me!

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

mitdasein  I need an Otterbox for my self-esteem.

BeTheBoy  My name is Will and it’s been 14 days since I checked the Twitter feeds of people I really dislike.

jerryrenek  If my Wikipedia bio is to be trusted I have 3 USB ports and I’m forcibly drydocked every year for a barnacle scraping.

MeetYourDaddy  There’s a thin line between “I should tweet about that” and “I should talk to a psychiatrist about that.”

rstevens  NPR just said the final ingredient in cloning human stem cells was caffeine. I’m gonna be bloody immortal.

charliedelta7  In hell, all your Twitter followers are friends and family from facebook.

thebookpolice  Few things make me happier than knowing that if I say “New York City,” at least a dozen people will immediately think “get a rope.”

badbanana  If I’m ever in a coma, don’t try to wake me. I’m doing what I love.

Breadery  Relationship status: Moonlit dancing with my perfume sprayed mop.

theleanover  Girl r u this joke format ’cause I love you.

mitdasein  In its original form, “To Catch a Pre-Dator” was devoted to catching people who retroactively forge documents.

LouisPeitzman  My neighbor’s loud house guests are gone, and now I’m lonely.

ceilck  7th Inning Hungry Jaguar #BaseballMoreInteresting

yoyology  All walks must be silly, as demonstrated by John Cleese #BaseballMoreInteresting

yoyology  Runners tunnel from base to base, a la Bugs Bunny. Extra points for left turn at Albuquerque. #BaseballMoreInteresting

timeblimp  Instead of counting as strikes, the penalty for foul balls will be pneumonia. #BaseballMoreInteresting

yoyology  Bat boys actual bats. RT @DaneNeverSleeps: Bullpen contains actual bulls. #BaseballMoreInteresting

DaneNeverSleeps  Vendors also sell beer and dogs to onfield players. #BaseballMoreInteresting

rockskimmer  Prairie dog town in left #BaseballMoreInteresting

rockskimmer  Every fielder must knit a wearable garment by the end of game, for charity & one run each. Disco scarves=3 runs. #BaseballMoreInteresting

rockskimmer  The Minnesota Conjoined Twins #BaseballMoreInteresting

MrsFridayNext  I am the 20%. RT @FakeLibStats: 20% of a library’s patrons receive 80% of the overdue notices

jess_mc  Ever since I took down my 08 HOPE poster, I can’t get my smoke alarm to stop beeping. I can’t prove it’s Obama, but I think it probably is.

shanethevein  Right now, somewhere out there, there is a stripper named Cinnamon saying “That’s how I roll!”.

MeatMaven  My boy: Ancient Egyptians were weird; they worshiped cats Me: Hmmm…I’ve seen 3 cat videos today alone.

markleggett  There’s no better feeling in this world than waking up, taking a massive dump, and then sliding out of bed.

opinionsbyanna  If Ben murders me tonight it will be because I’m SO BUZZED ON CAFFEINE I cannot stop making annoying noises and twitching

lafix  Everything is a

haiku if you do the words

like this, bitch.

DJRotaryRachel  I’m willing to entertain your ‘Global warming is a hoax’ theory if I can use your pool.

catagator  ”I watched hockey Friday night at Brian’s house and I kind of liked it.” — My husband. Filing for divorce ASAP.

InfiniteChicken  URGENT UPDATE: there is a cat sleeping on my ass.

sween  Today I said “hi” to someone really loud and it sounded like I was doing karate and I have literally never felt so cool.

lovegrrbottle  I have a bag of ice on my crotch. So that’s how my night is going.

willmckinley  Sorry no #FFs this week. My intern Josh is on vacation.

Nina_V  You give love a bad name. Like “Todd” or “Gladys,” probably.

biorhythmist  Turns out my tattoo is actually the Chinese character for ‘Schadenfreude’

isplotchy  It’s not what you know. It’s who you what where am I

BobbyAnthem  I lost 10 followers while I was sleeping. What did you accomplish last night?

torrami  If someone says you make them sick, you should feel slightly guilty but ultimately ecstatic about your new super power.

paleofuture  look i didn’t forget your birthday this year i got you this… *furiously searches pockets* …tweet

Wolfrum  I admire those of you who just go after your dreams every day. You make me feel that it’s ok for me to be a slacker. You got this.

notoriousjwc   It would be super awesome if I could slide off the treadmill directly into a hot tub

morninggloria  Selfie mugshots are the future.

sgnp  Congrats, MN! Looking forward to another freaked out mass-mailing from my conservative relatives this Christmas.

ScrewyDecimal  And as we all know, there’s no “acting like a jackass” in “listen.”

L8enough  All those people who don’t think blogging is a real job? I’m currently filling a photo of Thomas Edison’s lab with cats.

davepell  Repeating this tweet for the evening crew: “The morning crew sort of sucks.”

PoorEvelyn  My idea of dieting is not watching the Food Network after 8:00 PM.

david_cornelius  Good news! The network is moving this sandwich to the coveted time slot of being in my belly.

TimTrueheart  Student loans is the new indentured servitude.

briangaar  I’m appalled that kids play 13 hours of video games a week, that’s not enough to get good at anything

shariv67  This week at Whole Foods everyone who buys kale will receive a FREE air of superiority.

MassageByTed  Ken Burns has a secret version of every documentary he’s ever made that is narrated by Ann Landers. He’s just waiting. Patiently waiting.

sbellelauren  damn gurl do you subscribe to daddy magazine cause you got issues

iamchrisscott  How old could Sting get before people started to suspect something was up. 130? 150?

owlparliament  ”Who knows, it could rule!!” – Me, when faced with something that will almost certainly not rule.

slackmistress  ”LET’S GET SHIT DONE!” – me to @daisyjdog every time we leave for a walk

JerryThomas  Would you be willing to give your life for something larger than yourself? Like, say, World Peace, or 800 pounds of meringue?

99golems  is that maniacal laughter coming from your pants or are you just happy to see me

MrTwoAitch  Was mixing paint. It’s going to take forever to clean these turntables.

wheatandsky  Tired. Incoherent ramblings 100% guaranteed or your money back.

thispartyislame  If I was a witch I would probably just use my powers to turn things into snacks or pillows.

99golems  Bill Nye the Unblinking All-Seeing Eye

Brotherwags  My favorite comedy in life is people who create drama for themselves.

rachelokokok  Can’t wait for my fingers to lose some weight and have less tweet typos.

Caissie  I’m thinking about getting an adult tricycle. Only time wearing a bike helmet would actually make you look cooler?

Goofpoops  If you don’t think I can sit on the couch for 6 hours & eat a pack of Oreos while playing video games then you’ve severely underestimated me

PolyesterPony  I bet having a boyfriend on twitter is like having one in prison, it’s awkward having sex thru a glass partition with everyone watching.

theleanover  Went to play D&D but could only find sex dice so now an elf queen is riding a mage +4 reverse cowgirl.

ApocalypseHow  Mothers Day = Thanksgiving for therapists

pontiuslabar  ”I love you like late 90s house music / loves the transmissions of Russian cosmonauts.” -Pablo Neruda v2.0

jess_mc  My favorite part of Mother’s Day is when the tweets start getting drunk.

VaguelyFunnyDan  Thanks for getting all fat and hungry for 9 months, moms. And much love to adoptive mothers, who carried their babies in their hearts.

mitdasein  I can’t believe some people want to put Flo Rida in Portland’s water.

J__Swift  Occasionally I feel sad I’ll never be a mom but then I look at the cat with the four kittens and I’m all, whew.

Nickadoo  Vanilla Ice’s Mother’s Day cards just say “Word.”

lovegrrbottle  Wrote Ryan a detailed description of breakfast I want tomorrow & told him to look up cute handmade card ideas on Pinterest. I don’t mess.

cwethern  @exlibris I’ll be disappointed if, after changing [all four lightbulbs], he didn’t yell, “THERE. ARE. FOUR. LIGHTS!”

slackmistress  A lot of us are possessed by demons but instead of corrupting mankind they make us eat Funyuns instead.

apatheticist  Your face either hides your brain or reveals it. Either way, I’m glad I can’t see your brain.

pushinghoops  in this economy, you’d be a fool not be your own swagger coach

MsHunnyBunnie  You assholes really need to stop with the donut tweets, unless you’re gonna share.

thispartyislame  I’m sorry I can’t come to your wedding, I already ate.

LastMomOnEarth  It is hard to keep the romance alive when 3/4 of your conversations as a couple are about the ease and consistency of somebody else’s poop.

PinterestFake  These ultra-flammable paper lanterns are worth it for how cute they’ll look in your nursery.

laurenbutt  just bought the best fitting pair of jeans in my life so I guess I’m in a relationship now?

JayInSanAntonio  If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you…. what I’m trying to say is I think I have herpes.

MassageByTed  Man, I slept like a baby last night (full diaper)

mzeld  Live, Laugh, Love, Look at your phone

trumpetcake  This genie said my third wish, “a raccoon with wings,” was unethical.

john_uw  @sgnp yo dawg I herd you like that I herd what you like so I put an ear in my ears so you can like that you like that I herd what you like.

Wolfrum  I admire those of you who just go after your dreams every day. You make me feel that it’s ok for me to be a slacker. You got this.

JulieFroolie  No one’s ever a cold mess. I’m here to change that.

paulverhoeven  Would you rather have your feet replaced with wheels OR LAZERS?

shariv67  Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me three times, I have that many kids.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

Anthony and I visited a local lavender farm for my first mother’s day. It was lovely.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

maria_bo_bia  I did the gangham style dance at my wedding and I’d like to issue a formal apology to all those affected.

TheBosha  Either I’m reading their promoted tweet incorrectly or @Walgreens is offering to stick their finger up our butts.

danforthfrance  I’ve got a Google Alert set up for the GEICO folk duo’s death. #fingerscrossed

utterben  Let’s spare a thought for all those who had a rough night’s sleep and then have to work in a bed shop all day.

marlespo  ”I won’t beat the troll level for you until you’re dressed from school” – my mornings are normal

marlespo  Sometimes I wish mom was alive so I could ask her what the hell she thought when her 8yo daughter developed her first crush on Gene Wilder

kthorjensen  hot shingles in your area. you’re a roofer and the sun is punishing. you made your choices and now you have to live with them.

elliemce  if you run into an ex just make your body immediately go limp and as you flop to the ground, he’ll know you’re totally over it.

snazzmania  tuna is just cat food you can eat in public

palinode  My top desert island movies are water, food, clothing, shelter and some way off the damn island. Then I’ll watch some movies.

Bosko_DePompo  @exlibris Real estate agents often call ghosts “media centers” in ads

MommyMG  Allie:” OH NO, the car is all wet *stares at it solemnly for a moment*…I guess we need a new car.” Drama child haz all teh dramz

palinode  I’m going for some training today. And when it is done, I will be the master. Of formatting e-newsletters.

Maxine12339  When dressing to go out I always check that my shoes match and I’ve tucked in the crazy.

TheJennaBee  I got a massage yesterday, and today I feel like someone THIS IS SPARTA-ed me down a flight of stairs.

suebob  To wreck Abercrombie & Fitch’s brand, I’m gonna hire all my middle-aged friends to start wearing it ALL THE TIME. Bwaa haa haaa.

KenJennings  I’ve heard a lot of people say I’m a “terrible dad” but I guess they didn’t see me just CRUSHING my daughter at Candy Land tonight.

bobtiki  I wonder how the phrase “shits and giggles” came about. Because, eew.

thejohnblog  I do an *amazing* impression of Chris Tucker when I find a wasp in the car.

wordlust  Your password must contain at least one number, one Avenger, one New Yorker contributor, and no gluten.

alyankovic  Whenever I see a guy with a really huge penis, I always yell, “Sorry about your car!”

JulieFroolie  Is all that candy Crushed yet? Jeez.

sbellelauren  throw coffee at people now they are awake without the nasty side effects of caffeine congratulations you are a hero

annsrants  Some people babywear. I snackwear.

MrLeePerry  I understand language barriers, but why do all international outsourcing spam emails sound like they’re opening a galactic senate hearing?

donni  Business idea: Own a profitable business

ScrewyDecimal  I’ve realized that I feel less anxious when I’m pissed off, so at least I’ve got that going for me today.

biorhythmist  Don’t make me pull this social media platform over

Mortimusgerbil  Do not ask Steve Buscemi for the recipe. Steve Buscemi IS the recipe.

DrMaldoror  My fish’s freeze-dried bloodworms smell distressingly like ramen. We should probably incinerate our emergency ramen stashes now.

robdelaney  “And this is where the magic happens…” *points to king size toilet*

theleanover  It took a couple of hours but I finally roundhouse-kicked my way out of this Panera Bread.

DeanOkay  I bet the hardest part of being in a gang is knowing you can no longer publicly enjoy a cup of hot chocolate

ryankresse  I’ve noticed a whole lot of music has happened since the day the music died, including the song about the day the music died…

ryankresse  Which means that the music has faked its own death and is now living under an assumed name. Probably Dave

joshuamneff  Every time someone sends an email out to a listserv saying they want to unsubscribe, an angel slams its head into a car door.

99golems  the octopus; nature’s pokemon.

theleanover  Shout out to the guy eating a big baked potato on the BART.

catagator  I wonder what the chances of spilling tomato sauce on a new white shirt are.

timeblimp  whammy bar #RejectedMobilePhoneFeatures

timeblimp  A side of ranch dressing #RejectedMobilePhoneFeatures

rockskimmer  Built-in, really loud, non-deactivatable theremin #RejectedMobilePhoneFeatures

rockskimmer  Reminds you that you have no reminders #RejectedMobilePhoneFeatures

lowdudgeon  Small needle that jabs you in the thigh when a call comes in during Silent mode. (Didn’t end up being silent.) #RejectedMobilePhoneFeatures

rockskimmer  Monkey dispenser #RejectedMobilePhoneFeatures

RumblingHoof  Non-emergency cyanide pill #RejectedMobilePhoneFeatures

Quadrupus  Counts your syllables and beeps angrily whenever you fail to speak in iambic pentameter #RejectedMobilePhoneFeatures

Quadrupus  Oozes a syrup that makes everyone feel sad #RejectedMobilePhoneFeatures

lowdudgeon  Infinitely small, yet infinitely dense. Can’t be seen, but weighs 12 tons. Can be used as ballast. #RejectedMobilePhoneFeatures

Stella1070  I think I may have snapped out of my sniveling idiot phase and am back to being a lovable doofus.

Quinn ?@twoshoelaces  Thursday means “day of Thor” and Monday means “day of pokemon”

LouisPeitzman  I almost understand twerking now, so it’s probably time to move on to something else

mariahc  Phone just autocorrected calendar to “cakeasaurus.” Way better.

FarrenSquare  Huh. Turns out you CAN’T kill sadness with cake. I’ll keep trying just in case.

estibrennan  When I’m inevitably found stabbed in the stomach by my own letter opener, someone please tell the police that I really was just THAT clumsy.

annetdonahue “I like all butts equally.” – “May I remind you, Sir, that you’re under oath.” – “…FINE. I like big butts! [begins weeping] I cannot lie.”

SabrinaJalees  To the white girl on the phone asking “When is Cinco de Mayo?” at the bodega: YOU ARE A PUNCHLINE.

nayele18  When a guy makes unwanted advances, I like to talk about my biological clock & yell, “Wait, come back! I’m ovulating!,” as he walks away.

ninatreemonkey  Imagine you are in a field of adorable koalas in flannel shirts. Wrong. They’re eating your face off

slackmistress  Every time I gain a new follower on Twitter, a maxipad gets its wings!

usedwigs  Running down the office stairwell super fast so I don’t have to hold open the door is my new favorite fitness routine. #parkour

jonnysun  what idiot caled it “king arthur adn the knigts of the roumd table” insted of a “circumference sir conference”

meanniegirard  They call me Annie, murderer of piñatas.

JerryThomas  People tell me it’s wrong to shoplift but I just don’t buy it.

jendenbrat  A sign of my growing maturity is how I let my 4yo play with my old teddy bear and then arguing that his name is MR. BUBBLEHEAD, NOT TWITCHY

allisonthemeep  Toms shoes are like having a yurt for your feet.

mikasasucasa  You can’t listen to Ice, Ice Baby and write a folk tale! – a real thing I actually just said to Henry.

smonkyou  I hope this doesn’t sound racist but all the trains on Thomas and Friends look the same.

AristotlesNZ  4 out of 5 dentists recommend that the 5th dentist take a hit off his nitrous tank, chill out, & maybe quit being such a contradicting dick.

WritingInBed  Congrats on your 100 star tweet you dumb idiot.

CJToledano  Forgive me father, for I have sinned, this is my…1,000th confession! *balloons, confetti*

Kyle_Lippert  The other side of my pillow is so cool that it doesn’t respond to my texts.

PeaceInTruth1  I think I just retweeted a little in my pants.

markleggett  If I want someone to hear a song that I like, I don’t actually play it for them, I SING IT TO THEM MYSELF because I am a manual retweeter.

robdelaney  Girl I wanna rip my dick off and throw it at your pussy.

Passiko  All this rain isn’t making me sleepy. It’s making me have to pee.

hayes_t_r  ”I wonder if Descartes doubted his doubt of everything, then doubted that doubt. ” That’s the shit I think about. That’s my cool level.

MmeSurly  the thing about kids is that if they stop talking or kicking your chair they will literally die

samanthajcampen  ”HEHEHEHEHEEEE” “Hear that? That’s a dove.” “AIEEEEEEEEEE!” “And that? Was my sister. It’s hard to tell the difference sometimes.”

TheRedQueen  Watching the Food Network at the gym is like watching porn at church. It just feels wrong.

BettyFckinWhite  You know those sci-fi movies where they have to sleep for several years to reach a distant planet? That sounds amazing, right?

TheRedQueen  Ain’t no party like a house cleaning party, ’cause a house cleaning party don’t stop…ever.

introvertedwife  Our bread doesn’t fit in the toaster. My husband said we need a MegaToaster, but I’m onto his Decepticon plot.

TheDairylandDon  Need to insult someone’s fat mama? There’s a snap for that.

ProfessorSnack  The other night my wife told me I was humming in my sleep. Not a tune, just monotone. Now worried I’m turning into a didgeridoo.

chickenscottpie  Oh, homemade macaroni and cheese. You always just know exactly what to say to make me feel better.

SarcasticRover  Boy, are you signs of life on Mars? Because you’re hard to find and even if you do exist I won’t know what to do with you

yoyology  Goodwoman Brown, Thy Daughter Be Right Comely #ModernSongsMadeOld

DrMaldoror  Wish You Verily To Cause Me Pain? #ModernSongsMadeOld

lowdudgeon  Nine and Ninety Vexations Have I, Yet a Wench Be Not One #ModernSongsMadeOld

yoyology  Baby Got Bustle #ModernSongsMadeOld

yoyology  Somebody That I Know #ModernSongsMadeOld

opheliacat  Light My Pyre #ModernSongsMadeOld

theelleemme  ”I am beset by 99 problems but a witch be not one.” #ModernSongsMadeOld

Hotspur  Constantinople, Still Constantinople #ModernSongsMadeOld

DrMaldoror  By Whose Order Were The Hounds Released? #ModernSongsMadeOld

DrMaldoror  Whoomp! (It Be Yonder) #ModernSongsMadeOld

DrMaldoror  My Milk Punch (Brings All the Lads to the Buttery) #ModernSongsMadeOld

yoyology  It’s All About The Cromwells #ModernSongsMadeOld

hopedellon  All The Spinster Ladies #ModernSongsMadeOld

andylassner  It’s very important as a parent to take the time out to text your kids that you love them

snazzmania  Impromptu Tweetup: scream BOATERCYCLES at the food court and see what happens

snazzmania  next time someone from another state finds out I’m from KY I’m totally gonna use the word “webernet”

lemoneyes  They should never have promised us flying cars. What were they thinking?

MassageByTed  Meet me at Sears for some family planning.

IGotsSmarts  Sorry for judging you but you shouldn’t have bought me the powdered wig and black robe.

LaurelKS  I’m going to eat some ice cream and you can’t stop me, good judgment.

adamochoa  no sorry maybe you were looking for ITT tech? this is just IT tech were we teach you to be a scary ass clown

friedmanjon  Grimacing verb 1. Sharp contortion of the face expressive of pain, contempt, or disgust. 2. Wearing a large purple outfit.

JustLindaSTL  When I get a little too big for my britches, I recall how many tries it takes to get my automatic car windows to stop where I want them to.

FaisalAdam_  Of my various forms of procrastination, the me not dying one is so far my longest and ironically, the most productive.

hipstermermaid  Sriracha sauce is photoshop for food.

calluptome  PMS: what I want in descending order… chocolate, burrito, bong hit, wine, kill someone, no one to speak to me, a sword, more wine, a baby.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.