Follow Friday – Acadamy of Sciences

One year my friends celebrated my friend Stef and my joint birthday by visiting the newly redone California Academy of Sciences in Golden Gate Park. Since it had just reopened the place was packed, I mean packed. If the T-Rex had suddenly come alive and started walking through the museum and waving its spindly arms about no one would have noticed. I really had a great time despite the crowds and before we left we got to see the planetarium exhibit, the reason I wanted to visit in the first place. Not two minutes after we had settled in the theater’s comfortable chairs and the lights went out I could hear soft snoring coming from either side of me. Most of my friends, including Anthony, slept through the 30 minute lecture.

Have a great weekend!

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.

trumpetcake So psyched for cape weather!!!

KenJennings I just hid a “geo-cache” in my office, guys! Who can find it? The coordinates are: between the speakers & the stapler! (Hint it’s a cookie)

TheNextMartha Domino’s Tracker has really reinstalled my faith in the pizza industry.

baratunde I just confused myself for someone else and replied to my own email. #naptime

danforthfrance Is Jet Ski Polish?

SamuelMoen This guy literally just described his website/app idea as “LinkedIn-meets-Yelp.” Just sat down wearing a monk’s robe and set myself ablaze

paleofuture “The 2012 election can be seen as a turning point for public tolerance of so-called ‘parody accounts.’” – some nerd’s dissertation in 2094

heliumcell Jesus. Hootie and the Blowfish. Fuck. I had totally blocked that out.

trumpetcake FOLLOW AND YOU MAY WIN MY EXCLUSIVE GIFT BASKET! [$4 in change, hard-boiled egg resembling Cokie Roberts, tin of Poppycock, two small flags]

AOAM_Librarian I just had one of the mothers of my story time kids tell me that when her daughter goes home she pretends to be me and reads books.

TheNardvark I just got a tetanus shot if anyone wants to get weird later.

mikeleffingwell I wish my dog spoke English. But no, just Chinese.

GenialeWesen You can argue about it all you want, but at the end of the day, it’s 11:59 pm.

AristotlesNZ Coworker asked if I’ve ever tried scream therapy. If she means yelling at your kids till one of your retinas detached, then yes.

johnmoe The whole idea of “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” seems cooked up by the big egg basket companies to sell more egg baskets.

josephesque “Bjork” would be a good word for someone to say when they stick their finger in someone else’s belly button.

muffpunch ? hey I just met you/and this is crazy/but does this look infected ?

iasshole Oh GOOD 5 Hour Energy now has a pink one for October Boobs! MY BOOBS DO GET SLEEPY AROUND 3 PM and then cancer around 50 probably.

craigbaldo Congratulations Facebook on your 1 billionth user today. And to the one billionth user, way to have your finger on the pulse.

explodingboy_ Interesting fact: all of my tweets are scheduled tweets. I actually died 4 years ago in Helsinki.

neiltyson Cutting PBS support (0.012% of budget) to help balance the Federal budget is like deleting text files to make room on your 500Gig hard drive

jtstandup Moderator mumbles about stapler, sets building on fire.

Toaster_Pastry “I like Big Bird….TO EAT!”

louisvirtel No, Romney isn’t rolling his eyes like an asshole. It’s a classy activity called “ocular dressage.”

nystoopmama Romney is sweaty, aggressive & has a weird red mark above his upper lip. Blow?

kevinseccia Watching the debate on Spike was a mistake. So far it’s just some goateed guy explaining how to get laid in a voting booth?

wordlust “ I’m happy I argued with someone on the Internet.” –No one

finslippy I thought the dog was nuzzling me affectionately but turns out I got some cat food on my shin. Story of my life

JulieFroolie When are we all assigned a Moneypenny? I need to keep my gadgets and kills in better order.

alexiskwerk To nap or not to nap? Why am I even asking the question?

jlweinberg If you wear Spanx over your head when robbing a bank your face face will look two sizes smaller!

sarahdessen New addiction: texting Emojis that have nothing to do with message. Like: ON PLANE. Then hypodermic needle and ear of corn.

thereverendcink Once my Gf and I did it, doggy style for half an hour! 4 min. in human time.

mediocrehuman Forgot my phone when I went to poop. Most boring poop ever. Had to make origami out of toilet paper squares to keep occupied.

wordlust My sex life has gotten stale and routine. I think I need to break up with this sheep.

slackmistress Thus concludes my live tweet of today’s car wash. If you’ve been following along, I apologize.

mountain_goats Son, I want to tell you about love…but not just any love…the special love a man can only have for the whole concept of sea monsters

LetMeStart Considering that every time I look at them they’re either napping or licking their junk, I can’t understand why my cats are so damn cranky.

RowdyBowden Jeez, bro. Take a picture. It’ll last longer and go great in a scrapbook with my name in glitter and maybe given to me as a gift? Hint hint!

vladchoc Does Liz Hurley know that her name makes her sound like one of the Garbage Pail Kids?

marlespo lol @ showering

lasertron “uh yeah sure dude. go eat a bowl of tech crunch” cool diss I just thought of, feel free to use

ruthakers If I was Cinderella I’d be appalled at all the shit we’ve turned pumpkins into.

babybabylemon My calendar shows “name a cat day” (today!) but not when daylight savings changes.

ProfessorSnack Just mentioned the movie “The Grapes of Wrath” to someone, if you need me to talk current events with your great grandparents.

acupoftea My crowning achievement so far in Latvia is influencing a five-year-old boy to name his toy beaver “Justin Beaver.”

EveryTweet_Ever Judging everyone else on Twitter, with zero self-awareness.

BillCorbett In Japan BREAKING BAD is called CRAZY CHEMICAL BALD MEN SHOW.

MassageByTed This will never work. We don’t hate the same kinds of people.

vladchoc Captain’s log, stardate -309636.3. My oven seems to be cooking pizza rolls unevenly. I have alerted engineering and will eat these anyway.

proctor Realization: Everything is a mashup with John Cage’s 4’33

maggiesox GUYS GUYS GUYS I just found a recipe for pumpkin chocolate chip cookies and I am on a diet goodbye cruel world

ItsHumanity I keep a “My Nudes” folder on my desktop filled with Earthworm Jim pics in case I ever get hacked

usedwigs Today I will redefine just how short running shorts can be. You’ve been warned, Farmers Market.

BaronOlie Audience driven art gives you nothing but Freebird.

theleanover Twitter: it’s like diarrhea, but with words.

Bored_Ghost The kid is playing in his tent, I tried to recreate a scene from the sixth sense but he can’t see dead people! Twat

MmeSurly My brother is wearing a suit in Chuck E. Cheese/mysteriously single.

AristotlesNZ Today’s revelation: Just yelling “A bee!” lets you can smack anyone in the back of the head with anything & have them thank you for it.

SaraghAdams just killed a fly and he did a breakdance routine for like 30 seconds way to go out with style man

ladchoc Stop the hate. Now start the hate back up. Now stop. Now just the girls. Now everyone but Becky. Everyone hate Becky! Haha. Finally.

lowdudgeon Ghost Cuisine #NewNetflixCatagories

fathertorey  Visually Striking Gritty Psychological Police Procedural Muppet Capers #NewNetflixCatagories

Deefidicus  ’Oh Hell No’ The Films of Will Smith #NewNetflixCatagories

tinarowley Elegant Children’s Horror Thrillers with a Strong Toddler Lead #NewNetflixCatagories

yislash Subtitles in Esperanto. #NewNetflixCatagories

slipperyseal White House Explosions #NewNetflixCatagories

NicLewis Alf Minus Alf. #NewNetflixCatagories

lowdudgeon Turkish versions of Tom Clancy movies #NewNetflixCatagories

NicLewis Bootleg PBS Aerobics Videos. #NewNetflixCatagories

lowdudgeon Soviet Owl Porn #NewNetflixCatagories

NicLewis Farm Animals as Assassins. #NewNetflixCatagories

mitdasein Blasphemous Visually Striking Drug Dramedies Featuring Cerebral Genderqueer Protagonists #NewNetflixCatagories

pushinghoops a baby cried during my entire flight of fancy why do they even allow inner childs on planes, of imagination! haha well that was my tweet

allisonthemeep Fun fact: That fire lane in front of stores isn’t really for firetrucks at all. It’s preferred parking for assholes!

lizzwinstead Nothing says ugly AND expensive like an adult, cashmere onesie

donni “You know what they say about guys with big necks!” -Giraffes

ohrebecca If you were three nipple shields, where would you be? Besides a really weird party.

FakeLibStats Library service desks average 5 devices that in constant danger of being unplugged by the librarian’s feet

JennyJohnsonHi5 ‘Here Comes Honey Boo Boo’ is the reason I always donate money to Planned Parenthood.

thejohnblog I can’t wait to see ‘Lincoln,’ the prequel to ‘Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.’

Wolfrum What amazes me about social media is that I’ve gained a reputation of “Not Being a Dick” simply by not being a dick.

RideOrDiePudge Thankfully on Cat Facebook the POKE function is automatically followed by a vicious BITE response.

robdelaney Not totally sold on astrology, but Libras DEFINITELY hate it when you throw a bucket of paint on their car.

monkeyfartmike Some dislike twitter for giving everyone a voice and believing most have nothing to say. To that I say “poopy”.

hipstermermaid The awkward part about eating toast with Beyoncé is that you never feel fully ready for the jelly.

marlespo Bulimic, Bulimic Hippos. #UnFunToys

marxdudek  Trivial Fursuit #UnFunToys

EvanSmith2  Silly Potty #UnFunToys

LauraHugg Raggedy Anne Frank #UnFunToys

spiritwriter66  retch-a-sketch #UnFunToys

pooblemoo Pick-up Ticks #UnFunToys

witchesvictim  Plague Dough #UnFunToys

___Sharp  Hungry Hungry Hobos #UnFunToys

Digital_Hobo Angry Turds #UnFunToys

Robertomorley  Nicotine Patch Kids #UnFunToys

maliceous my little phoney #UnFunToys

Zaius13 I don’t think of myself as whipped, but my wife does refer to her purse as her “scrote tote”.

alexblagg After spending a little over a week with the iPhone 5 I can definitively say it’s still just this stupid thing I look at constantly.

apelad Boiling this cereal into a thin porridge with milk is grueling!

rstevens Every day is free comic book day in Hulk’s pants

paulapoundstone How could The Jetsons have been so prescient? I put them in the same category as George Orwell.

buck4itt I don’t look at Victoria Secret catalogs anymore. I look at women in Target ads and think, “Mmmmm. I’ll bet she’s responsible with money.”

josephesque I don’t make credit card payments because it’s nice knowing there’s someone out there who wants to talk to me

wordlust Age is just a number. A number that eventually kills you.

Disalmanac Today is also the first day of Rocktober, Mocktober, Spocktober, DocOcktober, Jocktober, Electroshocktober, and Buttocktober. Choose wisely.

theyearofelan Just found out that Dr. Phil is actually a cleverly shaved bear

What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further.  Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.