Let’s get right to the good stuff! And the winner of the Craft, Interrupted Scribble Wallet is… Lindsey! Congratulations!! I will be emailing you with the pertinent details shortly.

Since this is an election cycle I did include some political-type tweets in this week’s post. I’m sure some of you have election fatigue so I put them all in the first block of the post. If you don’t feel like getting politics in your eye you can skip them.

Have a great weekend!

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

SarahThyre A flock of seagulls, a murder of crows, a millennium of condors, a rumpus of vultures, a shit-ton of peafowl, a binder of women. #debate

fishface74 Romney needs to get with the 21st century and start storing his women in an iPad. #debate

marcelaphane Snuggling into my binder for the night! God bless America! #debate

kate_leth Ive got binders full of pokémon cards mr romney would u like to trade? Do u have any holofoil womens #debate

wilw The only women in my binder are bad ass D&D characters. Roll for initiative, Governor. #debate

SteveMartinToGo I won the debate!  #debate

PaulRyanGosling Hey girl, I just put you in my binder. #debate

UnblinkingEar Hey @MittRomney: If “government does not create jobs,” why are you running for President instead of creating jobs in the private sector?  #debate

MaryPols I’m a single mother and I just can’t stop my 8 year-old from running around with his AK-47. I really need a husband. #debate

BeTheBoy Dear Mr. President. When this is over, shout 4 More Years! Drop the mic and walk off stage.  #debate

torgospizza Someone smack Romney, I think his vocal disc is skipping!  #debate

thegreenmamba I’m still waiting for questions from the under-represented minorities I know best: racist email forwarding uncles.  #debate

Mike_Doughty_ And as the word “binder” left his lips, all comedians burst into tears of tender gratitude. #debate

january_samurai VP debates: the formal exchange of bitch slaps. #debate

slackmistress Don’t bring a car crash story to a Joe Biden fight. #debate

jackmackenroth Please tell me that someone has already named their really long-faced, bitchy horse “Ann Colt-er”.

BtotheD If running around in tighty whiteys & speaking in an Australian accent pretending to be Crocodile Undies is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

jillsmo I wonder what a timeline looks like if you’re following fewer than 3,000 people. I bet it moves slowly enough so you can read it.

killyougood Sometimes I’m jealous that no matter what its doing, a toddler its having a blast. “we’re gonna count to 5?!? FUCK YEAH!!”

MrBoom Just back from crash course in driving

MrWordsWorth Ozzy Osbourne Once More Successfully Prevented From Dropping, Eating Grandchild.

eareeve Email: “Amazon thanks you…” for getting buzzed and spending money on their website for the 2nd night in a row.

introvertedwife I scared away three more followers! Only 1,945 more to go.

Mortimusgerbil Hey. Remember that time my sister-inlaw talked endlessly about her sex life and I silently hummed The Muppet Show theme song in my head?

xunglam Re-reading Hamlet. Surprised by the number of winky-smiley faces Shakespeare uses.

wordlust Batman has three rules: No guns. No killing. No farting in the Batmobile.

owlparliament I can hear the dog’s stomach gurgling, which makes me think: dogarrhea.

SandyBoynton Spent 5 hrs writing code. So far it goes like this: . . . — — — . . .

BeTheBoy Pepcid AC is nice but for real rockin’ heartburn I use Pepcid AC/DC, it soothes me all night long. #NotAPaidPost

deadlately i used to have gander issues, but now i accept myself for what i am. a beautiful, majestic he-goose

Athenabee I should feel guilty for making cinnabuns from a tube but I’m too busy eating them.

lazerdoov I got a concussion and accidentally wrote 3 Adam Sandler movies.

LIFECOACHERS You are but the larval stage of a glorious creature that will only suck part of the time.

JLYoungsma Sprained my thumb putting on Spanx. Total ego boost.

WeBeReading Yes, I did just count bedtime story in my #readathon minutes and pages.

VaguelyFunnyDan “Your Honor, I just feel like no one’s giving me credit for the many times I DIDN’T shoot a bus driver.”

WilliamAder Typos will be the dearth of me.

TheRedQueen I was going to make fun of the movies on Lifetime right now, “Satan’s School for Girls” but I realized I have seen it before. Joke’s on me!

sprodigalsam Decaf is the O’Douls of coffee.

PolyesterPony Pretty sure I’m dying but I am going to go get some coffee first.

jerryrenek I’m a skilled problem solver. I once learned to push the lever for a food pellet in only two days.

prodigalsam Slept like a baby last night (was up all night crying).

prodigalsam How many calories does eating ten pieces of bacon burn?

apatheticist I always have much better reasons to murder people than the guys who actually do it.

sp3ct0r My mom’s first attempt at troubleshooting was calling a neighbor to see if their email was also gone.

J__Swift This Spiderman guy. Shouldn’t he be shooting webs out his butt?

geomcgrande L is for the way you Look tonight. O is for O Sweet Jesus I’m singing to a burrito.

WilliamAder I spend an awful lot of time picking the most desirable potato chips out of the bag for someone who’s going to eat them all anyway.

MentalAbortions It’s really not necessary to keep reminding me why I don’t like you.

MisterBombay I buy and return from Baby Gap just so when the cashier asks why I’m returning, I say “wasn’t mine!”, then attempt to high-five everyone.

TheBloggess My daughter’s Christopher Columbus school play: Adorable. Factually incorrect. Mildly offensive. All the things a school play should be.

annetdonahue Patrick Stewart, Michael Dorn and Brent Spiner lip sync and dance to “Talkin’ Bout My Generation” (in my dreams)

Biorhythmist If I see something I don’t understand I just assume it’s krumping.

TheSluttyComic I don’t think I could ever successfully stab someone. I mean, let’s be honest. I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun.

FarrenSquare Accidentally fell asleep on the floor this morning. Woke to discover my face and torso covered in spider stickers. Happy Halloween?

SarahIvy My day thus far includes raking leaves and pretending my car doesn’t exist. Both are good for my mental health.

marlespo I REALLY want to tweet something funny but I just can’t so I’m pretty sure I understand blue balls.

DamienFahey Ladies, are you having wine? Don’t be shy. Let us know about it on all of your social media websites.

Caissie You know who’s a job creator? Me. Because I never put my shopping cart back in the corral.

MrWordsWorth Let’s bounce! – me, standing outside a bouncy castle.

RideOrDiePudge Put down that Judy Blume book and make love to me, you beast of a man.

chickenscottpie Laugh all you want, but warm nuts are among the most delicious things on the planet.

Greeblemonkey Parents! Teach your children sign language early and you can sign to each other when you have to use the bathroom at concerts forever!

danguterman Know what’s funny? Puting a baby in a high-chair made of skulls, because yes my lord, right away, I’ll bring your applesauce right away.

YarnGeek Etsy seller refers to an item as “eye dropping gorgeous”. FLEE WHILE YOU STILL CAN!

Zaius13 I put the dick in predicament. And now I’m stuck. :(

LSH85 Remind your kids that they’re just yard kids waiting to happen. It’s good to let them know where they stand.

sunexplode It started with drive-by scratching and now poop outside the box to send a message. I live in fear of the next phase of his diabolical plan.

LetMeStart Underboob sweat on a beautiful Autumn day just seems totally unfair.

mitdasein Look Who’s Taken Now!

IGotsSmarts Bears would make great talk show hosts, if only they wouldn’t maul the guests.

paul_gude Before you die your life flashes before your eyes and you can interact with it by stealing individual socks and hiding your own keys.

MassageByTed Sun-dried tomatoes are good, yes, but you get much the same effect from leaving half a tomato on the counter for a couple of days.

Caissie If you don’t have a FB relationship w/a stepbrother who fronts a reggae band & believes gov’t controls the weather, I feel sorry for you. :(

cloudcm I just bought a soda and taco bell because I finished a cleanse yesterday and that’s what you’re supposed to do.

louisvirtel I’m not saying Rihanna is a robot, but it’s easy to picture her harmonizing with my printer.

JettSuperior ‘Safety Dance’ came on the radio and my kid went a little nuts and all is right with the world for at least a little bit.

CroweJam Forgive me dude, for I have thinned. – My hair

PJ_CRACKER I don’t think I will ever die doing what I love… Because what I love is not dying.

Lilacmess Trying to figure out how to fit a dance party at my parent’s house for the joint birthday party. How will I do cartwheels? This is a problem

wordlust My three biggest fears are snakes and math.

vladchoc Decompose before hoes.

jenstatsky Last time I went through Canadian customs and they asked me if I had anything to declare, I said, “You guys make great maple syrup!”

donni The Stevie Wonder song “Superstition” is way more fun if you change the first words to “Very stupid bitches…”

Cheezburger There is a person out there for everyone. Your person may happen to be five cats.

shariv67 According to my sources, I am not a journalist.

iboudreau Whichever of you is helping make the sit-com “Dinosaurs” popular on Netflix, we need to have a talk

MagpieLibrarian The best way to deal with teens hitting on you is to make vomit and/or fart sounds until they go away.

markleggett With great power comes great power bill.

prodigalsam Have you ever been on an actual gravy train? Sounds incredible.

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.