I’d like to say it’s been awhile since we’ve been terrorized by something small, striped, and furry, but I’d be lying. Not too long ago we rescued a cat I called Moxie and my sister called Sakara but still, and that cat was an asshole, but still, I don’t think I was prepared enough for the assholery of owning two kittens at the same time. They are NUTS.

My dream of having cats that cuddle together is realized. Even better, they cuddle with Zorro, too. In fact, Zorro will never admit to this publicly, but I have have caught them trying to nurse on Zorro before. He’s such a good Mama!

Moxie-kitten was often referred to as ‘that asshole kitten’ and these two were beginning to hear that a lot well. But now that Isobel’s talking I decided a change in nicknames was in order. We can’t have Isobel referring to the kittens as “our li’l assholes” when family comes to visit, now can we? I’ve been calling them The Moron Twins, which you’ll remember if you watched the movie Splash a thousand times as a mermaid-crazed child. It gets the point across without getting us kicked out of finer establishments.

These kittens are destructive, and we all have sets of claw-marks on us, but they aren’t feral or aggressive cats. They just tend to do things like try to climb up your leg with their claws. When you’re wearing shorts. Or launch themselves on your back from the couch. Or run across your face a top speed, scratching you in the jugular. (Anthony is convinced Poppy was trying to decapitate him.) They’re not wild, they’re just kittens.

This happens on a daily basis now:

Fortunately, unlike other cats I’ve seen do this, she is capable of climbing all the way up and going all the way down. Jupiter climbs up here, too, but he never goes as high as Poppy.

You may notice that my lovely curtains are gone. That’s because one of the first things Poppy did after we brought them home was pee on them. Excellent! I wanted that spot to look more… yellow. I’ve washed the curtains and they are good as new but I’m not putting them up yet for fear they’ll get shredded to bits.

Both kittens also love sleeping the Easter baskets that I haven’t put away yet (since Isobel still loves to play with them). Isobel thinks this is the greatest thing ever because there’s nothing she enjoys more than carrying around a basket of kitten.

The kittens get her back by pestering her intermittently throughout the day.

The first cat name Isobel learned was “Peaches.” She still goes in our bedroom looking for him and calling his name. She calls Zorro ‘Orro’. Poppy comes out clearly half the time but the other half the time she’s called ‘Moppy.’ Jupiter, however, is usually also called ‘Poppy’ because there is no way she can say anything even close to Jupiter. We tried getting her to call him ‘Jupey’ but it came out ‘Peepee.’ So he  might just be Poppy for right now.

Even though we’re down two important members, our house still seems full of kitty goodness.