Today’s post follows our yearly tradition of releasing ladybugs into our garden as a form of natural pest-control and educational activity for the kids. Have a great weekend!
What is a Follow Friday post? It’s a blog series I created a few years ago based on a Twitter meme. Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here. Would you like to be a guest photographer for Follow Friday? Email me!
bingowings14 I offered someone some advice about suppositories. Hope they didn’t take it the wrong way.
MindyFurano if you can’t handle me at my worst is there another preferably more affordable therapist you can refer me to
ranjit Sir Mix-a-lot likes big butts and cannot lie. His twin brother does not like big butts and cannot tell the truth. You may ask one question.
WGladstone Just realized Franz Kafka was a lawyer so he was Kafka, esq.
primawesome I’ll bet Trump combs his balls over the top of his dick.
Caissie Nobody on this train is decent enough to give up their seat for a pregnant woman & now I gotta stand here w/my sweater balled up in my coat.
AddledPixie Someone said our best tweets come from a dark place which makes sense because I pull most of mine out of my ass.
iamspacegirl  Romeo: But, soft! Juliet: lol butt. Romeo: HAHAHA Juliet: soft butts *they die laughing*
inversejaik I wonder if the guy who does @realDonaldTrump’s tweets got nicknamed “The Mouth of Sauron”
johnmoe tfw you have financing all set but your leading man drops out due to “scheduling” & you realize you’ll never make Scott Bakula: Hot Dracula.
rstevens On reflection, eating the Rice Krispie Treats that were in my car for a week may have been a character-building exercise
000___000 every time i go to the bathroom at work, my phone thinks i’m in peoria, illinois. i must be passing through some kind of stargate omw there
JennyJohnsonHi5 I just assume Prince George sounds like Stewie Griffin.
ablington Seems like Kasich is basically using campaign money to sample regional sandwiches across the country. I respect this.
TheCatWhisprer Staring at my phone in the streets. Staring at my phone in the sheets.
kibblesmith Amazon is a $250 billion dollar company that reacts to you buying a vacuum by going THIS GUY LOVES BUYING VACUUMS HERE ARE SOME MORE VACUUMS
LadyLardman I’d play a game called clash of clams.
JustinSRobinson I misheard kettle corn as cattle porn and this Dodger game got weird.
vladchoc I’m here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. Also need to look at my taxes. And lose weight. Gaah. May need to reschedule the gum and ass stuff.
VaguelyHorrible The year is 2XXX. I’m in court for violations of the No Wankin’ It to Puns Act. “YOU CAN’T PROVE NUTTIN'” I yell at the prosecutor.
JulieFroolie Intrigues me how the worst spellers are the most copious posters on the internet. They will not be oppressed! It’s brave.
rstevens Microwave popcorn sales have gone way down since they rebranded it “Orville Pleasure”
RiverClegg The constant threat of being photographed on the train is more effective than any secret police have ever been.
DavidBHayter Do you think the sun’s ever like, “Yeah… Seven billion followers. Suck on that, Alpha Centauri.”
daemonic3 INTERVIEWER: Do you have any special talents? “I can tell how many pulls will stop a ceiling fan by looking at it” INTERVIEWER: Holy shit
InternetHippo Is there a sequel to The Ugly Duckling for the rest of us who remained ugly into adulthood?
rachelle_mandik most vending-machine shaking incidents are elaborate coverups by people who don’t want to be seen hugging the machine and saying i love you
audipenny My neighbors are blasting music at a late hour but Im going to be chill about it by climbing into their house while screaming “I like this”
ericsshadow 100 dads were asked why they don’t listen. The most popular answer was “What?”
poopcutie sorry everyone on dating sites I actually love bullshit and drama
joshgondelman A ticket on the windshield of a moving car is as close as a motor vehicle gets to a teardrop tattoo.
Jackclemens1 I just ate a sticker on an apple and I am not afraid of the consequences even legal ones
jackiembouvier I just rolled my eyes so hard I flipped my mattress.
UncleDynamite When the ER doctor makes a video of your story about falling on a spring roll, trust me, he’s not doing it in the name of science.
EricMGosselin I hope my son grows up & appreciates the times I saved him from putting his poopy hands in his mouth and doesn’t focus on the times I failed
joshjs Parenting is hard because it’s a lot of work and my kid doesn’t get any of my movie quotes
rachelle_mandik oh, i know the truth is out there. that’s why i’m in here.
JElvisWeinstein Siri, distract my Fitbit while I eat this pie.
rstevens We all just want to live the American Dream (being able to pay our bills without having to talk to anybody)
loather A broken clock is right twice a day unless it’s an Apple Watch
danforthfrance Making a handmade sign? Sprinkle some apostrophes and quotation marks in there.
TheThomason The Panama Papers reveal I have a user profile on the Domino’s website. I am ashamed and will resign from public life immediately.
idiot_teen my parents did a terrible job of distributing my skill points
trumpetcake My origami brownies are the worst of both worlds.