Generally speaking, every thrift store has three categories of junk. The first layer, and largest by far, is the random selection of everyday crap. Stuff that doesn’t warrant a second look, stuff that you might find at your house, and stuff that if you had you might very well think, “I should donate that.”
The second layer is much smaller, and this layer is what thrift store-lovers like me call ‘the good stuff.’ It’s the treasure that lures you in, the stuff epic Thrift Store Scores are made of. It’s the reason thrift stores exist.
The third layer is the smallest, and by far the most puzzling. This layer is made up of stuff so weird you can’t ever imagine why it was made in the first place. It stands out in a sea of mediocre items and draws attention to itself with its wrongness. Sometimes the item is inadvertently disturbing, but at the very least, this third layer is always amusing.
This, my friends, is the reason why I like to thrift in groups. It’s no fun to find a hedgehog orgy statue by yourself. You just look sort of pervy laughing at it alone. Other people giggling along with you legitimizes it, if only slightly, and certainly adds to the fun. This is also why I like to bring my camera with me while thrifting: so I can share the awkwardness with all of you.
For example, wouldn’t this make a wonderful addition to your home or office? No?
Or what about that weird cat puzzle? It wasn’t enough just to complete it. It needed to be glued to a slab of cardboard to preserve the achievement forever. Or, at least, till we donate it.
This clown in and of itself is not weird or unusual. The fact that it clawed its way out of a huge bin of stuffed toys to stalk me is horrifying and the reason I sleep with one eye open at night.
God Bless this Trailer! Who doesn’t need that for their Winnebago or Airstream trailer? (Confession: I kind of want a vintage Airstream trailer.)
The photo next to it made me laugh in the saddest way possible. That’s clearly not the photo that came with it. That’s an actual framed photo of a dude. Someone just donated the whole frame, photo and all. Sad! But also funny.
Somewhere, the 12 year old me is infinitely sad that I never knew about unicorn bear. Oh unicorn bear! We met too late in life.
I think this is the winner of the ‘ extremely disturbing’ category:
The bad part about finding all of the astoundingly weird things is that sometimes? I get attached. Oh, weird cross-eyed duck! I first wondered why the hell you were made and who would ever want you. But now, I’ve become fond of your painful-looking charm.
And Hangover Owl! Every time I saw your still-drunken face I thought to myself, “It’s been three weeks and nobody’s purchased Hangover Owl! What’s wrong with these people?!” Till finally, eventually I caved and I bought him myself. He wore me down. I could no longer resist his inappropriate charm.
I did it for you.
I figured this would be the perfect thing to hang in a bathroom so you can gaze at him while you get ready for work and think to yourself, “Well, at least I’m not a Hung Over Owl!” H.O. would also be a great addition to your cubicle, desk, or other work area, so you can wink at him from time to time when he asks to borrow some aspirin.
Yes, especially for the readers of Littlebig I’m offering my FIRST EVER BLOG GIVEAWAY!!1one1!
All you have to do is leave a comment below and you will be entered in the randomly-selected drawing for Hangover Owl.
- The contest will be open until, oh, let’s say Wednesday, June 9th at midnight PST (with Daylight Savings, yo)
- Enter only once; I know H.O. is really rad but let’s be fair
I really hope at least one of you enters because this is a pretty sweet owl.