– The shit hit the fan and unfortunately it was a specially made fan designed to fling poo everywhere with maximum speed and efficiency. As if the soul-crushing events I mentioned last week weren’t enough, my husband’s job is in danger as his company is downsizing. Massive layoffs are on the horizon and by the end of the month there is a good chance he may be jobless. I have deep and abiding guilt about staying at home, though I’m not sure it would have mattered. The benefits my job offered were too expensive for us to purchase, and I made so little that it probably would have covered day care and that’s it. It doesn’t stop the guilt, though, the fact that I quit a job in a shitty economy to do what I loved. There is so much uncertainty in everything right now that my anxiety is ramped into overdrive. I’m trying not to tweet all of the things that pop into my head like a deranged lunatic, but I’m not sure how well I’m succeeding.
– Isobel starts preschool this week and I have embarked on the never ending paperwork journey that goes with it. Other than that one dance class last week Isobel’s never been away from family. This is the beauty of where we live and why I fight so hard to stay here. We are surrounded and bolstered by an amazing web of support but because we’ve been so lucky I’m anticipating some separation anxiety issues from Isobel. I talked it over with the director of the preschool and I’m going to hide all my anxiety and proceed confidently (you know, as is my normal routine in regular life) and this should help Isobel transition.
– A Mama friend of mine to a much older daughter told me that imaginary friends tend to go away once your kid starts school. I hope they don’t all go away so quickly, because I love Dee Dee and Da Da and will miss them terribly.
– In order to get to know her they asked her to name her favorite food. Which is ribs, with butter a close second. (I was too embarrassed to admit her butter love.) She’s been eating ribs almost since she started solid food. Here’s two photos of our little riblet gnawing on ribs.
– My friend Brandon received the Enterprise pizza slicer from his sweet girlfriend Noel for Valentine’s day, and I covet it. I haven’t seen those around for a few years (the links I had saved for it were dead), and I know one day I’ll install a display case in my kitchen to show off the pizza slicer, the Enterprise bottle opener from my friend Scott and the Bird of Prey corkscrew from Amanda. I think someone needs to create a bread knife that looks like a Bat’leth.
– Isobel, Anthony and I often spend some time each evening watching nature documentaries before bed. We watch elephants, lions, and meerkats struggle to survive, and their lives seem so desperate, always one step away from either life or death. Mostly I feel so distant from that struggle. Our survival is assured and I take that feeling for granted. But we are so close to the edge right now, my family, so close to our survival looking very different than it does now. And some of the people I know aren’t even this lucky and their survival isn’t assured at all. I am overcome with these thoughts and can only think, over and over: we are all so delicate. All of us.
Thrifty Living: Thrifted Valentine’s Day Decorations. One 1980s schoolteacher’s trash is my treasure.
Scrapbook: Home Life. The succulent I’ve had for years is finally blooming.
Here’s what’s up in the shop. All kinds of lovely things.
Scrapbook: Home Life. My daughter pretends to eat an entire package of bacon.
Recipe: Chocolate Brownie Heart Cakes. If I ever have another dinner party everyone will get their own personal heart cake.
The N&L Photography Project. My friend Nicole has been looking for activities her and her preteen son Logan can do together. When she got a new camera he asked if he could learn to use to old one and voila, a new hobby is born. This is so inspiring. I love that she’s making such an effort to connect to her son as he grows into his teen years. I hope I am as good a parent to Isobel in her teen years.
How To Master The Universe. “If you learn this skill, you can master pretty much anything. You can beat procrastination, start exercising, make your diet healthier, learn a new language, make it through challenges and physically grueling events, explore new things, speak on a stage, let go of all that you know, and become a minimalist. And that’s just the start.” Reading this over and over.
It takes planning, caution, to avoid being “It.” Mr. Dennehy and nine of his friends have spent the past 23 years locked in a game of “tag.” Amazing. My friends have often joked that they will get together around a table at the retirement home and play D&D as long as they can hold dice.
“Twilight” Named Worst Movie of All Time. “There’s a lot to cover in this vast, sprawling film series so let us try to boil it down for you: ‘Mumble mumble mumble moon eyes. Mumble mumble mumble mumble lay in a field. Mumble mumble mumble perv on a baby. Mumble.'”
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