Today I am beyond honored to feature the great Schmutzie of blog and iphoneography fame as our guest photographer for June. Schmutzie was one of the first people I met on Twitter and I remember being bowled over by how smart, funny, and kind she was. I remember being so flattered that she would engage with a total n00b like me. Enjoy her photography!
Elan Morgan lives, writes, and photographs in Regina, Saskatchewan. She blogs, designs, and consults through Schmutzie.com, spreads gratitude through Grace in Small Things, celebrates Canadian blogging with the Canadian Weblog Awards, and speaks all over. She believes in and works to grow both personal and professional quality, genuine community, and meaningful content online.
What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further. Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.
heyitsIsobel I like to eat while I exercise.
FilthyRichmond As a parent I must refer to Vine & Instagram video as “Youtubes”.
99golems “i have to eat these donuts but i have no mouth” – a horror movie
DeanOkay Depression is an invisible ankle bracelet
donni Fined for having an illegal butt
ModernSauce I permanently look like the Neville Longbottom before shot.
theleanover Sometimes I wonder if bands like the Black Eyed Peas are part of a cultural IQ test being run by sociologists at the CIA.
smonkyou With autocorrect I think you’d need a lot less than 1000 monkeys to write Hamlet.
MommyMG In terms of TV doctors: Who > Phil, who is ? Oz
WilliamAder GANDALF DIED?
Smethanie You know how you put a cover over a bird’s cage to make it calm down? I wish you could do that with kids.
kelkulus “Your ass is mine, bitch!” I said to the dog as I stole her donkey.
iscoff If I thought that it was a better name than Snoop Dogg, I’d be Snoop Lion
tejucole Ain’t saying she a gold digger, but it’s 1849 and she’s in a riverbed in the Sierra Nevada with a shovel and a pan.
RideOrDiePudge Trying to get in touch with my feelings so I can eat them.
StevenBrust How to score with women: 1.Pick a sportsball game 2.Get a woman on your team. 3. Score some points. See what I did there?
rachelokokok Sometimes I lay around and think “that lucky girl!!!” of whoever will end up with me. And she’s probably thinking “oh dear.”
ProfessorSnack He left this world like he came in, screaming about a weird experience involving a vagina.
ProfessorSnack He died like he lived, just with less breathing involved.
ruthakers College should ideally be more like chain restaurants. Where courses are 2 for $11.99.
donni Basketham is like basketball, except you just get a basket of delicious ham. It’s way better, actually
Psquatch please officer, it was sports made me flay this bison
markleggett Just reported someone for spam. Raw power courses through my veins. I flip over several cars. SWAT arrives, but I report them for spam too…
DannyZuker “My name is James Bond.” #WrongFilmQuotes
jammyink “show me the monkey!” #WrongFilmQuotes
abbytron “All work and no play makes Jack a real asset to the company.” #WrongFilmQuotes
MeganBoley Does twitter email my Canadian friends that someone has “favourited” their tweet.
LaetPO To err is human; to forgive, divine; to ignore, healthier; to defenestrate, more fun.
caroramsey i before e except onLY SOMETIMES AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING, ENGLISH
trevso_electric Relationships take hard work and just kidding you’re still young and there are 7,158,893,537 people in the world, run away and start over.
Handflapper Maroon 5 song came on and I didn’t switch the station and now we know I’ve really and truly given up on life.
MassageByTed It took me a while to lick every pair of sunglasses at the Sunglass Hut, but by god I did it.
awrightbrian If I’d wanted my child bitten, I’d have homeschooled her.
NikkiGlaser I hope Kim and Kanye stick to the K names and call her Potassium.
JasonLastname The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest
apelad Surely by now there have been a thousand movies based on the Hero with a Thousand Faces. Time to move on to other things with lots of faces.
EricDaDadourian My diaper is so full of itself.
helgagrace If I were a character I would be Hotness Everdean.
InfiniteChicken I wonder if Clint Eastwood is still talking to that chair.
MassageByTed When I give PowerPoint presentations I hold an upward-pointing flashlight below my boobs to make upsetting shadows.
CloydRivers The colors red, white and blue represent freedom. Until they’re flashin’ behind you. Merica.
VPace To be fair, Sarah Palin understood EXACTLY what Miss Utah was trying to say.
abhorrent_wife Sometimes you set a good example, sometimes you wear a snap pea as a mustache at the table.
JRehling “I’m not a person morning.” –Monday
LouisPeitzman If you opened your eyes and Benedict Cumberbatch was staring into them, you’d scream. Don’t lie to me.
elliemce ugh i lost my phone feels like losing a limb (also lost my phone when i was holding it in hand that got severed off in a terrible accident)
jennyvsjenny it just seems to me that a “bounce” house should play bounce music. so congratulations amelia, your 5th birthday party sucked.
trumpetcake “May I pay in moonbeams?” is the first question I ask at any establishment.
rstevens I’m such a good meditator that when a mosquito lands on my arm, I can use my blood pressure to make it explode #BESTMONK
TheBloggess Hard to get ahold of my dad today bc he’s traveling on a “squirrel-hunting expedition.” My dad is living my cat’s dreams.
cloudcm success is made out of failures stitched together with time, so when someone tells you you’re a failure, tell them good, now fuck off mister
ItsMattRVA A cool thing about being a dad is that, despite your current appearance, everyone knows you were once attractive enough to have sex.
snazzmania I’ve got the best hired goons, they really do a beat-em-up job
DadBoner Gotta raise a cold one for all the other Dads out there from coast to coast. Our carnal passions built the future of the USA, you guys.
robayre If you drive by & see grown adult women pelting a 3 yo boy with pinecones, just know this game was his idea & he’s saying “hit me, hit me!”
hopiecan He loves white linen pants. It’s his biggest Miami vice.
FlyoverJoel I forgot to wear my wedding ring to the grocery store and I totally picked up this hot deal on fresh corn.
alwysabridesmd Just saw a guy wearing a tshirt that said “I make adorable babies.” I must respectfully disagree with you sir!!
HonestToddler Happy Father’s Day! Of all the things your toddler has broken, your spirit was probably the most rewarding. Love u.
flipflops I feel like we live in an age so advanced that we don’t have to give up softness for strength in toilet paper. Is that too radical?
Squirreljustice Go towards the light, Carol Ann. No, the other one. That’s just me in a bathing suit.
mitdasein The future’s so bright, I gotta throw shade.
HaleyMancini Here’s to my dad, who once butt-dialed me 24 times in a row.
calluptome Pinched a hipster in Brooklyn just to watch him sigh.
JRehling The thing I can never understand when I see a hockey game is how they found twelve Canadians who are so impolite.
Molly_Kats Watches ‘The Dark Knight Rises’ – talks like Bane for the next 29 hours.
apatheticist Pro Tip: Always buy the same color Gatorade as your shirt is.
willgoldstein I own 3 blazers and they all have spit up stains on them. By having children I have forfeited my right to be fancy for any occasion.
steveroggenbuck there shoud be a t-shirt that says “I’M A MOTHERFUCKING DAD”
aclevergirl “But let’s arrange it all so that our hotel guests end up watching themselves on the toilet in a mirror.” — contemporary hotel architects
theleanover There’s a lot of sexual tension between me and this Pringles can I’ve basically been fisting all night.
Lilacmess Found an old sheet in my scribblish game: “There’s a stripper in my pool” eventually became “inflatable boobs won’t save you from drowning”
MassageByTed For a Father’s Day present to my dad, I kept my opinion about cruises to myself through most of dinner.
morninggloria Does ‘friends with benefits’ mean a pal you have sex with or a pal you marry because they’ve got great insurance?
badbanana “I cried because I had no feet, but then I saw a guy wearing those weird rubber toe shoes and now I can’t stop laughing.”
introvertedwife It’s so humid outside I saw Aquaman going for a jog.
milonguera Today two dogs that are not my own ran into my house and terrorized my cats. Joaquín was yelling WE CAN KEEP THEM! WE HAVE DOGS NOW!
morninggloria If you’ve always wanted a companion who sits in a box and watches the door hoping someone cooler comes and takes them away, get a cat.
wilw Pride of lions, flock of geese, spinster of cats.
wordlust My favorite voicemails from my mom are the ones that ask me to disregard her other voicemails.
nathan210 All my years on this planet have taught me basically one thing: humans like shiny things.
ToeKneeSam My cat kneads me.
shariv67 The five stages of waking up: 1. Denial 2. Bargaining 3. Anger 4. Depression 5. Coffee
sarcasmically We made it five fully-clothed days into summer break before the kids became half-naked swamp beasts.
emilysteers there has to be an ironic law name for the fact that, without fail, there will always be a chubby old guy in your apartment complex pool.
trumpetcake Now you can have the sound of wind chimes with you wherever you go with CHIMEHAT™!
theneener It’s like there’s a party in my large intestines and the partygoers aren’t sure if they should leave or not.
iscoff I can fit my whole fist in my mouth but I had to blend it first
DrMaldoror Over on Facebook I’m planning a peanut-butter-based series of cozy mysteries. So, I’ve had worse Fridays.
Disalmanac Today in 1928, Che Guevara was born. He’s popular on hipster T-shirts because they think he’s the Frito Bandito.
JohnFugelsang Man of Steel tells the story of a space alien who believes he can have a paid career in print media.
biorhythmist If the eggplant is your most-used emoji we can probably be friends
rev_rev_rev_rev i made a graph of the reasons i’ve been dumped in the past. this is the ex-axis and this is the why-axis
frenchielaboozi ah i seeeee i thought when you said you wanted to start a family it was understood i would be the baby
VaguelyFunnyDan You can tell me how worthless Facebook is, but how the fuck else would I know the left tackle on my 4th grade football team likes Costco?
knottyyarn Old boss used to play “Crazy in Love” to get us jazzed about mundane shit; been 10 years, but I can finally hear it w/out thinking “murder”
quantumpotpie I don’t miss smoking but I do miss all the time outside.
rstevens If only there were some of that brown water what makes me want to live.
wordlust I’m scared of ghosts, intimacy, and intimacy with ghosts.
rstevens As your life coach, I am sad to say we are cutting you from the team. Sorry.