And the winner of the V-Day Giveaway is… #24, Michele! I’ll be emailing you shortly. Thanks again to everyone who entered!
Some of these photographs are for sale in the Little Big Shop. If you see a photo here that you would like that isn’t in the shop, let me know and I’ll set up a listing.
Have a great weekend!
What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further. Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.
SarcasticRover Last time anyone took a week just to get ready for a drilling it was blah blah wedding night or whatever joke. SCIENCE!
runawaycupcake Pretty sure Dora goes on crazy adventures with a monkey because her mom is on Twitter.
gbissett If you’re not sure whether to use fake woodgrain in your software UI, flip a coin. If it lands on heads or tails, you are a bad person.
wawoodworth These are the reference shifts that try men’s souls.
JenBanksYEG Just read a Ziploc ad on Facebook wrong. Don’t think it meant to say “This week we’re beating meat with ease”.
EvenMoreSarah Ladies and gents I have purchased some horrible music on the iTunes this morning, so if you need me I’m in my office rocking out to Ke$ha.
stefdelev It’s when people *aren’t* trying to enter your country, that you should be worried. #ImmigrationTweetDay
wordlust F-word euphemisms! F-word them right in the a-word!
kellyasterisk I’m pretty excited to go take some jpegs of the ocean
waferbaby There’s a dog on the bus! This is the best Monday ever.
_Shizzle Depression by Calvin Klein is loosely based on the smell of microwaved hotdogs.
morninggloria I’m not pregnant, but that GoDaddy ad caused me to preemptively miscarry.
DavidCornDC Finally, America cares about the infrastructure in NOLA.
DamienFahey Dan Marino fathering a child out of wedlock is still less embarrassing than Joe Montana in a Skechers commercial.
That_Biz The Super Bowl is one of my most favorite eating holidays.
ohnoCAPSLOCK …More like POOPer Bowl, am I right?!
thecorbettkid ozzie dressed in sushi costume, to miles: “miles! pretend to eat me!” miles: “nooo. i can’t eat my best friend!!” me: dead.
UnicornFlavored Protected account “Roll it, pat it, mark it with a B.. Q R S T U V!” – toddler mashup
matthewbaldwin I’m pretty decisive, I guess.
Smethanie Every time there’s a dispute over who has possession of the ball tonight, I’m gonna yell “That’s so Ravens’!”
annetdonahue Another year, another hope that the Super Bowl winner will be determined through dance.
shinyinfo Ancient Aliens is talking about scientists putting different heads on other animals. So basic. Are they freshman at Evil Scientist college?
thebryanpaulk I turned my frown into a chaise longue. I look ridiculous right now.
RelatableQuote iTunes has got it all wrong the hottest single of the year is me.
michael_J_m00n I put felt pads on all the furniture to protect the wood floor and now my house is like one big Ouija Board.
pontiuslabar “Hot mess? More like HOT MESSIAH.” (Uncool Jesus trying to score.)
knottyyarn Whimsical lifestyle bloggers are trying to make bare lightbulbs a thing and that’s enough, now. That’s enough.
FarrenSquare An Ugh is just a Hug that has lost its direction.
TheNextMartha You didn’t see the tears when I saw store was out of coffee creamer, but trust me, they were there.
snazzy_inc if this van is a-rockin’ call a geologist or something idk
matttuff I just told my mother that I put one of my kittens in the dryer and now it’s too small for my hand to fit inside. Thank you, autocorrect.
slackmistress Punxsutawney Phil predicts winter is over. Even a groundhog knows global warming is real.
mamabub After a week of having my face directly sneezed upon, I find myself with a sore throat. How odd.
JulieFroolie My laziness is almost impressive.
aparnapkin At my physical the nurse just asked me to undress STILL GOT IT
donni I break: 1) Bread 2) Ribs 3) Hundred dollar bills 4) Smaller bills, also
Angel__Bee Avocados, you are my little gentleman. I’ll take you to foggy London-town because you are my gentleman.
johnmoe If I had stuck with acting, I’d be 5 years away from playing “self-destructive heroic cop’s boss who demands he plays by the rules, dammit.”
shelldash He was born with a microphallus? I’m sorry, but he’s probably not all that into you.
LizB I want to buy a Lands End black cardigan. Talk me off the ledge.
prodigalsam Tilda Swinton always looks like she just got back from space.
nayele18 My 6-year-old just had her arm stuck in a grocery cart for 10 minutes, and it was like watching the paternity test come back positive.
Katecake 2yo just climbed up on my lap & said, sweetly, “I’m a bad person.”
ChaseMit Dear Every Upstairs Neighbor in America, what the fuck are you hammering
Classy_Cassy89 The best compliment I got all day was, “Do you have pink eye?”
jennyvsjenny i adore the earl of lemongrab but i would not say running around screaming ITS YOUR FAULT is good leadership
bridger_w I like Gila monsters because they’re willing to admit they’re monsters, unlike giraffes
The_Dorkster If you’re under the age of 25 and you think your life sucks then you had better brace yourself. Life has only given you the TIP of its Dildo.
TheRedQueen BCC, use it bitches.
sbellelauren i believe firmly in democracy but fuck it lets make hilary clinton king
JulieFroolie Deciding between cereal or toast. Meanwhile, salmon frantically swim upstream, trying to spawn.
kelkulus “Game of Thrones” star Jason Momoa and I both proudly state we use sex to keep fit, although I assume he involves another person.
shariv67 Please leave a message after the beep. *Beeps forever*
trumpetcake JUST YOU WAIT, SOMEDAY I’LL SHOW EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU! (mah buuuttt)
StephenAtHome A Barbie-themed restaurant opened in Taiwan. I’m worried it’ll give girls unrealistic expectations for what’s a good restaurant concept.
laineydiamond Life has these tiny periods of time that are super amazing & wonderful & you just have to remember another one is just around the corner.
rstevens I’m starting a relationship advice column where my answer to every request for advice is, “use more butter.”
prodigalsam I’ve made so many mmmsteaks.
swedishpancake I worry that I’ll never love a man more than I love The Doctor.
stuckinspincycl Friend just posted a picture of her one year-old and that kid already has a serious side-eye. TALENT!
prodigalsam The Tooth Ninja would’ve been so much cooler.
Leemanish Any couples out there interested in a threesome? I’m thinking sex first and then, if things go well, golf.
Toaster_Pastry I choose to pee every hour just for the me-time.
DrMaldoror Film yourself with your arms folded, mugging like an insufferable douche, and you’ve practically got a contract for your own reality show.
Molly_Kats She fumbled a lot of expensive stuff into her toilet. – my epitaph.
pnkrcklibrarian I’m going to start randomly taking pregnancy tests and post pictures of the pee laden sticks on FB and say, “Surprise! I’m not pregnant!”
ApocalypseHow Washington State is hiring a State Marijuana Advisor. Position will go to whichever candidate gets their application in.
Adar79Angie I am at my most politically passionate when I’m arguing for regular salad dressing instead of light salad dressing. I WILL NOT BE SILENCED!
runawaycupcake If you keep hitting the wall then you really need to get your eyes checked or reexamine your abusive relationship with walls.
malenkayaptitsa It’s 66 in my office. I’m wearing mittens. Librarianship isn’t all excitement and awards. Sometimes it’s also shivering quietly at a desk.
jillsmo So I opened up the printer to make copies and all these springs came flying out at me. That’s probably bad, right?
Disalmanac UPDATE: A pug named Mr. Booboo has been kicked out of this year’s Puppy Bowl for using cuteness-enhancing drugs.
shinyinfo Watching Ancient X-Files on my sick day. Whomever manages the programming for NatGeo probably is a sociopath.
bellyofawhale My only regret in life so far is that I’ve never been able to use the word unctuousness in a sentence.
cloudcm I’m fretting about a lot of little things so that I can practice for the big stuff.
andrewmorrisey Sorry guys but I win tonight because bigass burrito.
sureshontwitr Do aardvarks vark aard?
wordlust I found Jesus. He was in a jar of Nutella.
CherylStrayed There is no moment that’s anything like the moment both children are finally asleep.
TheRealDratch Now that i have a young son I find myself calling a lot of people “Buddy” by accident.
hugeMINUTIA It was a t-shirt, scarf, and go fuck yourself kind of Wednesday.
shinyinfo My personal library brand is a fart trapped in a jar.
lifeserial Do you think Satan ever tells Westboro Baptist Church that he’s proud of them, or does he play more of an emotionally distant father role?
LizB hey, i found something stupid on the internet and it only took till almost 5 pm my time. a good day, actually
wonderella The Puppy Bowl has never discriminated against gender or color, nor had a drug scandal, making it America’s Greatest Sporting Event.
GDRPempress Damn treadmill in basement is possessed. All is fine and then it suddenly takes off like it just saw a squirrel.
mitdasein I’m starting to think that Fifty Shades of Gray isn’t a Steve Martin memoir.
Disalmanac Today in 1941, Dick Cheney was born. He wasn’t the first evil Terminator robot from the future to serve as our VP, but he was the most evil.
MassageByTed I doubt that many of you realize how close we came to having “boom yar” instead of “booyah” as hip-hop rallying cry.
Pamela_Drouin Swear words are the spice of life.
sweetandweak Not sure if this emptiness inside of me is shaped like 3 tacos but going to give it a shot anyway.
DadBeard Does anyone want to be adopted? This year’s tax return is really missing the previous year’s adoption credit. Light babysitting is a must.
EireannDolan Did you know Biz Markie’s real name is Business Mark?
matthewbaldwin If you need television to find “inspirational stories” you are not paying enough attention to the people around you.
josephesque After this super bowl of vegan chili, I pray nobody intercepts what I pass.