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Little Big Shop: White Elephant Extravaganza

December 1, 2011 by Carrie Anne Leave a Comment

This year many of you will be invited to holiday parties in which you will be required to bring a gift of questionable taste. Although terms vary from place to place, this is generally what’s known as a White Elephant Gift Exchange. A good friend of mine has participated in such an exchange with her siblings for many years, and each year they try to outdo each other by finding the most ridiculous, most ludicrous gift of them all.

Perhaps you have been invited to such a get together? If so, do I have the Thrift Store Gore for you.

Yes, I’ve seen some pretty awful things in thrift stores over the years. Adult-sized Spiderman Underoos. A luncheon with a cheetah. Whatever this is. But now, dear readers, you can own a piece of Thrift Store Gore history. I have assembled some of my weirdest finds so you can become Queen (or King, we don’t hate) of the Gift Exchange.

These last few months have been spent tracking down the weirdest thrifted items to ensure only the most tasteless and uniquely terrible gift giving possible.

How about a decorative plate, commemorating different school houses that burned down?

Or a  book called “Wild Animals at Home,” a primitive predecessor of LOLCATS, in which someone took photos of animals at the zoo and then wrote offensive, and at times, horribly sexist, captions underneath them.

The author thinks animals really hate Democrats.

It’s a fun read for the kids! (Not really!)

I’m pretty taken with this handcrafted abalone lamp sombody’s cracked-out uncle cobbled together from a sea shell, a light socket, and an electrical cord. Bonus: it might be a fire hazard!

Years ago my friend Stefanie and I found a book called “I Can’t Think Of A Thing To Say!” while thrifting. It gives all sorts of advice on what to say to that boss hunk with the parachute pants.

The inside cover says “Especially for Girls.” It looks like Kotex packaging.

For those with crazy parents, who wouldn’t want to give them a “SPEAKING OF THE GRANDCHILDREN” photo album from 1970? (My mom thought this was a great idea, actually. But since she has only one grandchild I’d have to fill the rest of the album with cat photos.)

Last but not certainly not least, I found a creepy Anne Geddes doll that suggests she may be into furries. Give this to that extra irritating coworker who belches loudly and smells of Redbull, powdered donuts, and hopelessness.

But wait, there’s more! The first customer to purchase something from this section of my shop will get this slightly disturbing sheet of vintage wrapping paper free:

It’s a little crinkled so I’m not selling it, although it’s definitely weird enough to qualify as Thrift Store Gore.

Those of you who’ve purchased from me before know that each order comes with a photo thank you card and these gifts are no exception. Lucky buyers of Thrift Store Gore will get a photo of drunk Santa for your troubles. Someone’s been naughty this year! SPOILER ALERT: It’s Santa.

Stop by the shop and visit the Post-Cyber-Monday Sale, and pick up some Thrift Store Gore while you’re at it. Because you are never too old to be eaten by an Anne Geddes bear.

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Filed Under: Bat Country, The Little Big Shop, Thrift Store Gore Tagged With: Anne Geddes, Bear, Bearsuit, Burned Down Schoolhouses, Christmas, Creepy Bearsuit Doll, Etsy, Gift, Handcrafted Abalone Lamp, Little Big Shop, Present, Sexist Animals, Speaking of the Grandchidlren, Thrift Store, Thrift Store Gore, Thrifted, Thrifty, White Elephant Gift, White Elephant Gift Exchange

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Comments

  1. Elly Lou says

    December 1, 2011 at 8:24 am

    If I ever get my book published, I want it to have a Kotex themed inner cover, too.

    Reply
    • LittleBig says

      December 1, 2011 at 8:28 am

      With all that free tampon-strangling publicity you’ve given them, they should man up and sponsor it.

      Reply
  2. Windsor Grace says

    December 1, 2011 at 8:30 am

    These are amazing. Seriously. You’ve out done yourself ;)

    Reply
    • LittleBig says

      December 1, 2011 at 8:45 am

      What can I say? I’m a giver!

      Reply
  3. Ellen says

    December 1, 2011 at 7:40 pm

    Sadly, the animal book was gone when I looked. So awesome!

    Reply
    • LittleBig says

      December 2, 2011 at 2:58 pm

      If I ever find another I’ll let you know!

      Reply
  4. purplequark says

    December 3, 2011 at 12:14 pm

    I can only smile :)

    Reply
    • LittleBig says

      December 14, 2011 at 5:10 pm

      :)

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Snapshot « Little Big says:
    December 7, 2011 at 3:01 am

    […] I’m still having a sale! And there are still a few items of Thrift Store Gore left for all your White Elephant needs. Keep checking the shop, as I’m adding more thrifted […]

    Reply

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