As a parent and a librarian, imagine how excited I was to find the Your Baby Can Read! Early Reading System. Despite the claims by child development “experts” that this system was basically “snake oil”, you can just tell the system works by that very intelligent-looking baby on the cover. I mean, look at that hat! I decided to partner with this company to bring you a few more titles to boost the skills of your baby’s early child development.
Reading is just the beginning. Give your baby a leg up on all those other snooty kids by teaching them hieroglyphics! Nothing says “my mommy loves me more than your mommy loves you” than a kid who’s familiar with a preliterate artistic tradition of an ancient people.
Act now, and in addition to learning ideograms, buy Your Baby Can Read… Palms! It won’t help her achieve when it comes to standardized testing, but she’ll be great fun at parties. (At least, I’m guessing she will be, just look at that Fame Line!)
And parents who really love their children aren’t going to leave without also purchasing Your Baby Can Read! Minds! This video is the most riveting of the set, consisting of nothing but a three-hours of Hyponotoad.
Parenting is hard work, you guys, but you can make your investment pay for yourself by teaching your baby to count… cards! No really, we can get rich off this. Some say it’s risky, but what Vegas casino is going to suspect a baby?
To succeed in this fast-paced world, your baby is going to need all the help they can get. So it’s a good thing we’re here for you.