Snapshot 2.13.13

13 Feb

 

 – The shit hit the fan and unfortunately it was a specially made fan designed to fling poo everywhere with maximum speed and efficiency. As if the soul-crushing  events I mentioned last week weren’t enough,  my husband’s job is in danger as his company is downsizing. Massive layoffs are on the horizon and by the end of the month there is a good chance he may be jobless. I have deep and abiding guilt about staying at home, though I’m not sure it would have mattered. The benefits my job offered were too expensive for us to purchase, and I made so little that it probably would have covered day care and that’s it. It doesn’t stop the guilt, though, the fact that I quit a job in a shitty economy to do what I loved. There is so much uncertainty in everything right now that my anxiety is ramped into overdrive. I’m trying not to tweet all of the things that pop into my head like a deranged lunatic, but I’m not sure how well I’m succeeding.

– Isobel starts preschool this week and I have embarked on the never ending paperwork journey that goes with it. Other than that one dance class last week Isobel’s never been away from family. This is the beauty of where we live and why I fight so hard to stay here. We are surrounded and bolstered by an amazing web of support but because we’ve been so lucky I’m anticipating some separation anxiety issues from Isobel. I talked it over with the director of the preschool and I’m going to hide all my anxiety and proceed confidently (you know, as is my normal routine in regular life) and this should help Isobel transition.

– A Mama friend of mine to a much older daughter told me that imaginary friends tend to go away once your kid starts school. I hope they don’t all go away so quickly, because I love Dee Dee and Da Da and will miss them terribly.

– In order to get to know her they asked her to name her favorite food. Which is ribs, with butter a close second. (I was too embarrassed to admit her butter love.) She’s been eating ribs almost since she started solid food. Here’s two photos of our little riblet gnawing on ribs.

– My friend Brandon received the Enterprise pizza slicer from his sweet girlfriend Noel for Valentine’s day, and I covet it. I haven’t seen those around for a few years (the links I had saved for it were dead), and I know one day I’ll install a display case in my kitchen to show off the pizza slicer, the Enterprise bottle opener from my friend Scott and the Bird of Prey corkscrew from Amanda. I think someone needs to create a bread knife that looks like a Bat’leth.

–  Isobel, Anthony and I often spend some time each evening watching nature documentaries before bed. We watch elephants, lions, and meerkats struggle to survive, and their lives seem so desperate, always one step away from either life or death. Mostly I feel so distant from that struggle. Our survival is assured and I take that feeling for granted. But we are so close to the edge right now, my family, so close to our survival looking very different than it does now. And some of the people I know aren’t even this lucky and their survival isn’t assured at all. I am overcome with these thoughts and can only think, over and over: we are all so delicate. All of us.

Thrifty Living: Thrifted Valentine’s Day Decorations. One 1980s schoolteacher’s trash is my treasure.

Scrapbook: Home Life. The succulent I’ve had for years is finally blooming.

Here’s what’s up in the shop. All kinds of lovely things.

Scrapbook: Home Life. My daughter pretends to eat an entire package of bacon.

Recipe: Chocolate Brownie Heart Cakes. If I ever have another dinner party everyone will get their own personal heart cake.

The N&L Photography Project. My friend Nicole has been looking for activities her and her preteen son Logan can do together. When she got a new camera he asked if he could learn to use to old one and voila, a new hobby is born. This is so inspiring. I love that she’s making such an effort to connect to her son as he grows into his teen years. I hope I am as good a parent to Isobel in her teen years.

Mom Guilt: It’s Okay to Like Yourself. I look up to Megan of Princess Lasertron as a role model for parenting, creative work, and just for being a badass. I want to be like her when I grow up.

You, Me & Star Trek: The Next Generation. My favorite internet mermaid sent me this article and I devoured it while Isobel was in dance class, nodding along the whole time.

How To Master The Universe. “If you learn this skill, you can master pretty much anything. You can beat procrastination, start exercising, make your diet healthier, learn a new language, make it through challenges and physically grueling events, explore new things, speak on a stage, let go of all that you know, and become a minimalist. And that’s just the start.” Reading this over and over.

It takes planning, caution, to avoid being “It.” Mr. Dennehy and nine of his friends have spent the past 23 years locked in a game of “tag.” Amazing. My friends have often joked that they will get together around a table at the retirement home and play D&D as long as they can hold dice.

“Twilight” Named Worst Movie of All Time. “There’s a lot to cover in this vast, sprawling film series so let us try to boil it down for you: ‘Mumble mumble mumble moon eyes. Mumble mumble mumble mumble lay in a field. Mumble mumble mumble perv on a baby. Mumble.'”

I answer a reader question once a month. Do you have a question for me? I’d love to answer it! If it’s a short one I’ll answer it here. If it’s more complicated, I’ll give it its own post. You can leave your question in the comments, @-reply me on twitter, email it to me at alittlebigblog@gmail.com or send me a messenger pigeon. Don’t actually do the last one, though. My cat will eat it. Be sure to let me know if you want me to include your name and link to your blog or shop. Anonymous questions are fine, too.

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18 Responses to “Snapshot 2.13.13”

  1. Salvaged Strawberry February 13, 2013 at 8:01 am #

    Sending you love and support and **hugs**. Fingers crossed for the hubby. Smiling thinking of your riblet starting school and telling people her favorite food is butter. :)

    • Carrie Anne February 13, 2013 at 1:28 pm #

      Thank you so much, lady! And who doesn’t love butter? ;)

  2. Nina the slackmistress February 13, 2013 at 9:06 am #

    Thinking good thoughts for you guys. Uncertainty is the WORST.
    Nina the slackmistress recently posted..It’s That Time of Year Again…My Profile

    • Carrie Anne February 13, 2013 at 1:29 pm #

      It really is. And we found out a couple weeks ago so this whole month has been kind of awful.

  3. K February 13, 2013 at 10:29 am #

    Oh goodness. I’m sorry to read about the stress surrounding Anthony’s job. Nothing gives me a bigger pit than that kind of worry.

    And I say vent and talk crazy all you want on Twitter. It’s what people are there for.
    K recently posted..Upping my game in the Valentine departmentMy Profile

    • Carrie Anne February 13, 2013 at 1:29 pm #

      Thank you so much, K. It means the world to have a twitter tribe you can vent to and not have to worry. Cheapest therapy yet!

  4. Sarah February 13, 2013 at 1:36 pm #

    We survived a downsizing a couple of years ago. It’s stressful, but survivable. I hope that if it happens you guys get a decent severance package, some unemployment to cover Cobra costs, and that he finds a new job quickly. Try not to feel guilty; you’re an amazing mom and you’re doing the best for your family.

    Also, Daughter didn’t gain a invisible friends until she started preschool. They went away around kindergarten. I sometimes miss them, but one had to move to Florida to be with her Grandma and one grew up very quickly. They both still visit from time to time.
    Sarah recently posted..WIP* WednesdayMy Profile

    • Carrie Anne February 13, 2013 at 1:45 pm #

      Thank you so much, Sarah. This gives me hope, about surviving what’s to come and about Isobel’s imaginary friends!

  5. Kirstin February 13, 2013 at 2:05 pm #

    Hang in there. My husband lost his teaching job three years ago and still isn’t back to full time employment. (Sorry, really trying to send _good_ vibes.) It is stressful. It is hard. It’s ok to cry.

    Find joy where you can and things will look up eventually.

    • Carrie Anne February 14, 2013 at 1:09 pm #

      I spent several days last week just bawling my eyes out. Thank you for your support and encouragement. It means so much.

  6. Brenda Kula-Pruitt February 13, 2013 at 2:16 pm #

    I just somehow stumbled upon your blog. I know that feeling you describe. I’ve been divorced for a year and a half, and have found that women in their fifties are really invisible. I am worried about survival myself now. And it is visible. Breathtakingly so.
    Brenda
    Brenda Kula-Pruitt recently posted..Meet My TeamMy Profile

    • Carrie Anne February 14, 2013 at 1:12 pm #

      Thank you so much for stopping by, Brenda! I’m so sorry you can relate. My aunt is in a similar situation and it’s so difficult. I’m sorry.

  7. Clara February 13, 2013 at 10:06 pm #

    So I follow you on Instagram and I googled your username because I wanted to read your blog since I couldn’t sleep and I couldn’t remember your blog name. Latin for ex libris came up and I totally understand why it’s your username now. Lol just wanted to telll you that and also let you know that I love your blog, humor, and your family is adorable!

    • Carrie Anne February 14, 2013 at 1:13 pm #

      Thank you so much for stopping by, Clara! So glad you found me. :) I started going by Exlibris before I even thought of blogging, but I love that name so much (and am still recognized by it online) that I couldn’t give it up! It brightens my day to hear this. Thank you.

  8. Jose Gonzalez February 14, 2013 at 10:45 am #

    Sorry to hear these bad news :( Wishing you the best!!!!

    • Carrie Anne February 14, 2013 at 1:14 pm #

      Thanks, Joes! I’m sure you’ve heard, but things around her have been so tough. For just about everyone. Would love to see you again. Let us know when you’re in town. xoxo

  9. Liz February 14, 2013 at 2:41 pm #

    Carrie Anne – I am so sorry to hear that life is determined to be a bitch to you lately. That sounds like a lot of stress to handle at once and I hope you guys are hanging in there okay.

    I really enjoy reading your blog and am thankful that you are willing to share your life with strangers on the interwebs. Your posts are always funny and relatable and don’t leave me feeling like an inadequate human being (like most blogs do. Ha!) Anyway, I am rooting for you and sending good vibes your way.

    • Carrie Anne February 16, 2013 at 12:13 pm #

      Liz, this comment just made my month. I know that feeling you speak of, about some blogs making you feel inadequate, and I want to be the antithesis of that. This spoke to my heart. Thank you, thank you. This is one for the Smile Book.

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