Follow Friday – Isobel Holding Squirrelly

Have a great weekend!

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

bucktoothmama I think this new bag I am making has a fabric that looks distinctly like salami, but it just makes me like it more.

quantumpotpie I would empty my entire savings account to fund a show called Geordi & Data’s Holodeck Mishaps.

LaurelKS Protected account You guys can tell me the truth. Do I have a small penis? My inbox seems to think so.

mrpilkington Uh oh. Just had a pang of nostalgia. I’ve stomped it down with the boot of crushing reality.

MaraWritesStuff A Hufflepuff on the street but a Slytherin in the sheets

PoorRobin The future has brought all kinds of new ways to be a lazy parent. My mom had to sew on my Girl Scout badges. Me? BADGE MAGIC, BITCHES.

MassageByTed Did I dream a Cheesey Bagel Hamwich, or is that a thing? Also, I need two.

mermaidpants The best is when my mom tells me “your mom” jokes.

LouisPeitzman I’m so close to that arbitrary follower count milestone! I’d offer to take my top off, but it’s already off. (Eating blintzes. Messy.)

TheBosha Thinking about writing what would be the opposite of a Self Help book. I’d be great at that.

asterios Hail Seitan

mitdasein Mo’ money, better problems.

Vashti18 Live and Let 20-sided Die #DNDSongs

GeekCommissar Hip To Be A Gelatinous Cube #DNDSongs

maria_bo_bia Picking a time of day to get married all boils down to how late we can sleep in.

KevinFarzad Hey girl are you the bottom of my laptop because you’re super hot and I’m getting nervous.

TheBlackStar Based on Kingston’s level of crazy today’s snack at daycare was doing blow off of hookers.

joleendoreen The cat acts like he’s not emotionally moved by our nightly talks about the economy but I clean the litter box so I know it bothers him.

fierceflawless Omg, both Christian & I got paychecks today. I’m going to cash it as all ones & roll around in it. Then buy some groceries.

josephesque One day “gay marriage” will just be called “marriage,” and the world will be a better place to live in.

matthewbaldwin I only had to stop and walk twice during my jog this morning! I was jogging from my laptop to the fridge, but still.

introvertedwife I wonder if there were Grammar Nazis back in the days of Aristotle. Though I guess they were called Grammar Spartans or something.

WilliamAder People who twittercide and come back never seem to talk about what they saw on the “other side.” I’m afraid it’s all relatives and e-cards.

BtotheD Hypothetically, would it be weird if I … err … if someone sang a modified version of Peter Cetera’s “If You Leave Meow” to their cat?

TheEricGosselin I’m currently eating tortilla chips out of a shopping bag. That’s where I’m at.

Breterbies will hold your hand until it’s clammy, allowing you to pick up sequins easily.  #PerksOfDatingMe

diaper_wolf  pretty good at microwaving stuff #PerksOfDatingMe

VaguelyFunnyDan “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, if that is your real name…” – Man acting as his own lawyer, wearing a Whitesnake T-shirt & nothing else

DadBeard My hand has fallen asleep. It is dreaming of holding things it could never possibly hold: six plums, three cups of loose sprinkles, clouds.

MamaNaut I find that I’m less upset with my 4 year old’s “yuck” to the apple pie I made when I remember how much more that leaves for my breakfast.

theleanover My biggest fear as a bomb squad technician is that some maniac might use the dreaded Jenga detonator.

BeTheBoy Discovered that two Twitter users I thought were a couple are not and never were. I’m embarrassed but I’ll still picture them having sex.

shelldash i am grateful that when we americanized chinese food we at least somehow did not decide to add grated cheese & sour cream to it

u98626 I think I must admit I am the sort of jackass that looks for a chance to use a semicolon.

markleggett BUSINESS IDEA: Create some sort of business.

mariannecanada Sara Lee cheesecake is mediocre but that sure isn’t stopping me.

edheenan I’m at the point in my life where the fantasy I jerk off to is me not being poor.

shiraselko The laundromat is a great place to become terrified about the concept of juries.

shariv67 We appear to be losing our bank’s favorite reality show: So You Think You Can Refinance.

prodigalsam If a hipster falls in the woods it makes this really obscure sound you probably couldn’t hear anyway.

iGreenMonk Life would be so much easier if our arms disappeared during our sleep.

MeganBoley I’m a little but angry that we aren’t able to just download coffee. It’s 2013. This should be a thing by now. The future is now, coffee.

catagator Because apparently, wanting to eat nothing but carbs is a symptom of SAD. I thought it was a symptom of being human but okay.

mitdasein Just decided on my new career: adult impersonator.

trumpetcake “What is this, ‘The Jetsons?’” is a fun question to ask loudly every time you see someone texting.

BeTheBoy “Mickey Mouse? Not on my watch.” – The guy opposed to the Mickey Mouse watch.

joshgondelman If Peter Jackson were a DJ, he would split Rapper’s Delight into three songs, with one entire song just about foul tasting macaroni.

rikpayne If you flip over the jerk-off hand motion it just looks like you’re asking someone to grate some cheese.

RideOrDiePudge You drive through the automatic car wash backwards twice and all of a sudden you’re the bad guy at the gas station.

usedwigs In every Dinosaur Exhibit at every museum there will always be at least 3 Graysons and 2 Aidans this close to getting a time out.

rstevens Captain’s Log: Suppository— No! I said “supplemental!” Dammit, Siri!!

JRehling Every tweet complaining about your kids will be read back to you in a mocking voice when you ask for help with gadgets 40 years from now.

inversejaik @exlibris “They were Elves once, taken by the Dark Lord, given much Jagermeister, introduced to some troll women…”

slackmistress I’d never want to be a Victoria’s Secret model. Not putting on pants would feel like work.

themorris23 To all the “cougars” out there, shame on you for not calling yourselves “Thundercats” shame. on. you.

alexanderchee Why is a certain kind of person always surprised someone has to get off the train so they can get on? What else surprises them? Sunrise?

myrocketshoes Total Recalls * World’s Finest Recalled Products #FailedOutletMallShops

DrMaldoror The Great American Leech Experience #FailedOutletMallShops

rockskimmer Nearly Dead Fish and Aquarium Supplies #FailedOutletMallShops

DrMaldoror The Lump Hut #FailedOutletMallShops

JRehling I’m pretty psyched I was watching the Bill Nye video about meteors while a real meteor I didn’t see went over my house. Livin’ life here.

Adar79Angie I learned a long time ago 1. You will never make everyone happy. 2. Squirrels wearing clothes is delightful, but a young woman’s game.

prodigalsam What are the chances there’s a DJ Tanner spinning to a full house somewhere? Tell me they’re good.

levie On one hand it’s like, “Neat, rocks are falling from space.” But on the other hand it’s like, “HOLY SHIT, ROCKS ARE FALLING FROM SPACE”

owlparliament too blessed to get dressed

slackmistress If you’re alone tonight do NOT think about how much sex those mops in the Swiffer ads are having.

SandwichMeats roses are orange / violets are orange / kelvin is the worst instagram filter

wordlust Valentine’s Day is hard when you have a boner.

carlreiner Put your money where your mouth is and risk a serious oral infection.

nayele18 Getting a lot done today if you include emotional eating.

BenCox83 I love you more than I love kicking out middle schoolers. #LibrarianValentine

bannedlibrary Our love is like the smell of burnt popcorn in the break room. Forever. #LibrarianValentine

bannedlibrary Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m calling you love because your books are overdue #LibrarianValentine

jenunexpected Did Valentine’s Day break tumblr? I’ve got a walrus to post, here, people.

sbellelauren happy valentine’s day! just remember if you are going to send me flowers today my favorite kind are mushroom pizza

FakeAPStylebook This day only it is acceptable to dot every lowercase I with a heart. Make it count.

ColeEscola I’m giving up hope for Lent.

marlespo HEY SARA hey floor WATCHA DOIN laying on you YOU’RE WARM you’re hard ARE WE MAKING OUT kinda I guess HAPPY VALENTINES DAY you too my friend

OBiiieeee 1.Place the popcorn bag in the microwave 2.Punch “8008″ in for the cook time 3.Watch the kernels pop into nipples, then full grown breasts

Babe_Chilla Me: “Everly I love you so much; you’re the best part of my life!” E: “MOMMY I LICKING YOUR SWEATER BAHAHAHA!!!”

hipstermermaid I dislike you less than I dislike most people. Happy Valentine’s Day.

LouisPeitzman AMBIEN. #CandyHeartRejects

thebookpolice UR INFLUENTIAL ON KLOUT #candyheartrejects

introvertedwife I used to be a Valentine like you, until I took an arrow to the knee. #candyheartrejects (It’s a very big candy)

MsHunnyBunnie Successful long-term relationships are built on compatible neuroses #CandyHeartRejects

JerryThomas FINISH HIM #candyheartrejects

DrMaldoror DEEZ NUTZ #CandyHeartRejects

Budini I HAV 4 CATS #CandyHeartRejects

TheBosha DROPS MIC #CandyHeartRejects

michaelianblack P ON U #candyheartrejects

AndyRichter YUM! 4SKIN! #candyheartrejects

introvertedwife To The Pain #candyheartrejects

biorhythmist LEXA PRO #CandyHeartRejects

robdelaney POO PALS? #CandyHeartRejects

apelad All your base died of dysentery in another castle.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.