I want to start a new tradition here on Little Big. Once a month I’d like to feature a guest photographer for my Follow Friday posts. Today’s guest photographer is my dear friend of one million years Justin Walton. He’s a nerdy dude whose married to one of my bestest friends and father to one of the cutest little boys ever to sink a ship made of Legos, Kingston. I once saw him tongue-kiss an owl. He loves video games, D&D, and photography. He can make a mean lemon bar, quote Adventure Time with the best of them, and has put up with my shit for nearly twenty years. Here are some photos they took while on a trip to Santa Cruz last summer.
Have a great weekend!
marlespo Keep Calm And STOP TELLING ME TO KEEP CALM I AM SO FUCKING CALM AND CALM IS MY MIDDLE FUCKING NAME
abbytron Go ahead, keep telling me that honey is bee vomit. It doesn’t change the fact that it’s delicious.
stateofnick How many times do you have to order ‘Mein Kampf’ and ‘Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs’ together on a Kindle before the Feds show up?
Bored_Ghost Found balloons in the man’s drawer, they are funny shape and come in little packets, Durex or something? I drew faces on them, Classic!
apodixis The cats don’t seem to understand the concept of bathroom privacy. But I guess I don’t understand the concept of licking your own butthole.
paleofuture “Food from a truck? That sounds sad.” – a whole bunch of 5-year-olds in 2062
paleofuture “Mom, why are Grandma and Grandpa dressed like zombies in so many pictures?” – a whole bunch of 5-year-olds in 2062
SquiggleJay Wow, Kristen Stewart is amazing. She has to be the most lifelike robot I’ve ever seen!
slackmistress UGH I’LL NEVER BE FAMOUS ON TWITTER I GUESS I’LL JUST HAVE TO BE AWESOME IN REAL LIFE.
wordlust I had a hamburger with bacon and peanut butter tonight. In other words, I ate the face of God.
marcelaphane Owning and observing my five cats has taught me multitudes about why libertarianism would never, ever work.
JarfOmega Have y’all heard about chicken? IT COMES FROM A BIRD. Turns out birds are literally made out of food. It’s crazy. Look it up.
paleofuture i’ve read jetsons fanfic and let me just say that i don’t recommend it
wd45 When I read a children’s book aloud, I now end by turning to the blank pages at the end and saying “AND THEN THEY GOT CAUGHT IN A SNOWSTORM”
annetdonahue You just KNOW Chekhov ended his arguments by saying, “CHEK. MATE.”
markleggett I need you here, in my arms (being choked out).
ClevelandPoet and then the company that laid me off started following me.
SpaghettiJesus Remember the Cookies©, a movie I’m working on where instead of Titans being remembered you remember you bought cookies then you eat them.
swedishpancake My feelings tasted delicious.
mypetshadow A general rule about people on Twitter seems to be “Attractive, Single, Mentally Stable: Choose Two”
Smethanie Don’t cry over spilled milk. Bawl over it. Someone had to squeeze cow titties for that, you clumsy inconsiderate fuck.
anncoulter Please keep me away from eggs! If I see em I swallow em whole and shoot em out my snakebasket!
paulapoundstone Tuesday pantsed me and Wednesday ran up behind and pushed me down.
quintywinties Do rappers like sex? I’m unsure
quazydellasue The moment at which you contemplate chocolate eggnog is the moment you’ve gone too far.
theresa_lauren There had to be at least one Care Bear who secretly didn’t give a shit.
sarcasmically Can navigate complex tax laws with ease & confidence. Cannot use a tape dispenser without losing a clump of hair and lots of dignity.
DadBeard I find the concept of the “Sexiest Man Alive” degrading. Just imagine if we did this to you, ladies, but every god damned day of the year.
jlweinberg By “just another day in paradise” you mean cleaning up cat puke with your husband’s shirt, right?
JenO_Eh I just said “pretendsies” at work and I’ll just go ahead and fire myself.
notthatkendall I’m wearing a bunny sweater right now, so if you’ve ever considered running me over with your car, today’s the day!
TheBosha Having a sexual liaison with my autobiographer
schmutzie When people change their avatars for a cause, all I know is I don’t recognize them anymore & I can’t tell what the cause is.
debenham Test your attentiveness as a driver! Let a bag of oranges fall over and roll around on your passenger side floor! Nearly kill 3 people!
pourmecoffee Celebrating Monet’s birthday by not really worrying too much about the details.
thereverendcink if I have learned anything from modern his hop it is, that you HAVE to get the dirt off your shoulders
sgavinesq Why the fuck does Send All even exist? It’s like having a car with a Crash Now button.
PoorEvelyn While investigating scandalous emails, perhaps the FBI can discover who starts those Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: jokes.
donni dammit owls you KNOW who this is
RenegadeSeaCow Calgon. You know what to do.
SarcasticRover Let’s be honest, there’s only one reasonable choice for TIME’s Person of the Year, and it’s an atomic robot.
jennyvsjenny if someone invented chana masala potato chips i would high five them at least 3 times and i’d also get real fat
josephesque People with “Juicy” branded on your ass: Ewwwwwwww
sgnp Me: What can I do for you Betty? What can I doooo-hoooo-HOOO for you, Betty? Betty: Stop singing.
markleggett Obama should pull American troops out of Afghanistan right now, except for one guy. They could do it while he’s in the toilet, as a prank.
bumlaser Been quiet today because this morning I ran the coffee machine w/o the jug in position. It’s taken me this long to recover from the ordeal.
sween Yes, I know my fly is down. It’s called a *life hack*.
HonestToddler RT if you fake cough to get attention.
JLYoungsma All I’m asking is someone to pop my toes and bring me coffee. My kids are useless.
hipsterplease So is this secession talk for real, or is it like when my kid doesn’t like what’s for dinner and decides he’s gonna move in with his friend?
MmeLaCrooz Yeah, I’ll squeeze the toothpaste from the middle of the tube. I don’t give a fuck.
awrightbrian A dear old friend from home emailed me, worried Obamacare will implant an RFID chip in everyone. So sad. I tried to explain it doesn’t hurt.
slackmistress Farting in a Snuggie has to be one Dante’s Circles of Hell.
Smethanie If my boyfriend really wanted me to get ready to go places quicker, all he has to do is play the running-out-of-time music from Mario.
keithlaw Applebee’s says they won’t build more restaurants because of the Affordable Care Act. Clearly we should have passed that thing years ago.
specialwithaQ It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas! Which the Doctor states is unusual for a tumour.
shariv67 TLC Show ideas: I Didn’t Know I was Hysterically Pregnant Honey Boob Job Little People, Big Schlongs Extreme Cupcake Hoarding
JensenClan88 Once a week I think about how the main dude in Catfish had a tramp stamp.
SquiggleJay I don’t think I can do Facebook anymore. Those people suck. I mean, you guys are assholes too, but you’re lovable assholes.
Ahm76 Have you ever looked at a pile of waiting room magazines and felt like OH MY GOD I HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON WITH THIS WHOLE WORLD
TheEricGosselin Still not convinced that 95% of you are real people
markleggett Does my butt look TOO good in this? *slips on a large zip-lock plastic bag with leg holes cut out of it, bends over all the way*
thesulk “Legs” is basically a song about a girl who knows how to walk.
michael_J_m00n Trying to learn slide guitar but I keep falling off of it.
marlespo FF this tortilla chip going into my mouth AHH AHH I’m gonna eat it AHH too late. unfollow.
matthewbaldwin Do you need a white guy to perform what you mistakenly believe to be “rapping” at a corporate event? Check me out on LinkedIn!
introvertedwife “Are you Smarter than This Rock?” We have our first contestant, Roger. Are you smarter than this rock? *Throws rock at him.* I guess not.
MsStabby I wish a manual retweet was as fun as it sounds.
kellyasterisk Just decided that our anniversary is the night we parked next to that dumpster.
iboudreau So yeah. Trolls, all I have to say to you is COME THE FUCK AT ME, BRO.
badbanana There should be a special Emmy award for any TV actor who acknowledges the food in front of them during a restaurant scene.
PolyesterPony Let’s all pretend I’m not shitfaced. Shhhh. Shhh.
TheNardvark I hate to brag, but I still fit into the same DSM-IV classification I had in high school.
SuburbanComa I purchased Cymbalta on the Internet to save a few bucks for my husband’s depression and now he’s a world class percussionist
morninggloria Victoria’s Secret is pills. Lots of pills.
Sean_Browning I prefer all my moots to be pointy.
PoorRobin Tried to stifle a sneeze near sleeping Youngergirlchild and ended up making a noise like a duck having a blowout at 80 miles per hour.
owlparliament Let Me Point To The Top Of My Tights, Right Here Under My Bra! is a fun game that I like to play.
Sundry Nervous about today’s parent-teacher conference. My kid’s doing fine, but I don’t think my ass can fit in one of those tiny chairs.
suitcasetricks You’ve gotta love a person whose idea of a scathing insult is “You pooped in your pants.” 4-year-olds are awesome!
schmutzie I just found myself feeling bad for the dogs that ranked lower down the page in a Google image search for “ridiculously cute dog”.
lizzwinstead From a nutritional perspective, Cheetos are more “Toes” than “Chee”
Leemanish Son, I was ruining solid premises with poor execution before you were even born.
acoulon I like it when a band brings 4 sets of drum sticks. It shows ambition.
chickenscottpie Amazon, why is “pig diaper cake” a suggested search term?
MattKirschner Opinions are like assholes… don’t share yours on Facebook.
MrWordsWorth I haven’t seen the Fail Whale for a while. I hope he’s okay.
KenJennings My son is in the “gifted” class at school. At least 3x a week I pick his toothbrush up off the bathroom floor, face down next to the toilet.
rikpayne I seriously doubt Sir Mix-a-Lot has ever been officially knighted.
What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further. Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.