Follow Friday – Shopping for Glasses

Anthony was due for new frames and lenses and so of course we waited until the end of the year to get them. While Anthony took care of the paperwork Isobel decided she needed glasses, too.

Have a great weekend!

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

debenham Doing our traditional holiday reading of A Christmas Carol in class-appropriate Victorian accents! (We’re watching He-Man/She-Ra Christmas.)

KimKierkegaard Christmas makeup is all about shimmer, sparkle, reds and greens and touches of gold, and masking our dread in dissolute sensuality.

sbellelauren my checking account just told me to get a job :(

quantumpotpie Snow falls slowly on Fangorn, as Ents trod into a clearing to place parcels, wrapped in bark & moss, under a brightly-decorated human torso.

MaddiYee Regardless of how bad your first boyfriend was, at least he didn’t turn out to be a Nazi that almost killed your family. #SoundofMusic

vforrestal I just went up to talk to my parents, forgetting I had a tiara on. Neither of them commented on it. I think this means I’m winning at life.

 Angel__Bee Matt: That guy’s a real dickbag. Me: I don’t get that. dicks aren’t in bags. Matt: Like a bag of dicks. Me: but how did they get in the bag?

theleanover I wanted to make a joke about seeing my elliptical trainer only once a year but I don’t think enough people know how planetary orbit works.

KeepinItSnazzy Heyyyyy hexy lady *screams at witch butt* *apologizes to everyone individually for this tweet*

theleanover “Dalek Rock” is my favourite song by MC T.A.R.D.I.S. & The Rhymelords.

GreenishDuck Checking behind a shower curtain and actually finding a guy with a knife is like winning the worst lottery ever.

lateandsoon I moan for comical effect abt what a pain in the ass parenting is, but then my son & I jig in the kitchen to The Pogues & bluster dissolves.

theleanover What’s the polite way to tell someone you’re miserable without them? And also does anyone have She-Ra, Princess Of Power’s email address?

Katieannab Playing christmas games. Current game: Wheres the poo? Can smell it but not find it. Super fun game! Yay me.

ScrewyDecimal Don’t worry, guys. I will try EVERY brand of bourbon MULTIPLE times so that I can find another one I like.

J__Swift Couldn’t reach my loofah so I pumiced my armpits and now I opened doors to Narnia all up in there.

NicLewis No one knows how, but a strange blue box just appeared in ancient Mayan carvings. #ReasonWhyTheMayanApocalypseFizzled

MagpieLibrarian It turns out I suddenly find myself needing to know the plural of apocalypse.

slackmistress My Christmas Wish is that the Founding Fathers return as Scrooge’s ghosts and clarify some shit.

eenereener My hangover taught me about mercy.

owlparliament It doesn’t look like the Extraordinary Chickens wall calendar I bought for myself will arrive before Christmas, yet somehow I keep on.

Soulsmithy Snowblower broken. Nine inches expected this weekend. Tell me of this flat-bladed implement you hoo-mans call a “shovel.”

gershbec They say that ignorance is bliss but I actually find it very stressful.

TheEricGosselin All the most thoughtful critiques of movies always start with “I haven’t seen the movie yet, but…”

papersquared Every time @exlibris favorites a tweet, an angel gets her wings. Or something. I don’t know, I’ve never seen that movie.

pattonoswalt How about attaching a second gun to the gun you already have? And then a knife onto the second gun, with a gun on that knife? #iamsmart

isplotchy Over 20,000 tweets without a subtweet! Aw shit. This is a subtweet, isn’t it. Fuck.

wordlust I wonder if getting waterboarded is as painful as talking on the phone.

ILikeMyke I’m sad there was no apocalypse, because it would have been the perfect excuse for hitting people I hate with golf clubs.

RichardKimNYC It’s true that the popularity of Angry Birds has led to a massive increase in slingshot fatalities.

RussCundiff the NRA’s plan to stop school shootings is literally the plot of Kindergarten Cop.

fathertorey It’s midnight! We lived! Praise Quetzalcoatl!

apelad Once my archive of tweets is available I’m going to unzip it, format it for printing, print it, laminate it, then use it as a slip n’ slide.

HeidiCF8 I love you so much it squirts. *OhmygodthatsgrossandSEND!

eihposa I don’t care if the world ends because a) I’ve got my towel and b) the Doctors got this.

MelissaStetten Got in the shower with my bra on. Lexapro/Wellbutrin 2012.

souphead People are so funny. Dude at bus terminal openly shamelessly air guitar-ing his document tube thing. Not listening to anything-no headphones.

aannetdonahue “You have my permission to die.” – “For the last time, they’re called DICE, Mr. Hardy. And I ROLL them. Whenever I want.”

kelkulus Christmas shopping just got really easy for your Mayan friends; apparently they all need new calendars.

AdrianChen From now on nobody is allowed to say “The Mayans were right!” unless Quetzalcoatl is literally tearing their chest open to eat their heart.

shinyinfo I got pickle juice all over my cat shirt. #SpinsterProblems

webjournalist If the whole end-of-the world thing happens tomorrow, I still want my last tweet to be: Get rich or die Mayan.

jnomina Super excited for Mayan Angelou Day tomorrow, you guys.

eenereener The drinks are on the company so I intend to bankrupt someone tonight.


alexiskwerk I hate when you get home for Christmas & there aren’t any candy canes. Amateur hour up in here

introvertedwife My new plan in life is to train squirrels to scoop driveways. I’ll make billions!

Krud My urge to be polite and friendly is frequently at war with my desire to be sincere and genuine.

WilliamAder Got promoted from Patsy to Scapegoat this morning.

torgospizza Light is faster than sound, but stupid is faster than smart.

sbellelauren just said i love you to my new curtains might be time to get a life

badbanana Here’s my TV show idea. It’s just like “Finding Bigfoot” except it’s about finding a pair of pants that fit me properly.

kelkulus #HowToPissAGirlOff Turn the lights down low, cover her with kisses, pour honey on her naked body, then unleash the squirrels.

notthatkendall Turns out there’s a cologne that smells like Hunter Thompson during Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and it’s available exclusively at the DMV

norcross grabbing a handful of Jelly Bellys and eating them, sight unseen, is like playing Russian Roulette with your mouth.

suitcasetricks Am I the only one who has ever fantasized about cleaning up her house with a giant leaf blower?

robdelaney Just threw a bunch of Christmas cards away. My friends’ children are all terribly ugly/misshapen.

marlespo I’m gonna sleep the fuck out of this nap, you just watch me. (please don’t actually watch me.)

telephase @exlibris Isn’t that precious! You got her a new box for Christmas! Now she’s ready for a liberal arts degree.

EveryTweet_Ever If I make it to a milestone follower count by an arbitrary deadline, I will disguise my gloating as thankfulness.

FuschiaFoot You know how there’s that house selling saint that you bury in your yard or whatever? I’d bury one for toddler sleep. Get on it, Pope.

anomicman Matthew, Mark, Luke and John Bless this bed that I sleep on John, Paul, George and Ringo Save my baby from the dingo

anomicman Is there an innocent use for a burlap sack?

ItsTheGrumpyCat Never give up on your dreams. Keep sleeping.

Frank Lesser ?@sadmonsters “You just ate Chinese food, am I right?” –The world’s worst fortune cookie

GriffLightning  #PerksOfDatingMe n/a

linajk Decided to kick myself into gear this morning. I settled on ‘Park’

EveryTweet_Ever Something weird happened lately. I guess the Mayans were right! I am begging you to unfollow me.

TinyNietzsche Who has two thumbs… wait, three thumbs… oh man, this bag is full of them.

inversejaik If I put these four oversized pillows together I can pretend I’m married! Sob.

kelkulus People who complain that my Christmas gifts are “stupid” and “thoughtless” clearly have no idea how hard it is to wrap a pineapple.

sgnp My wife caught my kid’s bug. Pretty excited at my chances, you guys.

introvertedwife Damn Eagles trying to take all our Hobbits.

theneener You know that saying, “Once you go two monitors, you can never go back.”

JenO_Eh I drank a litre of water this morning out of sheer boredom. And now I have to pee. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

pnkrcklibrarian Every time you mansplain technology to me, god kills a kitten.

theleanover That moment when you realize you’ve been listening to the Little Mermaid soundtrack for 15 minutes by accident.

vladchoc Geppetto could have wished for rock hard abs. Didn’t even consider it. What a dickhead.

ecareyo I didn’t know McDonald’s Express existed till now. That’s great because sometimes I just want to feel like shit even quicker.

JerryThomas Sorry to ruin it for everybody, but I’m going to bed now.

eareeve “Truckin’…some stupid hippie shit. Truckin’…probably something about cocaine.” ~ The words to “Truckin'” probably

Jedimasterbator “Love is bland.” – Stevie Wonderbread

allisonthemeep Hey, Jesus. Now would be a pretty good time to take the wheel.

introvertedwife I’m in love. No wait, it’s a stroke.

thebookpolice Fairly certain our oddest neighbor has tossed his chirping smoke detector into the yard rather than change the battery.

rstevens The Passion of the Christ Starring Commander Riker

pancaketwats Spilling floor cleaner only makes the floor cleaner.

VaguelyFunnyDan I can’t take all the credit for my Twitter aptitude. My Great Grandfather live Morse Coded World War I.

owlparliament A nice euphemism for vagina is “kinderhaus”.

LetMeStart My sweet-faced, tiny-tushied 5yo girl just caused a thunderous Fart Tsunami in the bath tub. Man, I just love this kid.

davepell My aging anatomy has reached the point where I take it personally when someone uses the phrase: Low Hanging Fruit.

JulieFredericks Her: His teeth are starting to come in and he’s biting me! Me: Should he have a..chew toy..? (I’m not a mom)

tommycm I’ve trained my dog to fetch me a glass of red wine. It’s a Bordeaux Collie.

mocoddle And that’s why it’s called a PEEnis.

Zaius13 My wife says that the California state flower has an enormous phallic stamen. I told her that was poppycock.

annsrants Whenever I fold the king-sized pillowcases around our deflated regular-sized pillows, I remember I should probably get fitted for a new bra.

BeTheBoy Waking up to discover I’d Googled the guy who wrote the Jim Morrison bio is the greatest shame I’ve ever felt.

owlparliament I’m just here to bust up stereotypes about some historically unfunny groups: feminists, vegans, and daywalkers.

annetdonahue I like my coffee hot, my donuts in front of me, and my tired joke formulas tweeted.

Toaster_Pastry The beanie cap is always in fashion for the police composite sketch.

ordermeanother Whomever said it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all is full of it. In unrelated news I just ran out of coffee.

EvenMoreSarah @exlibris Don’t mean to boast but I’m totally a wizard. #dumblebrag

lemoneyes A boy without an asteroid, a meadow without sharks #AbsurdMovieTaglines

sgnp You Will Believe a Marmalade Banjo #AbsurdMovieTaglines

lemoneyes Just when you thought they couldn’t #AbsurdMovieTaglines

lowdudgeon Bigger. Faster. Smarter. Slower again. Not so big. Back up. Another inch. That’s it. Keep ‘er coming. #AbsurdMovieTaglines

sgnp Open the Skin Door and This Train Will Feed You #AbsurdMovieTaglines

NicLewis You won’t want to stop not watching. #AbsurdMovieTaglines

DrMaldoror This summer, get ready for a mouthful of mystery… #AbsurdMovieTaglines

DrMaldoror  Forget everything you thought you knew about macramé. #AbsurdMovieTaglines

Jedimasterbator Can you hear no one scream in space? #AbsurdMovieTaglines

lowdudgeon An umbrella. And TWO HARD-BOILED EGGS. #AbsurdMovieTaglines

lowdudgeon He’s got one hour to find the stapler. #AbsurdMovieTaglines

Quadrupus All the shenanigans you never expected will be re-foibled. #AbsurdMovieTaglines

lowdudgeon There’s a new tulip in town. #AbsurdMovieTaglines

willgoldstein Crowded airplanes: an infant’s most powerful laxative.

debenham Doing our traditional holiday reading of A Christmas Carol in class-appropriate Victorian accents! (We’re watching He-Man/She-Ra Christmas.)

KimKierkegaard Christmas makeup is all about shimmer, sparkle, reds and greens and touches of gold, and masking our dread in dissolute sensuality.

Katecake My sons got monogrammed robes & ascots for Christmas because my mother is history’s greatest hero.

eshep Settings missing from sound machines: cat purring, dishwasher, football broadcast.

tweet of the week

WilliamAder Just noticed my desk calendar ends on December 31. Here we go again.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

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