It’s my birthday Sunday and I’m going to be celebrating it by crossing off a rather large item of my Life List. I’m very excited for a woman of my advanced age. Anthony and I will be kicking off our adventure by waking up at four in the freaking morning tomorrow, a sentence I can’t even type without involuntarily shaking my head no no no no.
I keep my camera close at hand, and one of my favorite parts of staying home with the baby is capturing heart-meltingly adorable moments like the photo above where she’s tucking in her baby deer. Her blanket, pillow, pillowcase, and even the beloved baby deer are all thrift store scores.
Have a great weekend!
What is Follow Friday? It’s a Twitter meme that I have taken a couple steps further. Learn more about it in my FAQ. See my nomination for a Shorty Award for Follow Friday here. You can read more Follow Friday goodness here.
running_home In Mockingjay they say kissing someone who’s drunk doesn’t count. That seriously cuts my list down.
crom74 Would it be wrong to Rick Roll our patrons by placing an OverDrive sticker on the main library Webpage that does not link to eBooks…?
rstevens My top Coffee Hack is the machete I use to keep people from taking my coffee.
thejohnblog I don’t know why people are attacking Cain’s 999 plan. Less than ten bucks for a Godfather’s pizza sounds like a deal to me.
SarahPaIinUSA Wait a minute, you guys really thought I was going to run for President?
yellowcardigan This ordinary mom learned the number one trick to whiten her belly mortgage! Click here to find out!!!!!
shariv67 Barking up the wrong tree lands me in the psych ward every time.
TheeBuddha Be comfortable in your own skin, only serial killers are comfortable in other people’s skin.
LouisPeitzman For me, attraction is 95% morbid curiosity.
opinionbastard There’s a homeless guy with Tourette’s who screams obscenities and nonsense near my building. He’d be an amazing GOP candidate.
FakeeEtiquette If you find yourself caught in reply-all spiral, it is polite to suggest everyone begin using the “reply none” button.
DrewDernavich First we lost the war on drugs, now we’re also losing the war on Kardashians.
TwoAdults I might go Old School Single Me and just eat a tube of cooked crescent rolls for dinner.
vhsTapes2 I assume “Holy Cow!” is a Hindu term.
just_immi I wish *my* house was that serene and tidy. But having the kids is better
Athenabee There is a 6lb newborn mere feet from me. My boobs can’t handle it.
RobinMcCauley My doctor said I have to stop drinking caffeine or I will die but it’s okay I’ve had a good run.
BtotheD Adam Sandler plays his own sister in a movie and he didn’t title it “Happy Gilmore Girls?” Missed opportunity, Sandman.
schmutzie I fell over twice while getting dressed. Is this because a) I am clumsy, b) a cat tripped me, or c) I need to eat more cookies?
MrWordsWorth Two words: clean laundry.
rstevens Morning drinking game: As long as it’s morning or could become morning again in the future, take a drink of coffee.
adiopink Son’s doc, noticing my recent limp: “You’ve got quite a hitch in your giddyup there.” #medicaljargon
MmeSurly Let’s go mountain biking in Africa! Let’s hike in Iran! Let’s rent a summer chalet in Mordor! STOP IT, YUPPIES.
LIFECOACHERS Be all that you can zombie.
happyhomeblog dear twitter: like i said about snooki, there’s no amount of promotion that will make me follow mitt romney. sorry.
steenyweeny i literally just taught someone what spell check is. how is this even possible. shall i euthanize myself or them?
MightyQuinn72 I asked the TSA agent fondling me if he could tell I’ve been working out.
hotdogsladies “It’s baby jaguars all the way down.” —Diego ‘Go!’ Márquez (Astrophysicist & Animal Rescue Prodigy)
WindsorGrace Rain and clouds make everything more magical in Autumn.
notthatkendall If time travel is ever invented, my first move would be to go back to the moment before WebMD is invented just to punch that guy in the face.
TheNextMartha So what have I learned from 14 years of marriage? We can each play a mean game of chicken when it’s time to mow the lawn.
JohnRossBowie Last night, I sneezed so hard my mouthguard flew out. Ladies, I am a married man, control yourselves.
plasticanimal Steam Warmed Winter Woolens #RejectedYankeeCandle
charmanderp Summer Outhouse #RejectedYankeeCandle
recyclenazi Hot dog water. #RejectedYankeeCandle
triston33480Wet Balls #rejectedyankeecandle
YWGSourpuss Dingleberry Bliss #RejectedYankeeCandle
down0 Packing Peanut #RejectedYankeeCandle
NicLewis Lost-and-Found Lingerie. #RejectedYankeeCandle
lateandsoon This is disgraceful. I’m a drunkard. It says so on my passport. Wait—this isn’t my passport; it’s a sock.
apelad I hope whichever internet browser I move on to next has tabs everywhere. Everywhere tabbing is the future.
lateandsoon This ice cream cake will counteract the scotch. I just know it will. No hangovers for this jerk–OW! OW, OW! BRAIN FREEZE.
JerryThomas This is either really bad peanut butter or really good hummus.
MmeSurly “More avocado” is my whatever-the-opposite-of-safe-word-is.
ruthbrarian I think I’m going with “Apprentice librarian / Mistress of Serials” as my tagline for now. Yes, I am both.
drewtoothpaste Happy Thanksgiving, Canada! Today, your imperialist holiday coincides with ours, Columbus Day. Take the day to oppress indigenous people!
thegrumbles i forgot that i adjusted my desk chair and just slide face-first into my monitor. #officelife
juliewbee Ha, ha. The clown drove away with his little clown wife in a van with a license place that read REDNOSE. #noimnotdrunk
EvenMoreSarah I saw a toddler in skinny jeans today. I feel diapers and skinny jeans should be mutually exclusive.
MrsFreestyle This weekend my party-animal neighbors are blasting “Can’t Touch This” …music hits me, so hard.
jess_mc Apparently street musicians mixing Sublime and Patti Smith can expect money from me.
TheRedQueen I really feel like I am part of the longest running episode of punked ever at work. This people can’t be real.
louisvirtel “Dry humor” is just bitchiness slowed down.
timcarvell OK, this is weird. The CEO of Netflix is now just standing under my window, holding up a boom box playing “In Your Eyes”.
lauracope is it cheaper to rent a booth in a recording studio if you’re not actually recording? i just need a soundproof room, suitable for screaming.
LPCookbook Hey so my iPhone automatically capitalizes KEGGER. Thank you Bill Gates!
papersquared The day I’m come up with the perfect thing for @exlibris’ #FollowFriday will probably be the day Twitter folds and only my cat will hear it.
ProfessorSnack Columbus Day tweets are a few days early because you don’t chart new territory by staying with the crowd.
Bookish_Bitch Pretty sure I just pulled a boob muscle sneezing. I’m just gonna go to bed.
apodixis I hope when I die people tell jokes and laugh about me at my funeral. I also hope the jokes are about how incredibly awesome I was.
NASeason When the baby naps I sometimes get so paralyzed by all the things I could be doing that I just sit on the couch and read tweets.
WeirdHorse Just slipped on a worm and fell head first into some mud. Sipping mud, depressed
Mike_FTW Steve Jobs had an incredible life. You should have one too.
pattonoswalt RIP Steve Jobs. Closest thing we had to Tony Stark.
jenifersf I’ve decided to have a party! Who wants to host it?
milonguera Joaquin talking to himself “Behold! The biggest rock in Africa!” “That’s not the biggest rock” Arguing with himself since everyone is gone.
muffpunch The same people surprised to learn Sarah Palin isn’t running for president will be crushed when they find out there’s no Santa.
ScrewyDecimal It appears that I’ve forgotten how to speak “teen.” I knew this day would come, and honestly, it’s almost a relief.
rustymk2 Just made a fake female profile on Christian Mingle for ‘Bea Elsie Bubbs’ so I could cast out the infidels on their site.
jenifersf My new cocktail creation is awesome. You take a sip and for several seconds you have no idea what just happened.
luckyshirt If Lil Jon and Lil Wayne had a baby, it would be Lil Jon Wayne The Abomination Born Of Two Men And That’s Not Even How Baby Names Work.
Berlinswhimsy My marketing textbook could be sold as a sleeping aid.
thejohnblog I keep forgetting to delete this “Do You Have Alzheimer’s?” quiz my mom emailed me.
vhsTapes2 DEATH TO ALL HOMOPHOBES. Too much? Dial it down? Fine. MOSQUITO BITES TO ALL HOMOPHOBES.
theRratedBull It’s so hard to overcome stupidity. But I challenge you to keep trying.
LPCookbook You can do it! I do not feel like exercising tonight. I feel like sitting on the couch and stuffing my face with pizza. QUICK SOMEONE ENABLE ME.
shinyinfo I mashed the chickpeas after the cooking process was over. They are lovely. I love chickpeas so much I can’t even… *tear*
shariv67 I’m the Rumpelstiltskin of spinning 30 minutes of work into full 8 hours.
_Monocle_ The Deficit. #RejectedHalloweenCostumes
Sigafoos You know, when I was younger I missed a lot of homosexuality in Mercedes Lackey books. What’s the opposite of gaydar? I have that.
jenstatsky Every day, millions of babies are forced to run laps b/c a celebrity told InTouch she lost the baby weight by just chasing her kids around.
SpaghettiJesus I can’t stop singing, “Tonight there’s gonna be a flank steak”. This is my punishment for mentioning Thin Lizzy in a tweet.
sarcasmically Apparently moms in pentagram shirts are not welcome in this neighborhood. #oops
CanuckLibrarian Drying Zeus off, he rolls to side: “don’t forget my belly!” Dog, your belly is not wet.
theleanover Install me as your benevolent dictator and it’ll be sandwiches and beer for all!
SweetDeeeeee TV in general is terrible for the most part. It’s like watching millions of years of evolution collapse in 30 minute segments.
EvenMoreSarah guess that’s Pepto Bismol spilled on the stairs at work, but it looks like someone’s been murderin’ Care Bears up in here.