It’s been a busy week — Halloween, the Election, and the Giants won the World Series. Aside from that, Anthony’s been out of town on business quite a bit and I’ve been single parenting while suffering through a sinus infection. I really can’t complain, though, as much as I’d love to: my Mom and Anthony’s grandma have stepped up to help with Isobel and I am forever grateful.
jtymann Write a service where people can post 140 character messages about themselves w/ and open api. Trust me. #tweetyour16yearoldself
louispeitzman Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to sign your college diploma. …Yeah, it’s an autograph—let’s go with that. #tweetyour16yearoldself
robogirl The Internet was on the fritz for a good 15 minutes! I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE. Not really, but it did kind of suck.
MeganBoley Is there a Roomba that specializes in cat puke?
wawoodworth Apparently, my brain’s screensaver mode is just to loop Spongebob Squarepants’ song “Best Day Ever”.
blankslate There’s about 10,000 reasons why being gay is awesome and kids don’t need to kill themselves. It doesn’t just get better, it gets fantastic
RonSupportsYou Tina Fey: “Calling Sarah Palin (as Fox News does) “Governor Palin” is like calling me ‘Dairy Queen Employee’. I was once, but I quit.”
hopelarson Maybe print is dead, but at least when you finish a book, there isn’t a string of obnoxious comments on the last page.
theRratedBull I prefer to buy ribbed toilet paper. You know… for her pleasure.
thejohnblog Keep your friends close, but keep anyone who uses the term ‘frienemies’ as far away from you as possible.
fierceflawless Therapy today! Guess which of you I’ll be talking about. #oversharewednesday
chickenscottpie FUN FACT: If you vote for a guy who openly calls for the repeal of the Civil Rights Act, it is legal to hunt you for sport.
sarcasmically I feel like I’m in an episode of House, sans the scathing commentary of attractive doctors. Oh wait, I guess I’m in an episode of E.R. then.
simontarr The people have spoken, and they have said “DERP.”
heyrenees I was looking forward to retiring in California and becoming a stoner granny. Thanks. A. Lot.
TheNextMartha Words used to find my blog “Glue gun stuck to butt”
superchunkband Boehner crowd chanting “USA” – they think these elections were between us and other countries! Awesome.
FrankConniff If I see one more millionaire TV pundit say Obama shouldn’t have passed health care, I’m going to need more health care.
danforthfrance I dunno how many election jokes I have in me. What’s the Twitter equivalent of weeping?
BOOKSTOREHULK IF BOEHNER LASTS LONGER THAN TWO YEARS, PLEASE CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN.
OngoingBS Hey Christine O’Donnell, go home and masturbate. You’ll feel better.
wordlust Footsie seems like a lot of fun till you try crotchsie.
AmandaStretch Thanks, Twitter, for suggesting I follow myself! I AM pretty cool.
goodinthestacks When I went to library school, I never envisioned myself counting money so often. #youseemerollin #somequarters
danforthfrance Tunt #LeastPopularBabyNames
RootsAndZest Vulveena #LeastPopularBabyNames
thejohnblog Not enough ‘Eye Of Newt,’ huh, O’Donnell?
DaveHolmes I’m watching election results on Fox News, with anchors Cheerleader Who’s Forced To Talk To You & Little Boy Going As Newsman For Halloween.
FrankConniff Don’t feel bad, Christine O’Donnell – Today is the first day of the rest of your life as a Fox News employee.
unschool Teen to his brother: “We are so close, we can even finish each others’…” His brother: “…sandwiches.”
kellyoxford There aren’t any girl magicians because we burned them all.
God_Damn_Batman Don’t blame me, I voted for martial law.
gt733 I think my twitter stream has finally gotten to the point that lets me experience paranoid schizophrenia without actually suffering from it.
yowhatsthehaps Apparently it is not appreciated when you greet the people at the Allergist’s office with, “SUP, NERDS!”
kerrianne I spy a spam-looking email that’s not really spam. Written in all caps. From my mom.
mordicai I’m prettty sure that Earth’s first contact with alien life involved an infectious noological meme-creature. It would explain the Macarena.
davidlubar If you have any friends who think the earth is 6,000 years old, remember to warn them that voting is a sin.
highlyirritable You’d think my kids would know by now not to leave me alone with their candy. I kinda lost respect for them today.
simontarr Just took a civic doody.
alwysabridesmd I like that Twitter thinks I should follow @CourtneyLoveUK. I like to think I’m the buttoned-down, less heroin-y poor man’s Courtney.
MrBigFists There is a reason text is typically left justified. In most cases, it’s a mistake to align with the right.
badbanana The “I Voted” sticker. A real-life Foursquare badge for old people.
WhyIsDaddyCryin it’s Pants Optional Friday and my dog’s eating a waffle!! BTW that’s not code for anything, my dog’s really eating a damn waffle.
Tweetin4Palin Can’t wait 2 see if my candidates won cause I’m influency or lost cause I’m persecuted by media bastards. Either way, hellooo TV talkin’!
jgquinton Since the title ‘pro photographer’ is abused to being meaningless, I’ll just wear a cape and call myself ‘The Illuminator”.
badbanana Last night of political ads. A sad time for those of us who enjoy black and white photos combined with ominous piano music.
tinastullracing It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.
lafix Let’s hope San Francisco wins it all tomorrow, too.
Zaius13 I understand the local sportsball club was victorious in what was apparently an important sportsball match. My geophysical area is superior!
shinyinfo I don’t mean to brag or anything but Michelle Obama just sent me an e-mail reminding me to vote tomorrow. Shelly Shell and I go way back.
not_CNN If I go through life never having to jump through a window while shooting two guns simultaneously, than all of this has been for naught.
TheRedQueen Twitter is mostly my outlet for complaining. It’s cheaper than therapy.
zombiesitcom Jumped into a taxi last night, told driver to “follow that cab.” He turned and said “I’ve waited my whole career to hear that.”
LaurelKS HELLO BURLINGAME I AM INSIDE YOU
FrankConniff I’m sure Cat Stevens performance at Stewart/Colbert rally made all suicidal young men with elderly girlfriends smile.
lilpyrogirl Yes, I really was at waffle house at 3am…eating bacon…in a peacock costume…drunk.
CanuckMackem My wife said I’m too immature and if I don’t grow up it’s going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erect.
pnkrcklibrarian My name is Lisa and I’ll be your instigator this evening.
shinyinfo There comes a time in every young librarian’s life where she has to shave the balls off her sweater-vest. #NotaEuphemism