I helped out at my bestie’s yard sale this last weekend, and in addition to making them a ton of sweet cash, I came across one of the best cases of Thrift Store Gore ever. I’d say it’s at least as weird as the poster that looks like it is drowning a baby while talking about Jesus. (Keep scrolling. It’s at the bottom.) And Angela didn’t even know she had it.
Justin took a photo of Mel and me. I look barely coherent.
We started unpacking items for the sale when we came across this doll. In the interest of making this as anonymous as possible, a well-meaning family member gave Angela’s infant son a porcelain collector’s doll. Angela thought it was strange to give an infant a collector’s doll so she took one look at the dolls face and stashed it away in a cupboard for a future yard sale. She had no idea.
So we took it out of the box to display it, and guess what we found.
Ohmygod, it’s not just a creepy collector’s doll. It’s a creepy collector’s doll that sits on the potty with its pants down.
It was supposed to be posed with it’s hands on its face to match its “Ho, hum, just takin’ a shit!” expression, but Angela thought it looked much better this way.
The doll’s name was Brian, so naturally we named him Brian McPoopington, or just Brian McPoop as the day went on. If you click on the instructions above, you can see the admonishments to force Brian’s arms into their correct pose. Which, duh, the pose Angela found was much better.
We were so sure Brian McPoop wasn’t going to sell that Angela started making plans to give him to our friend Scott as a white elephant Christmas gift. He sold immediately, of course.
We had a hard time fitting him back in the box, so Angela ended up putting the potty over his head so she could close the lid.
Sigh. Elke Hutchens. You should be ashamed. What do you have to say for yourself?