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These photos were taken the day before Isobel’s first day of first grate, which is going splendidly. Have a great weekend!

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ.See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

lazerdoov  Turns out my parents got divorced because they were trying to text one another with calculators for 3 years and just drifted apart

theshrillest  well, I hope we’ve all learned a very important lesson from today’s events. not sure exactly what lesson that is but I hope we learned it

shariv67  *Lets the call of Cthulu go to voicemail*

tanehisicoates  I was 8 years old. My brother was the DM. Other kids’ older brother’s bullied them. Mine let me walk out into the world with 3 hit-points.

MrWordsWorth  The weather is so muggy it demanded all my money and made me go to the ATM to give it more.

mackymoo  I was complaining to someone about the humidity and they thought I said humanity. #notwrong

joshgondelman  “I’m just saying what everyone’s thinking!” Don’t. That’s why they invented thinking.

michaeljnelson  I would buy an electric car, but my only experience is them popping out of their slot track, tumbling across the floor and hitting my dog.

MarcTweetsHere  An energy drink-addicted Muppet called Monster Monster

joshgondelman  I just saw a guy with the anarchy symbol tattooed on his face which is the only place I respect one of those.

mulaney  i mean @realDonaldTrump if you’re so good at negotiating how come you couldn’t get @DonaldTrump

PoliticalLine  Bobby Jindal is so low in the polls that he might need to attack Deez Nuts platform to boost name recognition

iboudreau  It’s so hot that the Gatorade I’m chugging just leaks straight into my shirt armpits.

rilaws  Imagine being all excited about the sexy affair you arranged online after months/years of working up the nerve and then Josh Duggar shows up

NicestHippo  To kids who are struggling with the challenges of college life, please remember: it gets so much worse

zachbraff  I don’t know who Ashley Madison is, but I’m tired of hearing about her massive dump.

JennyPentland  this luggage carousel is making me want sushi

Kayte_Kat  My favorite childhood memory: not paying bills

ImAmandaNelson  I just told my kid good night and he responded “Bye Feh-lee-shlia”

ClevelandPoet  Every day my coworker sees me he asks “did you run yesterday?” I’m pretty sure no jury would convict me.

RiverClegg  It’s amazing how, with just a little practice, I’m virtually no better at guitar.

MavenofHonor  My low blood sugar TED Talk “FOODS: What Are It & How To Obtain” has been canceled due to recent findings (a granola bar).

NathanielWagg  DARRYL: i can’t kill him! He’s my wife’s cousin’s orthodontist! RICK: that ain’t your wife’s cousin’s orthodontist no more

KalvinMacleod  WIFE: I love the oaky, earthen taste of this wine. FRIEND: Mine is both crisp and full-bodied. ME: [corks on my teeth] I am Count Corkula.

RiverClegg  Every NASA employee got their job by correctly guessing the number of jelly beans in one of those big jars.

SamGrittner  Behind every great woman is another great woman. They’re everywhere.

weinerdog4life  Welcome to the jungle we got fun and games just kidding bugs and diarrhea have fun dickhead

TheWoodenslurpy  Your secrets are safe with me because I literally won’t remember them. This also applies to your birthday. Your birthdays are safe with me.

JohnLyonTweets  Danger? I text LOL to danger.

jlock17  I never realized my dog has the same last name as me until I took him to the vet.

TheTimmyToes  [makes a voodoo doll of himself] [gives it a little back rub]

KeatonPatti  Fuck the police. Marry the fire department. Kill the post office.

waferbaby  The best thing I saw today was two pregnant ladies trying to hug.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ.See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

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