Life List: Fill a Garden with Gnomes

8 Mar

How very fortuitous that in my last post about our cozy backyard Death Trap, Sara mentioned using the waterfall as a gnome stand. I already have a garden full of Buddhas, and just recently I started fulfilling Life List item #107: Populate the garden with a village of gnomes.

A couple weeks ago we were roaming the aisles of Costco, looking for firewood because the heater was out again, and I believe I threatened Anthony by saying that I was going to spend the weekend in the shower unless we got a fire going. Costco was totally out of firewood, but I did find gnomes. I was ecstatic and naturally told Anthony I was going to spend the weekend in the shower unless he bought me garden gnomes, but he didn’t even hear me—by that point he was already loading the gnomes into the cart.

We put one by the front door because he looked so welcoming, holding his little lantern as if to say, ‘Come on in, friends!’ Although I’m going to have to teach him to bite the shins and headbutt the groins of solicitors. Isobel likes to greet him and pat him on the head when we come home. I like to think of him as our woodland bouncer.

I told Anthony that they needed names, but since Isobel already refers to them as “Santas,” it’s kind of a lost cause. And oh, look! They came with care instructions!

I found a gnome last year while thrifting, but he’s vintage and delicate and we keep him inside. I’m really not even sure I can defend his gnomehood, because an equally valid argument could be made for him being a dockworker or a fisherman. He’s playing the concertina, so the argument could be made either way. Isobel is obsessed with him and calls him “baby.”

 Costco only had two models of gnomes. I’m going to have to go out searching for more, because two gnomes isn’t so much a village as it is a domestic partnership. If anyone has seen some cute gnomes for sale, let me know.

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No Responses to “Life List: Fill a Garden with Gnomes”

  1. Dana March 8, 2011 at 9:37 am #

    We have a gnome garden with three gnomes, but I may have to replace or repaint at least one of them, since I accidentally left them out this winter. They look so nice amidst the rocks, trees, and bird bath!

    • LittleBig March 8, 2011 at 9:58 am #

      A gnome garden is a happy garden.

  2. AmandaStretch March 8, 2011 at 9:38 am #

    |because two gnomes isn’t so much a village as it is a domestic partnership.

    And then I choked on my hard-boiled egg, but don’t worry. I’m okay now.

    • LittleBig March 8, 2011 at 9:58 am #

      Sweet! I pride myself on the ability to nearly kill my friends.

  3. Jenjen March 8, 2011 at 10:15 am #

    We need to address the gnome’s right to be recognized as a married couple. They deserve the same benefits as the rest of us.

    • LittleBig March 8, 2011 at 11:28 am #

      It’s true. Gnome society is surprisingly conservative.

  4. Laura March 8, 2011 at 1:02 pm #

    i lost my gnome in the move to CO. :(
    or rather, he escaped to journey on to more exotic, faraway places. i wish him the best.
    and you also. good luck in your quest. they are wily, those gnomes.

  5. stella March 8, 2011 at 7:05 pm #

    I have loved gnomes for most of my life, thanks to a Wil Huygen book I had when I was a little girl. This is my FAVORITE gnome source: PhenomeGNOME.etsy.com

    In addition to the gnomes I have been lusting after, I have been eyeing this sign for a while: http://www.etsy.com/listing/64775026/dont-piss-off-the-fairies-sign-fairy

  6. stella March 8, 2011 at 8:28 pm #

    There’s also http://www.zwergen-power.com/ but it’s in German. I enjoy their wild selection but I have never bought anything.

    • stella March 8, 2011 at 8:29 pm #

      I meant to say “wide” not “wild”. “Wild” kind of fits though.

      • LittleBig March 10, 2011 at 4:47 pm #

        I cannot thank you enough for these links, Stella!

  7. purplequark March 8, 2011 at 10:05 pm #

    oh wow!

  8. Sara March 9, 2011 at 6:08 pm #

    Awesome! I loves the gnomes. Not only are they fun to look at, but apparently, when you’re not looking, they do all sorts of work for you…”helping out” and such. Or at least, that’s the intention anyway. :P

    Okay, so gnomes-for-sale alert: Target, garden section–MINI gnomes for $3.99. I bought some for my mom at the Riverbank Target and placed them strategically in her garden (without telling her–because gnomes like the element of surprise). They’re doing helpful activities like “shoveling something [probably poop] into a bucket”, “holding a mighty stick”, and “sitting on a stump while admiring a bird”. The Target in Turlock had like one of each kind left (hurry, run, ahh!)…

    • LittleBig March 10, 2011 at 4:48 pm #

      Hopefully they still have some next time I’m able to go!

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