–I’m still stuck in the Crohn’s loop of eating only the things that won’t make a bad situation worse, so it’s all hard boiled eggs, broth, saltines, and hummus. Sometimes to break the monotony I’ll have a simple white meat turkey sandwich on non-whole wheat bread, but that can push it. I really like these things, but after a few weeks of eggs, broth, more eggs, and more broth, I think my taste buds are beginning to die off from boredom. You know it’s bad when you eat your daily gummy bear vitamins and their ersatz fruit flavor tastes absolutely incredible. I took a chance last week and thoroughly cooked some asparagus and minced mushrooms and ate it with white rice and regretted it. The amazing taste wasn’t worth the pain. There was a party in my tummy and everyone was starting fires and tipping over parked cars. The next day, because I’m a glutton for punishment, and gluttony in general, I tried eating some pumpkin I pureed into a sauce over some egg noodles. It was also amazing and I didn’t feel like an alien was trying to escape through my belly.
–Last weekend my illness caused me to miss out on no less than three parties, on of which was a bridal shower in honor of my talented friend Melynda who is marrying longtime partner and my friend, Justin. As a bridesmaid I was asked to bring something to celebrate potluck-style. I was stuck in the awkward position of wanting to bring something I could tolerate eating that the other guests would actually want to eat. Melynda was very kind and said I could bring hard-boiled eggs, no worries, even though she doesn’t eat eggs. I discussed, jokingly, my ridiculous situation with Ellen, who suggested I go ahead and bring my broth and serve it in fancy goblets. Eventually I decided to bring hard-boiled eggs and hummus with pita, but in the end I was too sick to even go.
–If you follow me on social media such as Twitter or the Facebook you are no doubt aware of our latest adventure with lice. LICE, OMFG. I have it, Isobel has it, the baby, so far does not have it. Thank the sweet babby Picard jesus. When I attempted eating pumpkin yesterday I was worried it would go badly and Anthony would come home to find me dead on the floor covered in lice, because I know the power of thinking positive. I spent a buttload of money on pharmaceutical lice solutions at the drugstore because I don’t fuck around, and as soon as we got home I plopped Isobel in the bath and began my anti-lice crusade. We watched a video on lice treatment and three seconds in the video mentions that discovering you have lice is very emotionally disturbing. I think Isobel and I nodded along at that part, though my feelings could be more accurately described as “cry-barf.” After I treated Isobel to my satisfaction and stripped our beds of linen I called my mom to watch the kids while I performed the arduous task of treating myself. I have very long hair and the combing process itself took nearly three hours. When Anthony came home he said, “At least your hair looks fabulous from all the combing!” I had to buy extra bottles of medicine to be sure I had enough to cover all my hair, and each box came with two combs. I have so many combs lying around the house I’m going to pass them out to kids come Halloween. Isobel is sad she can’t wear her cat ears and I am sad she is missing out on three days of school, minimum. She is handling is so well overall. Her maturity has really been showing lately and it’s something that I adore even as it cuts my heart out.
–When I feel better I’m going to put together a collection of recipes of food I can eat during a Crohn’s flare. A Crohn’s cookbook.
–Elias took his first steps! I was the only witness as it happened when Anthony was at work and Isobel was walking away from us. He was trying to walk to follow Isobel as she went into the next room. The second time was in front of all three of us which allayed Anthony and Isobel’s jealousy at having missed it. He said “Dada” for the first time last week, too, right to Anthony. He rarely talks using words. He prefers making clicks, shrieks, smacks and whistles to talking. He’s our precious little beatboxing dolphin.
–Some people see me reflected in Isobel’s features, while others only see Anthony. The majority, of which I’m a part, see a solid 50-50. Lately I’ve decided that she looks like me if I was Guatemalan.
FLAMES ON THE SIDE OF MY FACE: A Tribute to the Women of Clue. “If you don’t wake up once a month and say out loud, ‘Damn. Madeline Kahn is dead,’ we have nothing in common.” I absolutely feel this way.
How to Get Over the Feeling That You’re Not Good Enough for Your Job. I feel this way all the time, and I don’t even have a job.
20 hilarious knitting fails. Don’t give up, you guys!
151 Year old bottle of wine from a US Civil War Shipwreck gets tasted. From the description, it sounds exquisite.
The first legit use of a selfie stick. I’m going to get one, and I’m going to take it to the zoo.
Official Korrasami Art. I haven’t seen all of LOK yet, but I did take a sneak peek at the awesome ending.
When I get home at the end of the day. There are times when I feel this way all the time.