It’s a new year and time for a new adventure. In addition to vintage I’ve decided to start selling photography prints of my work on etsy, starting with the seven you see here. I’ll be adding more over time, and if you’ve seen something that you love here or on flickr or instagram let me know and I’ll be happy to set up a listing. If there’s a particular photo you’d like me to take I can happily do that, too.
Have a great weekend!
What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further. Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.
matthewbaldwin After walking into a work meeting without pants, abruptly stop and say, “uggh I hate this dream.”
nayele18 Looks like I can go ahead and cross ‘accidentally sexting the wrong person before 11 a.m.’ off my to-do list.
DadBeard I would gladly hide from my kids if they didn’t know how to get, and use, knives.
sbellelauren i’m bummed i’m not strong enough to punch my trainer yet
TravLeBlanc When you think about it, “I know you are but what am I?” is Descartes taken to the next level.
DadBeard HOW MY MORNING BEGAN: My son stomping on inflated balloons while wearing his mother’s high heels.
abbytron Being honest doesn’t mean being an asshole, unless you are honestly an asshole.
cheriebeyond The girl asked me to come in and do something in her class at daycare. Usually parents craft with them. I should…show them how to tweet?
shariv67 Ease the embarrassment of buying condoms by asking for a gift receipt.
MeganNeuringer i am…how you say? doing the bartman.
jerryrenek Waiter, we’ll take a pound of the Beluga caviar, and we’d like that served in your very finest nacho sombrero.
willgoldstein The first rule of babydynamics: babies in motion tend to stay at rest; babies at rest tend to wake up crying.
pushinghoops I have to be somewhere in 20 min and there is literally no one here to carry me wtf
DBagChopra Believe your Heart, doubt your Mind, and agree ironically with your Sigmoid Colon.
BillCorbett Puppy freaked out by walking past an empty carton of Mello Yello. Dogs: tripping balls since prehistory!
iboudreau So far, all my antichristing has been pro-bono work.
josephesque When my boss asks me to do something, I say “yes” but make sure to follow it up with a quick a cappella rendition of “My Prerogative.”
mikeleffingwell Just pulled a groin muscle trying to skateboard with my kids. My life is a deleted scene from Parental Guidance.
Coastiefish I’ll bet the guy that invented Nerf just wanted to throw stuff at his kids really bad.
murderbytweets In Hell, someone is constantly vacuuming while you’re trying to explain directions to an old man.
JRehling When I say I can bench press 400 pounds it’s not bragging because it’s lying.
TheRedQueen I drank an entire pot of coffee today. In related news I have laser beams shooting out of my eyes.
PinterestFake Fun sidewalk stencils for bachelorette party puke.
JulieFroolie Do people still iron things? I just try to fold pants carefully, then sit on them.
themikewest I hope the platinum coin says “In Herp We Derp”
shariv67 I bet winning the lottery feels a lot like getting your password correct on the first try.
nPhelendriqal I just had a hamburger. No, I mean I gave birth to a hamburger, it was weird.
TwoAdults Eating a donut and drinking cranberry juice. Because I like my hips wide and my urinary tract healthy.
nerdamage This isn’t about popularity. It’s about punishing the Internet with your mind.
osodemadre Orson put on a pair of overalls for the first time, “SUPER MARIO PANTS?!””
RideOrDiePudge Damn typo! Last time I ever Tweet while snorting Avon Jasmine Bath Salts.
redherringbear I need you to finish composing your flatulence concerto toot suite.
wawoodworth The irony of print newspaper folks questioning the relevancy of libraries is extraordinary.
JoeyPositivity Password Question: Who is your best friend? *cheese* Correct.
Mortimusgerbil “No You Can’t Do Yoga With A Cat”: And Other Ways Your Children Will Try to Prove You Wrong
Smethanie My flight doesn’t have wifi so I’m just gonna hit the call button and tell the flight attendant every time I think of something amusing.
tommycm I’m using Siri to dictate my tweets from now on it may seem like an important businessman
PoorRobin The Mr wonders why I’m not asking for his help with a scene involving two boys kissing. (Hint: His use of the word “Mantonsils”)
emoryshatzer I’m sorry I let my air guitar fall by the wayside. #regrets
DadBeard How I explain the Holy Trinity: Minnie Driver, Mini Driver, mini-driver. Actress, Consumer, Most Tiny Driver. All three the same person.
DrMaldoror Accidentally dried my face with the haircut towel. None of you should ever do that.
MagpieLibrarian Is Annoyed Librarian more like Ann Coulter or a Real Housewife of Library Journal? Please discuss.
apodixis Uh… it’s actually not a great idea for people who live in normal wood or brick houses to throw stones either.
marlespo My love for you is like that pigeon over there. Stupid, and should go away already. Shoo.
sweden This evening I’ve been making meat balls and put together an IKEA table. Yes, I’m Swedish.
pontiuslabar Just told the printer, “Your mom’s out of paper.” So there’s Monday in a nutshell.
ApocalypseHow Ironically, the only person who can’t describe their bedroom as “where the magic happens” is a magician.
redsesame Trees are dog internets. When my dog pees on a tree, I just assume he’s adding a comment to a blog thread. That comment is always LOL WUT
TheMamamash And for my next trick, I will fold six loads of laundry with a toddler hanging off my leg and a fetus trying to break out, Alien-style.
MassageByTed You’d appreciate this shit way more if you knew that I composed all my tweets on a Little Professor.
daggerbyte Wish it was “mo’ problems, mo’ money.” That would be pretty awesome.
YesThatAmy Tweetup, tonight! Underwear aisle at Target, 8pm. Bring chips
kelkulus I wonder if Darth Vader force chokes himself when he masturbates.
karentozzi Just danced with a cat. This is how it all ends.
apelad Now That’s What Someone Calls Music?!
thebryanpaulk Just paid 8 laborers outside of Home Depot to be in my book club…and, as per usual, no one has read the book. Sheesh!
sgnp Spent a really long time trying to convince my daughter Tweety’s a boy and believe I now have greater insight into religious fundamentalism.
usedwigs Sorry, I did not want to get all sappy this New Year’s Eve but that’s what happens when you take down the Christmas tree without gloves.
PoorRobin This game of “cats” that’s being played downstairs between the girls better not end with anyone shitting in a box.
hipchkk I inadvertently put an extra “p” in “Candy Striper” drastically altering my name, career path and my entire dating profile.
alaykhan new year’s resolution: remember to write 13 instead of 12 on your paper
Mortimusgerbil I was just reminded that one of my top tweets is about that time my kids were puking in tandem off a bunk bed. Twitter, you are a delight.
JerryThomas Turns out failure was an option THE WHOLE TIME!
taralibrara I am eating this leftover Indian food in bed with a big box of tissues because single.
johnmoe I doubt Hegel gets the nod for Sec. of Defense. His idealist view of identity and being is at odds with Obama policy. Plus, dead since 1831.
owlparliament What’s worse: that I’m spending yet another Saturday night deep conditioning my hair and watching ‘Frasier’, or that I don’t mind anymore?
LetMeStart Hey, kids! Know what sounds SUPER F-U-N?!?! Going to bed! Like, right now! HOORAY!!!
johnmoe Weird! My autocorrect changed “Go Seahawks!” to “I hate my mother”. Random!
shutupbuck I wish I could Force Quit You.
InfiniteChicken Caution! 4Chan is NOT a Jackie Chan fansite!
Angel__Bee I bet the Germans have a word for the soul-crushing rage you feel when you get REALLY into a TV show and Netflix only has 1 season of it.
josephesque Haven’t shaved the month of January to raise awareness for colon polyps.
quantumpotpie My wife utilizes the familiar topography of tears & marks on her yoga pants to determine whether they are on backwards.
ArenaFlowers When asking a lady to marry you it’s always wise to begin with the words “Neither of us, especially you, is getting any younger”.
meanniegirard It’s official, we’re now domestic partners in the eyes of Costco. #romantic
matthewbaldwin Teenaged girls in “FREE HUGS” t-shirts are part of a sting operation, I’ve discovered.
prodigalsam How was Hogwarts, people who can get their straw in a Capri Sun on the first try?
shariv67 Still not sure whether I’m supposed to want my electronics to be really really big or really really small.
theleanover Pretty good day to get myself stuck in the window display at the Guess store.
RideOrDiePudge “I’m actually an Elvis Impersonator Impersonator” ~ Post-modern Vegas Performer
quantumpotpie “Why is ‘Touched by an Angel’ a purple link on IMDB?!” – what I really worry about my wife saying when she uses my laptop
robdelaney I just tried to start my car with a toenail clipper instead of keys! One other thing: my car is a butternut squash & I’m on cocaine.
mikeleffingwell I feel like the bare minimum of thought went into naming noisemakers.
sallyelegant It’s like I always say, “Let me borrow your iPhone charger.”
PheasantPluckr Spring rolls are my favourite noun and verb.
pourmecoffee The $1 trillion coin should be hidden in random candy bar and Geithner gives whoever finds it the most magical tour of the Treasury ever.
helgagrace You guys, I am going to drink SO much tea today. #goals
finslippy Henry wants to know what my top 3 favorite films are and all I could think of was youtube videos of elephants and puppies playing with bears.
SquiggleJay That was some pretty good sleeping I just did. *pats self on back*
littlehipsqks Nate just crumbled a donut up in E’s oatmeal so he’d eat it. Parents of the year, everyone.
ProfessorSnack At some point nature said “I don’t think the septapuss is quite what I’m looking for”.
kelkulus My best friend was a brother-from-another-mother until my mom heard about him and filed for divorce.
sarcasmically Just occurred to me how much the flu is like a bad batch of shrooms.
mitdasein Wesley Snipes to star in “50 Blades of Grey.”
TheChrisAngel Yes, sir. I understand our project is due today but I’ve been spending all my time on this graph which illustrates why bears are cool.
loveismayhem My precious sons have not stopped arguing yet. I think the time has come to eat them.
usedwigs I adjusted my office chair seat to be slightly taller than the trash can so I can easily wipe all my crumbs into it.
muffpunch My new year’s resolution is to not drop my blow dryer attachments into the toilet.
finslippy Dog jumping up from nap means he wants to play or he’s going to puke! I wonder which it will be oh dear.
Katecake Just spent 10 minutes reshaping a $5 Target fedora so I could avoid putting away laundry.
markleggett How do the chupacabras know to only come out after I’ve been sniffing glue for seven hours? Nature is a beautiful mystery.
danguterman Just bought Zooey Deschanel on Etsy.
nPhelendriqal No autocorrect, I don’t want to bang a bunch of hot chimps.
kellyasterisk Is That Mold On My Bread Or Just An Ancient Grain
HonestToddler Asked if fish have butts. They laughed. That’s the last time I put myself out there.
joshgondelman I like all the things about running that aren’t running. (Eating carbs, comfortable footwear, being cheered.)
JenO_Eh What do you mean your “milkshake” brings the boys to the yard? Hopefully not the lactating breasts as I can’t help but imagine.
STACEYNIGHTMARE I’ve been called a “Cougar” but it’s mostly for the way I drag men up into trees.
catagator protip: too lazy to capitalize “i?” use an l. NO ONE WILL KNOW BUT YOU.
PinterestFake Baby scissors (for a baby)
MyHairyLife Can’t tell if my 2 year old is screaming I LOVE JESUS or I LOVE CHEEZ-ITS.