What I’m up to:
– I’m posting this a day early because I had more panic attacks on Sunday and Monday night. It was awful and the first one I’ve had since everything went downhill on my birthday. This wasn’t as severe as the attacks I’ve had before since I knew what they were this time and had medicine to treat it. I’m lucky Anthony was home when it happened because he made sure I took my medicine and calmed me down. Something weird happens in my head once they start and it’s like I don’t want to take the medicine because I feel like I deserve whatever is happening to me. The doom feeling. I must have caused it somehow, therefore, I must deserve it. But Anthony was there, I took my medicine before things got really bad, and I survived. I’m still not feeling the greatest, and I wanted tomorrow’s post to be perfect so I’m giving myself an extra day to work on it. I’m so very excited about it. You see, tomorrow I will give you, Little Big readers, my mix CD.
– This photo was taken by me, with my point and shoot, during our completely underwhelming session with a local master photographer. We still haven’t seen the actual results of that session, probably because they are busy photoshopping my daughter’s head on the photo we chose to make it better.
– I’ve been kind of down lately. My chronic health problems have really been affecting what I can actually get accomplished in a day and I’m overwhelmed at how behind on my goals I am. The worst part is, there’s nothing I can do. This is just the way it is, at least for now. I’m trying to prevent myself from complaining too much here or on twitter. I got together with some friends recently and ended up crying all over them.I’m trying to learn to be content with the hand I’ve been dealt.
– Isobel is my one shining accomplishment in all of this, and she continues to grow healthy and strong and happy, even if I feel like I’m half the mother I want to be on some days.
– Goddamn, it is hot in the Valley. It went from breezy sweater temperatures to 85+ overnight. This last weekend it approached 90 degrees. Seeing as how this is only April, this does not bode well for summer. This is not natural.
– I dropped my camera off at the local repair store, but whatever is wrong with it (most likely shutter issues or lens communication) is such an involved repair it needs to be sent off to Canon, which means I’m out a camera for several weeks. I’m going to be using older, saved DSLR photos for the blog as much as I can, but I’ll also be relying on my iphone camera and my point and shoot for the time being.
– EDITED TO ADD: If you follow me on twitter or IG or flickr then you know that Anthony found an abandoned newborn kitten this morning and brought it home for me to care for. File this under one of the many many many many reasons I adore that man. He couldn’t bear to see it suffer, alone and abandoned in its first moments of life, so he brought it home, knowing there might not be more that we can do other than offer it comfort and companionship if we couldn’t keep it alive. My husband’s work often leads him to tow yards, and this is where he found the kitten, abandoned and completely exposed to the elements, placenta still attached. My mother just so happens to be the cat whisperer, and I grew up around her bottle-feeding kittens and fostering and adopting out cats of all ages, which is how I found myself at the vet’s office this morning, still in my jim jams, buying cat formula. I honestly don’t know if we will be able to keep him alive (I haven’t even checked the gender yet, just have a sense it’s a boy) but if we do we will likely keep him. Isobel is enchanted by him and at first thought him a squirrel. At the moment, that’s what I’m calling him. Squirrel. Currently he is nestled in my cleavage, passed out on milk.
Little Big Links:
Photographer Dad takes creative photos of his daughters. These are so fun to browse. Oh, to be that talented. Via Ellen.
A Peek At My New Apartment. My pal Van at thriftcore decorated her new apartment with her thrifty finds. I love that its cute and shows off her collections and thrifty flare without being cluttered. Via Van
Was Darwin wrong? My friend Dave has been telling me about this article since I first met him. Or, at least, he’s been telling me about the front cover and the first page. Brought to my attention again by shinyinfo.
Have you seen Kelly’s portfolio? You might remember Kelly as a guest blogger a few months back. Her art is gorgeous and she designed the Paul Frank gardening equipment that’s on sale at Target right now. I’ve bought almost all of it.
- Self-portrait with migraine.
- At the camera store.
- My plan for this afternoon.
- My husband’s surprise.
- Kite day.
If you could pick up and leave for vacation right now, where would you go?
This is such a hard question. I’m the opposite of well-traveled (poorly homed?) but in my dreams I’m always visiting faraway places and exotic locals. One thing getting altitude sickness in Reno has taught me is that I’m more of a hobbit than I thought. But some hobbits travel, and maybe I can be one of those? I’ve been talking with Anthony about visiting a few twitter and blog friends lately and he’s all for it. I really want to go to Chicago because I could see five or six great online friends in one trip! I’d also love to go to Eureka and visit the place where my grandma was raised. It’s warming up and I desperately want to visit Scandinavia, or Italy, or Japan. My sister and her husband are currently driving across the US from California to their new home in Washington, D.C. Anthony and I have talked about driving across the US, but we’ll probably have to wait awhile. We don’t really want to be in the car for long periods with Isobel at this age, but nor do I want to be apart from her for that long.
Do you have a question for me? I’d love to answer it! You can leave your question in the comments, @-reply me on twitter, email it to me at email@example.com or send me a messenger pigeon. Don’t actually do the last one, though. My cat will eat it.