Recipe: Easy Cheddar WTF Biscuits

Once upon a time my friend Justin stumbled upon a recipe for four-ingredient biscuits and it became an instant hit. They were so fast, so delicious, so surprisingly easy that one bite was enough to make one drop the f-bomb in delight. The simple, four recipe base can be found here and with it you are never more than fifteen minutes’ work away from fluffy, creamy biscuit-y goodness. After a friend told me she made this with cheddar cheese and chives and it was divine. She’s even used this dough to make cinnamon rolls so I’m dubbing her Master of the Fucking Biscuits.

I have heard talk all over the internets praising the cheddar biscuits served at Red Lobster, and I’m told these are supposed to be similar. I’ve never actually eaten at Red Lobster, as the town I live in has never had one. I’d have to drive a few towns over to sample some of their famous biscuits. And as long as I’m being confessional, I’ve never actually eaten lobster, either. My family never cooked seafood much at home and it was always too expensive in restaurants. I would totally try one if the opportunity came about, though. So, where were we? Ah, yes, biscuits.

So Isobel’s been under the weather for the past week or so and I kept her home from school a bit last week. One of our favorite things to do together that doesn’t involve going outside is cooking, so I took advantage of a long afternoon with nothing to do to make the cheddar version of WTF biscuits. This recipe makes about ten biscuits, and as delicious as they certainly are, no one needs that many biscuits in their diet. We cooked six so we could each have one for lunch and we could save the rest to have with Anthony at dinner. The remaining four I placed on parchment paper and slid into a plastic zippy bag and tossed in the freezer. I wrote what they were and the month I added them into the freezer, but that ended up not being necessary. The following week I baked them, straight from the freezer, at the same time and temperature and they were perfect to eaten with sunny side up fried eggs for a family breakfast.

• 2 cups unbleached white flour
• 1 tbs baking powder
• 1 tsp salt
• (or you can just use 2 cups of self-rising flour)
• 1 cup + 1/4 cup heavy whipping cream
• 2 tbs minced chives or scallion tops
• 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

- Preheat oven to 450 degrees F. You want it good and hot.

- Combine dry ingredients with the one cup cream, and if the dough is still too dry to mix together, as is always the case for me, keep adding the rest of the cream, a bit at a time, until it is moist enough to stick together and knead. I used my stand mixer with the dough hook attachment, but it’s not necessary and if you do it by hand that’s one less pot to wash.

- Knead the dough for about five minutes (Isobel’s favorite part).

- Roll out the dough to about 1/2 inch thickness (Isobel’s other favorite part).

- Cut the biscuits out using a biscuit cutter, cookie cutter, or rim of a drinking glass.

- Keep re-rolling and cutting out the dough until there’s nothing left. My last biscuit always looks a bit lumpy and, uh, irregular, but I keep to the dimensions as best as I can and it still tastes delicious.

- Grease baking tray with oil spray or line with parchment paper and fill with biscuits. Bake your pale yellow disks for about ten minutes. Force yourself to wait at least three minutes for them to cool, and try not to swear with pleasure.