Follow Friday – The City By The Bay

All of these photographs are for sale in the Little Big Shop.

Have a great weekend!

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

MamaNaut  Z said clearly in his sleep last night, “Let’s have a playdate with the Rescue Bots.”

wordlust  If the carrot doesn’t work, try the stick. If that doesn’t work, find another penis metaphor.

prodigalsam Do they make those harmonica holders but for sandwiches?

thejohnblog I bet that tiny violin players are annoyed that the only work they get is from rich, sarcastic people.

slackmistress None of the puppies in the Puppy Bowl better be using performance-enhancing drugs.

booksNyarn Since I only have an hour left at work, should I eat my lunch or just move on to the two cupcakes I brought with me? #rhetoricalquestion

annetdonahue Anyone who respects Beyonce less after finding out she lip synced yesterday don’t deserve her as their queen in the first place.

PolyesterPony My cardo routine is deleting all my bad tweets and sobbing.

mitdasein Ikea should sponsor a zombie movie set entirely in an Ikea. So many hiding places and awesome improvised weapons!

biorhythmist I watched a lot of soap operas as a kid so I always end my phone calls with “I guess this is goodbye”

theleanover I’d make a terrible Starfleet captain because whenever I saw a Starbucks in a system I’d have to go get my quad-espresso-over-dark-roast.

sgnp You can say “I’m soooo old,” all you want, but it isn’t true until you decide sex is a nice idea but the reality seems like too much effort.

timeblimp I had big plans for the #WhyBlimpsAreBetterThanZeppelins hashtag, but then connection problems. Man, that was a can’t-miss trending topic.

WilliamAder My car’s GPS has learned to say “Your other left.”

keelayjams Crushed “AFRICA” so hard at karaoke that I made a dude bald on the spot.

morninggloria Does Jason Statham ever get tired of playing role after role that basically amounts to James Bond for people with truck nuts?

ruthakers Going where no man has gone before usually implies to the store for tampons.

ajlobster Putting flannel sheets back on my bed today ranks in the Top Ten Best 2013 Decisions; it’s right after bringing a pile of bacon to a potluck

WilliamAder If Twitter goes down for good, we should decide now which Denny’s we’re going to meet up at.

wordlust My new pants are unsharted territory.

theleanover wtf his name was Wesley Crusher but we never saw him turn a car into a small metal cube

theleanover Not sure what I’m eating but there’s enough powdered sugar on it to make me fee OK about it.

Mortimusgerbil I’m shocked every time I log on to twitter and you haven’t all unfollowed me.

UnicornFlavored Watching youtube videos of sciatica stretches because I’m winning at life.

apelad I have a separate phone specifically for butt dials. Gimme your number.

suebob If I could make 1 rule for the internet it would be: try not to be a complete fucking dick to people for no good reason.

LSH85 Either I’m allergic to cats or I’m allergic to my own face, hard to tell

BtotheD Chevy Chase and Harrison Ford need to hurry up and make a buddy road trip movie, so we can get the long awaited Chevy/Ford duo.

PopCulLibrn I just put myself in Time Out. It was better for everyone.

isplotchy I accidentally made a cross with a Mac keyboard shortcut. #humblebrag

MoRocca Can someone hurry up & create an app where I can put Michelle Obama’s bangs on former First Ladies? I want to see them on Eleanor Roosevelt

manspeaker I carry on conversations on multiply platforms with the same person at the same time. My multitasking is reaching its pinnacle.

ihuntmidgets Some people say their brain is filled with useless facts. Mine is filled with contact lenses I’ve lost while sleeping.

jenstatsky One fun thing to do is take your iPod headphones, rub them together like paddles, yell “CLEAR!” and pretend you’re saving a mouse’s life.

michaeljnelson “The human heart is a football with wings. I’m divorcing your mother.” — Jerry Fakecoach

michaeljnelson “When did we lose sight of the simple idea that Eva Longoria is a lizard person? Now let’s get out there and win!” — Jerry Fakecoach

michaeljnelson “Tomorrow is the today you prepared for yesterday. The present is a tomorrow that yesterday — anyway, we’re down by 12″ — Jerry Fakecoach

trumpetcake Sittin’ at my workbench buildin’ a one-man seesaw for the lonelys to use. #Thoughtful

runawaycupcake You retweet me.

slackmistress Neocons hate me for the sarcastic jokes I make about them & liberals hate me ‘cuz they can’t tell it’s sarcasm. #EQUALHATE4ALL

azizansari Shoutout to the dude who created those gummy bears that are multivitamins. You are a national hero sir.

MrWordsWorth Atari files for bankruptcy. Creditors to blow on cartridges to see if they can make the company solvent again.

FlyteAphrodite Wait, my training website looks an awful lot like Facebook! Weird.

owlparliament Let the record state that I am totally taking a bath and not Instagramming it.

rstevens Do we have the technology to make Oreos that scream when you take the top off yet?

BDGarp God, help me accept what I can’t change (like everything); change the things I can (like my shirt); and be mostly indifferent I guess

DrMaldoror Got three candles lit, so judgmental desk fish probably thinks there’s three mean old anglerfish out here, plotting. That’ll teach him.

Jedimasterbator Except for the clitoris, [ROOT MENU] is my favourite button. No. 3 is belly. #remotecontrol

annetdonahue Saying “I’ve got a bun in the oven” is the most ineffective way for a baker to announce her pregnancy.

J__Swift Hello new followers! Know that you are loved. Probably by people who know you. Let’s not rush things.

madamesnooty i guess by now jessica fletcher must have killed everyone in cabot cove.

manspeaker I downloaded my Twitter archive and can’t for the life of me figure out why anyone follows me.

mrlasertron i’ve never sounded more like a douche than when today i had to explain my tattoos to my 2 1/2 year old.

theleanover “What should we call our new cola?” “Crown Royal!” “Daryl, you’re drunk.” “Alright then call it Royal Crown Cola.” “Fine, ya big fat lush.”

PrettyAllTrue Older daughter: If I find out someone’s been dunking a banana in my tea, that person’s head will roll like thunder.

UnicornFlavored I need to stop Googling my butt cheek pain because suddenly I need spinal surgery.

helgagrace Let’s see how you can horrify me tonight, papers. #editing

tylerschmall I think I’m finally ready for that jelly.

GoonSquadSarah Taught Claudia to read the ESPN ticker so she can report hockey scores to me while I shower. My work here is done.

ryankresse Sure, it’s an odd choice, but I’m sure Steven Moffat knew what he was doing when he cast Jeremy Clarkson as the twelfth doctor.

iboudreau Good idea for National Day of Service: Volunteer to administer first aid to those participating in Gun Appreciation Day.

Caissie “When does the paperback edition of your book come out? Oh, that’s right, it was only ever available in paperback.” #SickAuthorBurns

jerryrenek I always feel weird at the end of a fiction reading when I stuff dollar bills in the writer’s underwear.

danforthfrance Out of the pantheon of onomatopoeia, “squawk” has the sound keys to my ear heart.

thomastowell Trying not to take things personally, so I hired a guy to steal for me.

RobynHTV Modern Badass: Updating my status with 1% battery life left. Hey, I did it! Take that, batte

awrightbrian Just finished Season 2 of Downton Abbey. Can wait to get to Season 3! Will Lady McGonagall rescue Mr Bates from Azkaban? Don’t tell me! Oh!

runawaycupcake Had a sexy dream last night, woke up at the fridge with a block of cheese in my mouth.

Jimski I’m not great at a lot of things,but I have yet to meet the man who’s better than me at typing in the wrong passwords till I get locked out.

MassageByTed Roughly half of my net worth is in padlocks for which I’ve forgotten the combination.

usedwigs My 4-yr-old spent $140 while playing a Kindle game. Amazon refunded it and she’s no longer allowed to play Sid the Shopping Cart Kid.

weinerdog4life Farted and sneezed at the same time and 3 nickels fell out of my butt, I’m the weirdest slot machine ever.

curlycomedy Music is just math after it’s had a few drinks.

DepressedDarth Life would be so much better if the Imperial March played every time you walked into a room.

That_Damn_Duck Depression is like a spider web. It appears simple on the surface & yet, once you land on it, you realize that it’s complicated & ensnaring.

MrsEllemennoP Teaching a little anatomy via our male dog…”do not touch Bradley’s wiener, it’s what he pees out of.”

jeaniepalm A reality show where women try to get out of their Spanx at the end of the day.

GetUrOwnCoffee Just taught my daughter how to multiply numbers. Or cook. I’m not really sure.

BerlinHairBaby I need A LOT more cowbell today.

Bluestalking OH MY GOD! Facebook is down! Where will I complain now? #ontwitter

slackmistress Finally I can debut my new advice column, “Dear Flabby.”

Rad_Mouse Knock knock…who’s got two thumbs and doesn’t understand how jokes work? aren’t you glad I didn’t say banana

biorhythmist “Who’s your daddy?” #EmpireStrikesBackFirstDraft

sarcasmically Local Chinese restaurant has a sign waver wearing a dog suit. Didn’t think that one through, did they?

Molly_Kats Wearing red corduroys makes you feel like you hijacked a toddler’s pants from Baby Gap.

MightyQuinn72 The sad part about losing weight is losing my moobs. Say goodbye to great cleavage :’(

marlespo inspirational tweet: i love butter

theneener When you arrive early to meet a group of people and wonder if you’re at the right place and oh well, mimosa

Lilacmess I forgot leopards are in Africa and jaguars are in South America, which made husband aggravated. So I asked if koala bears are from Canada

shinyinfo My new Kitchenaid mixer is coming home tomorrow. I should probably clean my kitchen in anticipation of its arrival.

SarahThyre Next time I go to the doctor I’m just gonna say “I’m gross, right?” and I figure it’ll all be uphill from there.

JRehling When you’re drunk, all pockets are Hot Pockets.

mikeleffingwell Lack of fire exits (NSFW)

casskeeley I bet as MLK marched on Washington, he thought “some day, people will thank me for fighting for their rights and giving them 30% off @ Gap.”

shinyinfo @pnkrcklibrarian I submit to the court that Kirk/ Spock was the original slashfic.

MeganBoley I just read the entire Taco Bell menu. #fridaynight

quantumpotpie I spend most of my life dreaming that humanity is connected in one vast Jungian embrace. Then I go to Chipotle & quickly change my mind.

barvonblaq Just drove for 30 minutes on E. Car was almost out of gas too.

shkeeber I’ve got my *tweetin’ pants on. *no

FakeLibStats Printouts of Justin Bieber & One Direction photos are the 3rd largest source of income for public libraries

Thing_Finder If the best things in life are free, explain ice cream to me.

notthatkendall Twitter’s my dad now, dad.

KimLiving There’s nothing like blitzing through a pile of cooking & baking to take care of that pesky clean kitchen problem.

purple_quark @exlibris are people still called webmasters? Add that to anything. Hello, I am a bookmaster, instead of librarian.

LOLGOP It’s invasive to do background checks! — the guys who demanded 13 birth certificates from the president

the_moonface Wait a minute, Obama’s coming to take my arms?!? But I need those for my happy time! That unbelievable bastard!

owlparliament You know what they say! Cold hands, heartless cold-blooded reptilian Illuminati new world order overlord!

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.